Why Do Some Men And Women Just Go Into The Hermit life Of Living?

1. 49

   Atcelleposted 9 years ago

   Why Do Some Men And Women Just Go Into The Hermit life Of Living?
   
   Some individuals just go into a life in a shelf of their former selves when something in their lives didn't work out.
   
   

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   They decide to play it safe in order to avoid futre pain and disappointment. You have to want more something than you fear failure. For example it takes more courage to fall in love a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time than it doses the first time.
   This is especially true if they got their heart broke.
   "Once bitten, twice shy."

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   1. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! dashingscorpio you have a fine point there, and Yes! I understand what you mean on the other hand playing it safe is good but showing strength is better as one must show individuals that Yes! They can go on even after what they went through.

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   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Marcelle, I agree with you. However your question was (Why?)
      Therefore I didn't bother to weigh in with any advice or solutions.

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   3. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That's reasonable dashingscorpio

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3. 72

   Ken Burgessposted 9 years ago

   Sure, when something devastating has happened, or when what life has thrown at you has overwhelmed.
   
   Age doesn't factor a lot into that, you can be a kid, or a grandparent.
   
   Health issues aside, drug related aside, a perfectly normal functioning person can choose to withdraw if hit with too much, and feels overloaded or overwhelmed.
   
   A person can only take so much mental and emotional trauma and turmoil, just like the body can only take so much.  They are much the same in that sense... put too many demands on the body and it will break down, same goes for the mind and spirit.
   
   For most of us, just like an injured body will recover from the injuries, a person will recover.  It takes time.

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   1. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! Exactly! It does take time and it takes strength as well for each individuals to get over all obstacles to show themselves and other that Yes! They are strong and can bounce back from all life's challenges, and one must know when to go back in s

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4. 64

   WordCrafter09posted 9 years ago

   If someone has been through something (or a bunch of "somethings"), they can know that it's too much to expect some people to understand.  Trying to help someone else understand can make it worse when they don't and/or when they jump to the conclusion of assuming they know how to relate anyway.
   
   Also, when someone is having a hard time mustering fake positive-ness all the time they can choose to stay away from others because they don't want to darken the doorstep of those others.
   
   It's just easier for those, and a few other, reasons to keep to oneself and not have what one is dealing with/getting over made worse and more complicated by having to worry about dealing with other people.
   
   It can be hard for people who automatically just seek out someone else for "support" to understand that not everyone does that, and some people would rather keep things simple by keeping all "unnecessary" people at a distance.  Of course, if one is a parent one may find the energy to be what one needs to be around one's children.   That may be about all the person-in-question thinks he/she needs to muster up.
   
   People should be careful not to assume that because someone is keeping to himself he is "a shell of his former self".  It's very possible that person is very much his same old self but has decided that while he once could be bothered trying to be what someone else expected him to be, or being what he was when he didn't have some big thing to deal with; he is asserting his right to do what's right for him under the circumstances.
   
   It's often said that "nobody loves you when you're down and out".  I'd say something different:  There are some people who seem to like you better when you're "down and out" in some way.  When one is dealing with something he/she can't be bothered with all that kind of baloney or with worrying about anyone he/she considers "extra people".  It doesn't mean the person-in-question has changed or doesn't care about them - only that, for a time, he/she is better off keeping them at some distance.  (Again, I see children, even grown ones, as exceptions from that).
   
   Also, with some people more than others, there are times when someone will turn a person's "thing" into being "all about them" first and foremost.  When one can't be bothered with a "power struggle" of whose "thing"/"issue" it really is pulling inward is the best way to avoid those "power struggles".
   
   "Shell of former self" may indicate how little that other person understands.

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   1. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      ME Whelan you have such relavent points and Yes! I'm in agreement with all of them and Yes! Strength must be measure to help the individual find back him or herself to gain back entry in among society

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5. 86

   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   ah, this is very common among the singles.
   My brother in law and I have 2 male friends who are still single.
   They lived in a hermit life.
   They closed their doors from the public and their relatives too.
   Family members could not understand their weird behavior.
   Very agitated over small matters and not sociable.
   They live in their shell, to protect themselves from getting hurt, physically and emotionally.

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   1. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      peachy some may think that this is wise and Yes! It is to a point, but you know what? It also shows cowardism of weakness, the world is the world and all aspects of living in it changes one Yes! The change of good or bad, ways are learning tools.

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6. 82

   tamarawilhiteposted 9 years ago

   It hurts less than trying and failing. Repeated rejections can do this, as can a severe trauma / bad divorce.

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   1. 49

      Atcelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I also understand this Tamara Wilhite but if everyone decides to hide themselves away because of all you have mentioned what will society be like? It's takes courage determination boldness strength faith the need to go on forgive forget move on .

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