As Jesus said, love them anyway.
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
You are a much better human than me JThomp42. I simply limit my contact with them and avoid thinking or talking about them. I find it very hard to love enemies, while I don't hate them, it would take a lot for me to trust or love them.
This doesn't mean we are required to be around them or associate with them. Just love them from afar.
I'm with you on that Express10 but I do pray for enemies.
Shrug it off. They are missing out, besides you don't want to deal with someone who hates a person for no reason. You are better off just ignoring them as much as possible.
First of all, they may have no reason related to you, but every emotion has a reason within the person. The person may, for example, have food allergies that trigger rage and hatred.
Know that there is always a reason. And know that it has nothing to do with you.
That opens the door to loving them, and also having compassion for them in their suffering.
The next step depends on the relationship. If this is someone you must live with (a close family member and you can't afford to move out; or a committed love relationship where hatred has grown), it is very difficult. See my hubs on the 5 Love Languages and the 5 Languages of Apology for tips.
If not, then it is best to create distance, even to end the relationship. Loving someone means sharing the planet with them and wishing them no harm and all healing. It doesn't mean spending any time with them.
When we walk away from relationships that don't work, we can devote ourselves to healthy creative lives where we are wanted and where we do make a difference.
Don't waste your time trying to get them to like you. They have their own personal reasons for not liking you and it most likely out of your control. They may be jealous of you, you may remind them of someone else they don't like. You will probably never know. Don't sink to their level, be the bigger person and treat them with respect. Being consumed by hate for someone else will only bring negative into your life. If anything, feel sorry for them.
People never hate you for no reason. However, they will hate you for a reason that has absolutely nothing to do with what you said, did or did not say or do. People externalize sometimes with little or no awareness. In other words their issues are externalized to other innocent victims even though it is indeed their issue. Thus it is significantly more complicated then perhaps what you are "seeing" in this. The best solution is to be as supportive as you can and try to bring a new awareness to them about the real issue without their retreat into further psychosis.
Be totally unconcerned and completely ignore them. Love yourself at all times regardless of everybody in the world. Be detached from all negative opinions. The source of love is actually within you, therefore you are really already free of the ignorant behavior of others. Everybody doesn't have the same morals, manners or conditionings. Just remain happy in your own consciousness and you will see that others negative behavior cannot affect you at all. The only power is within you. You can only feel your own feelings. Everything else is an illusion. A mental concept in your mind.
The most important thing in life is to set examples everyday and bring respect for yourself .Every day a good change would make you different from others.
However ,when somebody hates you for no reason than do not try to prove yourself to them because in the course of proving yourself in front of others you would forget your inner qualities and power to turn stones ahead..
Thus believe in yourself and that believe would certainly take you ahead of all.
I'll be honest, it rattles me. Not when people simply do not like me, but when they HATE me for no apparent reason that I can see. Being basically a gentle soul who follows a path of healing others, such hostility, for me, is like looking into the face of evil. And if that does not rattle you, something is wrong. So my first task is to settle myself and stop focusing on the hater. The I methodically validate myself. The 'loving my enemies' part takes time, since 'you'll never make a saint of me'.
Ignore them. Walk away! Know who you are. Be kind whenever possible. Know that you can't " fix" the world. Make no room for " haters" in your life. They'll only beat you down.
Just leave them alone
And if they disturb you, then give them a reason to hate you..............
Don't let it get to you.Just brush it off & show them love. It may sound easier said than done. Sometimes you gotta pray about it. You'll be blessed in the end.
It happens and I have the impression you just can't do a thing about it. I must confess it may 'get to me' once and a while, especially when it concerns somebody I used to consider a friend.
I already found out it's no use going to talk to them, whatever happens they 'hate' you anyway, because their hate is mostly because of circumstances that surround you. Hard to use the word jealousy but it's often a main motivator, and you cannot talk away jealousy. The best advice is just to get on with your life and swallow the heartache.
I try to practice "friendly detachment." That means I don't get close to them or expose myself to them unnecessarily, but I also don't give them reason to dislike me more and I stay receptive to them on at least a surface level. I will smile and chat with them, etc.
But I won't do that if someone is pointedly hostile to me. When that happens, I will confront them to ask them what they dislike and try to sort it out, but if it can't be sorted out, I let them have their hatred and shut down to them altogether.
Many times people hate because they feel jealous or many times they taught to hate some people based on one or many attributes. For example people hate other based on their customs or similar things.
As others said theee is no need to waste time and energy thinking about it if you know one has not done anything wrong.
No easy answer. You can try harder to be what they want you to be. That ideally is what they probably want.
However, that really is not an option.
Sadly there are those who will be haters. The bottom line is that some just love to hate.
So, for you, it simply means you live your life to the exclusion of those who fall into that category.
If it is happening at work and is bordering on harassing or is outright harassing then you must speak with management about that.
And if that does not yield satisfactory results then you will need to make some decisions.
Avoiding those who would do everything to steal your day can be done. I have been in those situations. And try as I may I still was put into situations with them. In those cases, I put on an academy award performance burying my feelings of angst.
Often those who hate you are jealous of what you have or what you have achieved. For example, if you have been promoted and they felt as if they should have been, then there you go...the meanness creeps in.
Easy to live with? NO Absolutely not.
But you can survive it. Think of your value, how worthy you are, and consider from whence they come. Why are they choosing the life of a hater?
Perhaps understanding where they come from will make you to be able to cope with the situation better. It helped me. It still was painful but I never let it show.
I hope this helps a smidge. Sending Angels to you today ps
I'm living this situation right now. My ex has always treated me with hate, even when we were married for 15 years. We're actually still in divorce process right now. He acts like he's trying to be my friend but he insults me every chance he gets. I've done so much for him and our children and get no respect or appreciation whatsoever from him. He constantly accuses me of the idiot things he is doing, and I'm not even doing them. It's his guilty conscience. I had to learn, after all of those years, to love myself. I couldn't be a good person/mother, if I didn't care about myself because self-loathing and insecurities resonate outside of you onto your loved ones. It wasn't fair to my children that I kept myself in depression because I wanted to believe the crap he was saying about me. I taught myself how to have a relationship with God and that He is the one being/entity in this universe that loves me, knows me, and appreciates me. Nobody else can do that except Him and myself. So, I changed my life completely around, especially mentally, and I left my abusive ex. Things are tough right now, he has the children more than I do, but he's a decent dad. He was a horseshit husband. But I did what I had to do to get away from the situation and I don't care about the things he says anymore. He tries to get me to fall for his crap maybe so that I'll go back to him and be his punching bag again, but he doesn't know that it'll never in a million years happen because I changed my mindset, I didn't just make a simple decision. My heart and mind work in unison now. My soul is in charge of me along with God. Nobody else's opinion matters but yours. If you're living a genuine life, true to yourself. Nothing else matters.
Many people are misguided. Just don't take it to heart. Those hating are hurting and it is that pain that misguides them and creates confusion. Pray for them.
All the best to You!
I ignore them and detatch myself from them, or anyone accociated with them. Birds of the same feather flock together. In that respect, if they know me well, then what anyone else says, means nothing. I just worry about those in my life who are always there for me. If you jump to conclusions without giving me a chance to defend myself, then they really were never my friend. So, I move on. Staying self sufficiant and happy while they waste their life worring about what everyone else is doing, will aggravate them. You will never know if you just ignore them. I don't like conflict, but I believe in comminication and seeing both sides. Showing empathy, and not giving up on someone, just because they made one lousey mistake. If they give me the same respect, then we will all conduct ourselves in a civilized manner. Like you are supposed too.
Don't worry about it but keep your guard up and do not give them an opening. some people will take action on their hatred. Keep away from them and make sure they cannot harm you. I mean not at all. DO NOT rely on making sure they can only harm you by harming themselves, for some people will do that to harm those they hate.
And keep looking happy when they are around, if you cannot avoid them. Make sure they hear all your good news. It will drive them crazy.
There is always a "reason" for someone's hatred. It may not be valid or reasonable or even "real". The point about hatred is that the person on the recieving end has to make a decision. The best and perhaps the hardest decision is to love the person in spite of it all. Never stoop to their level, with everything that is in you strive to treat the person with kindness.
Is it hard??? Yes, it is very hard. Can you always do it? No, you will falter and fail on occasion. But, I promise you, if you give it your best effort, ask God to help you, and ignore the negative advice from your friends, you will feel better in the end....
Nothing. You can't manage another persons thoughts. If they don't like you and have no reason to feel that away, they don't deserve a lot of time and attention. Worrying about what others think and feel will drive a happy person to depression.
I am of the opinion if someone "hates you for no reason", then there really is a reason they hate you. It indeed may be something you did or said or just your personality in general they can't stand. It's a lose-lose situation. It's best to avoid those people if possible and don't aggravate them.
No reason, you know about is most likely what you mean. People are particular beings sometimes and pick or chose friends like they were pieces of clothing by tossing out the old or leaving it to be neglected for long periods of time. Hate is a strong word, but chances are you have over stayed your present. Stay clear of them for a few days, it may not be what you think.
You just laugh and know that you will be okay. Then, you read this: http://markewbie.hubpages.com/hub/Why-A … t-11603823 and maybe even give them a copy of it.... lol
I am in agreement with several of our other esteemed hubbers who have answered this question most elegantly. Walk away.
Do not pander to reckless, reasonless hate. Understand and forgive, because undoubtedly the hatred that these people exhibit is a symptom of self-doubt. It is a common psychological trait of people (as has already been said) that they externalize their fears and insecurities by fixating on an external "source" of their distress. The power of denial is that it tempts people into believing that their own problems have a root cause outside of themselves. In reality, unhappiness is almost always self-inflicted.
To engage in conflict or to attempt to seek resolution through debate with somebody in the grips of such irrational emotional states is most times a fruitless and thankless task. The best one can do when confronted with such a person (who is using you as the scapegoat for their own self-inflicted pain) is to state clearly that you are not prepared to engage with someone who behaves like that and then walk away. In walking away and refusing to rise to the bait they are laying, you rob them of the emotional catharsis they are seeking. If they are left alone with it long enough, then maybe (just maybe) they may engage in enough self-reflection to realize that their issues are not with you, but with themselves.
This may be wishful thinking... but I prefer to believe that most people are capable of productive introspection if given the time and space to undertake it.
You can't control how people treat you, you can only control how you react. Don't be consumed with what other people think of you, work only on being a good person.
What I have found the older I get, is that sometimes someone who is really shy can come across as rude. Keep that in mind when meeting new people!
I simply ignore them. There is no point of defending yourself from people who hates you in the very first place. You should never spend your precious time in people who hates you for no reason at all.
If hadn't done anything wrong I will continue to be myself. No I will work even harder to be the best me I can be,
Its very akin to bullying. I have been and am at the nasty end of bullying,in the work place and neighbour -(on going).
Bullies often were the bullied,-maybe at school or at home by their elder brother or sister or parents,and are immature ,insecure cowards,and prey on innocent victims like a Dracula.
In UK ,law has created -ASBO's-Anti-social Behavoural Orders,and can be taken out against a bully,if they carry on with it they can go to prison.
Bullying is more common now than ever especially in the workplace..
The worst of all this is where small chidren get bullied at school, The child being bullied can have his or her whole future/life ruined because of bullying at school. Its obviouslly very important parents always be aware if their child is being bullied at school, Typical symptoms are sudden change in behaviour,deoression,overtiredness,and stomach upsets, and of course crying for no apparent reason,sometimes the poor child being bullied can be thought of by the parent as being naughty,when nothing could be further from the truth. Bullies being cowards, usually choose their moments cleverly ,and choose time to bully at any oppurtunity,usually when no one is around to witness it.
Firstly its very important to always keep a diary when bullying occurs detailing every thing that happened.
I have found its easy to take it personally when at the recieving end. But it helps to stand back and realise that the bully will bully anybody they will be allowed to,thats how they are,so if it wasn't you or I ,it will be someone else. Do not enter into an argument with them-that's what they want. Be as assertive as possible (not agressive) ,looking them in the eye,and tell them to back off.
Personally I pray for them. My Mother hates me and hasn't spoke to me in 17 years. I pray shell change before she dies.
You can give them a little gift to soft their hearth. Until you find out why they hate you. The fact is some individuals do not believe in God. No matter what you do for them. They are still are going to hate you. I will use myself as an example.I used to wear natural make up, and one day , I got insulted by another person, so I wear a lot of make up. One day I hear a girl saying that no matter how I look. She still did not lime me. And she said how much she hates me. I told her you can say that you hate me, but if you hurt me. I will take you to court. She used to be sweet, but inside her head, she had other feelings. I work with her. Then, I found out. She takes medication for her moods. I still super nice to her. Some people in tnis world,they are super sick. My advice to you. You need to Keep being nice.
Nothing... There is nothing you can do. People are going to think, feel, or say things always. All you can do is be yourself & love yourself. There's always going to be someone who don't like you. You can only be good & real to the ones who do. Most people like that have something they don't like about there self. You don't want a friend to back stab & hurt you. Someone who won't or don't know how to be a real friend.
The Spiritual life never changes. It may seem to take a different shape according to the books or scriptures that you read. Still essentially, you are trying to be anchored in Happiness; Love; Inner Peace or Equipoise (Harmony; Balance) This is the goal of the spiritual life, what some call Salvation, and which is essentially living in a continuous and irreversible God-conscious state.
Before all this, you will meet with necessary experiences, some which are so called good, and others which relate to the hate of which you speak.
What you do when being hated, would relate to how you feel, circumstances, upbringing and most importantly, where you are in your present evolution, your level of Consciousness. I can supply the basic tenants of Scripture, which you almost certainly know.
Basically hate affects you because you're not strong enough, you're insecure, not confident ...and the way to strength is through prayer, silent prayer, selfless service; meditation and an unflinching Faith and surrender to Something Higher. This requires, in my experience and according to the Seers, practice, practice, practice ...
Still, the life of inner progress is truly a slow, even if steady one, and you will only move according to the pace of your own inner yearning. In other words, how bad you wish for Freedom. The descent of the Higher Light (Grace) will guide you and be a great help. Much love.
If the person is important to me and I value the relationship, I will try to find out and if I can do something about it, I will. If the relationship is not really of value, I will just detach myself from these people. Usually, I try to be nice to people so I will be surprised if someone hates me. Maybe, dislike something I did is acceptable but hatred is such a strong word.
Good comment. What if it is your children that seem to hate you and want you out of their lives? What if you have always been a good and loving mom and they act selfish and uncaring? What if they stop talking to you and act like they don't care?
The Bible tells me to turn the other cheek. So, I try to be calm, polite, and helpful anyway. Either they come around or continue to look like a jerk for hating someone trying to be as kind as possible.
hmmm.. hating someone for no reason means may be kind of mental disorder or sociological allergy but the point is how to get rid of it. in my point of view you should show ur love and kindness to him/her, this will surely melt their heart.
The right thing to do: HATE
HAVE A PEACEFUL MIND AND HEART. It will disturb our mind and heart when we know that there are people who hate us. We ask ourselves why?, and we will find answers only to arrive to that question. Hold the peace coming from God (John 14:27).
ACCEPT THAT IT HAPPENS FOR A PURPOSE. Every circumstance in life has an accompanying purpose. God has a purpose and It will works for good (Romans 8:28).
THINK AND ACT WHAT IS RIGHT, NOT WRONG. Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good. The sinful nature of man will always find ways to destroy us and others. It will always think and act what is contrary to the principles of LOVE. Love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27). Love your enemies (Luke 6:35).
ENTRUST EVERYTHING TO GOD. Put everything in God's hand. God will take care of you and the people who hate you. (Psalm 25:1-2).
well....if u r conformed about it that people hate you for no reason you can do two things-
first is, just give them a reason and other thing is
if it's bcoz of you than you should admit it and start work on urself
bring your best out of youself ....and if its not your fault than plzzzz do continue with your own ....
the best way to make others love you than you have to start love urself first.....
Just try to understand what people wants from you and keep trying caring them one they they would leave hating you...
Be kind always.if you can't do that then just be neutral and indifferent but do not hate back.
Asking to yourself what your mistake to him/her and then asking them, why they hates me, if they're not have a reason. Simple, just say "No matter what you say, it's my life. You're not my mom, dad or something big for me. You hate me? Do i look cares?"
Ask them personally, in a calm way to avoid further misunderstanding. Don't ask us, because we are not the ones who hate you. (Just a friendly reminder) Hope this helps. Hater's gonna hate, you just have to kick it in the ass like we all need to do.
Examine yourself and explore maybe some possible reasons why some might avoid you. I doubt if they really hate you, but sometimes, some people make us feel like they do. Do you bathe? Brush your teeth? Do you over-stay a visit to a friend's home? Do you disagree with them on politics or religion and say so? I speak my mind, but some people get upset. I believe that if we don't stink, try not to have bad breath and respect other people's space and their viewpoints, there really isn't much of a reason to dislike you. If someone does a kind act, do you also do something nice for them? Might be awhile before you are able to repay the kindness, but a "taker" is never very popular. Some people just don't like someone because of the clothes they wear or the way their hair looks. That's pretty shallow. If that's the reason, you don't need them in your life.
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