How safe to do feel?

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   muslima61posted 15 years ago

   How safe do you feel?
   
   with so much violence in society today, every time we turn on the tv there is yet another story of violence either in the street or inside the home....
   
   Do you feel safe in your home, do you go out alone in the evenings.
   
   If not what do you do to reassure yourself, what preventative methods do you use?
   
   Is it just women that fear going out alone?

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      AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I feel very safe. I don't watch tv.

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         muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         thats really nice.... unfortunately where i am Manchester uk... it is not so nice....... i tend not to watch the news but then again living here one does not have to.... all you have to do is look outside, drunk abusive people on a regular basis....
         
         i definately dont go out alone day or night... just dont feel safe... the local store has been held up at gunpoint 3 times in the last 18 months.... another local store was smashed into and and the cashmachine taken...yep the whole cash machine...
         
         when i do have to go out i go in the car and lock the doors as soon as i am inside it.....

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I try to be vigilant. It's sad though - e.g New Years eve, I wanted to go to Trafalgar Square (London) where crowds gather and there are beautiful Fireworks but I didn't go cos I thought some Lunatic might throw something in the crowds.
      
      Maybe, I'm too paranoid....

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         muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         i dont think its paranoia its reality in many places and we have to feel safe..so if not participating is what you do then so be it .... just sad that society has gone this way

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         mistyhorizon2003posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         You did the right thing as usually anyone needing a pee in Trafalgar Square on New Year's Eve does it into a bottle and then throws the bottle as far as they can. The poor person at the end of where the bottle lands ends up covered in "you know what".
         Many lunatics out there!!!

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      double_frickposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      on the one hand i carry a knife with me when i go for walks with my kids. i don't like to go to the liquor store after dark.
      
      i think that the news sensationalizes a lot and scares people into being able to even offer a smile while passing by on the street. most people are terrified of strangers, especially in good ol sacramento. everyone looks scary here. LOL!!!! 
      
      but i think a lot of it is to force isolationism in society. and what a fabulous job it has done. plus with all the publicity criminals get it encourages others to do the same. i mean, why not, everyone else does?! and you can get famous. yee haw.
      
      i agree, stop watching television.  thats a really good step in the right direction. nothing  good on tv anyway. its called programming for a reason, and program it does. fear.
      
      but i have had similar experiences as you, muslimma61.
      there have been times with my kid in the stroller that i weave to one side of the street in back because a man in a car followed me.
      just outside a home depot a man stopped his car and got out yelling at me, in front of EVERYONE. luckily i got inside, i saw him on the news later for assaulting women. EFFING scary. 
      but staying scared isn't the answer. i need to go out. i need to take my kids to the park. its one thing to stay on guard and be safe and another thing to let the fear rule your life and keep you inside. 
      its okay to be afraid, everyone is, especially these days.
      but within reason, act through the fear. thats courage. and eventually the fear will become less of an issue when you realize the world isn't quite as scary as the television would have people believe.

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         muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         you are right i know ... what a sad world we live in though.... when all your surrounded with is weirdos.
         maybe the law should be tougher....
         
         i admit i resorted to carrying a knife at one point but then i decided whats the point in that i dont think i would have used it... even if i needed to .....
         
         There do seem to be areas that are more prone to violent behaviour i wonder why this is... is it because of housing estates...... i am not sure. but i do think society as a whole has a lot to do with it. Many of us do not have the support of a family network anymore, and i do believe that without that we are far more vulnerable.

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      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I think women certainly feel less safe then men.  Men are stronger.
      
      However the more I learn and study self defense the less I am intimidated and am ready, prepared, and on guard for any predator.
      
      We are responsible for own safety, that which is in our control.

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         probafixposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I like the spirit of yours
         
         i also think that women have to defense herself.
         
         because that`s the only way of feeling secure a bit only and not be scare too much.

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      Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      This thread is exactly why I Always Wear a Condom when going out alone!!!  You never know where other people have been!!

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   Denno66posted 15 years ago

   I live in Mid-Coast Maine; crime in my town is virtually non-existent. I actually feel very safe where I live. I walk my dog at 10:30-11:00 PM with absolutely no fear;a far cry from Springfield, Massachusetts where I used to live.

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      thats really nice .... i moved to my present address about 6 months ago and it is very different to where i use to live...
      i was close to london.we could walk through the park at 1.00am no problem, but here no way i dont even go out of the house alone. very very different!
      
      its a shame

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   Mishaposted 15 years ago

   Oh, I just shoot every moving thingy in sight. Absolutely safe

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      ooooooooooo cant do that i'd be arrested mind you i'd then be in a nice safe cell )

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      RedElfposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I think that's what they must have done up here. Very quiet! Small town - lovely to walk anytime. I have to worry more about frostbite than the neighbors - or the occasional large dog, but they are mostly friendly, too. They must have heard about Misha's remedy

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         muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESNT KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

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            muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            oooooooooops what a wombat hahaha yeah of course perhaps we can hire Misha !!

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      are you for hire )

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         skyfireposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Lol you didn't get his joke don't you ?

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            muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            ?

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   Cagsilposted 15 years ago

   I live in a suburb called Chicopee, which is 5 mile north of Springfield Mass, which is filled with crime. However, my neighborhood isn't crime filled and there isn't much as far as violent crimes around where I live.
   
   It seems that the only real criminals are the state official in office and most of the police in the department. These people only know how to sit on their a$$ and dictate rules or laws.

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      hmmm i definately live in the wrong area by the sound of it

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   theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

   I feel very safe, media hype, CSI Bananas, crime sells media, no crime sales down, hype, I feel real safe.....hello...whos there....is that you Ma...Ma is that you.....

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      hahahah

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   skyfireposted 15 years ago

   -10 swine flu cases last month
   -8 robberies in society which is just 500 meter from my apartment
   - regional/religious chaos in regular intervals
   
   Still i feel safe.. Chances of something bad happen is purely random so there is no point in thinking about it.

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Ha ha ha well i moved her 6 months ago caught swine flu within the first month..... got a load of racial abuse thrown at me from some really lovely top class drunken neighbours within 6 weeks of moving in .... and the store that got held up is less than 100 metres away from my home ........ think ill join the guy that shoots everything that moves
      
      
      hahahaha.... but seriously whats wrong with our society that people think this is ok?

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         skyfireposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         If we think seriously it's about population and limited resource that made people go berserk like that. Being non-religious makes me feel safe many times (but lol not during festival time, i feel bit paranoid when people look at me not taking part with them on that)..so have to pretend many times..

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            muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            i dont know about limited resource tooo many crazies out there... they either hate you cos of your colour, your faith, your gender, or just cos they dont like the look of you .... some just for the sheer sake of it so how do you win.......
            
            i still think there should be tougher laws for violent criminals.

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               AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Tougher laws make the punishment more severe AFTER the crime is committed. I am very skeptical that tougher laws act as a deterrent, on the whole. However, I am also convinced that the percentage of people actually willing to do another person physical harm is absolutely miniscule.

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                  muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  so its a case of anihilating the persistent offenders no seriously i dont know the solution, just thats its crap having to live somewhere you consider not safe.

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                     AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     I am sure Manchester is safe. My cousin has lived there for years, without incident (though she was almost in an IRA bomb attack once )

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                        muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        well it would be without the guns and the gangs

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   theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

   muslima61, I am now one of your followers so feel real safe, as long as I dont become a stalker.......John Boy who you talking down in that kitchen.......Its ok Ma its just a friend

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      OOOO OKKK THANK YOU theirishobserver........ now just be good or ill tell grandma )

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   theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

   John Boy who you talking too? Its ok Ma she is going now, Are you with a woman down there John Boy? No Ma its just a cute little kitty from next door...

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      OOOO DONT SOUND LIKE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE TO ME !!!!
      
      hahahahaha sounds a bit like psycho ooooooooooooooo

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   sannyasinmanposted 15 years ago

   Switch off the TV, stop watching the news, stop reading the newspapers, you'll feel much safer in no time at all.
   
   We live in a society where we are manipulated by the media to be kept in fear constantly, that way, we are easier to control.
   
   If you take the fear out of your mind, you take the fear out of your reality.

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      muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      what do you do if your fear is your reality..... ?

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I grew up near the northwest of England, where you live. I have also lived in London, and in fact in the so-called "seedy" parts of town. And I have lived here in Canada in a city of over three million. Trust me, the most dangerous thing out there is road traffic (and that is no small danger).

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            muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            i CAN believe that !

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    WriteAngledposted 15 years ago

    In the mid-1970s, I was a student in Bristol, UK. I was followed one night on my way home. He jumped on me when I was yards away from my house. I screamed, he hit me in the face and ran away. My housemates called the police. A bored policeman dropped in and said, "Well, he's had his thrill for the night, so that's OK". Ever since, I've been paranoid when alone in a street after dark.
    
    I've lived by intuition since then. For a time, I lived in Sheffield and worked in Nottingham. Returning from work one evening, I stood at the bus stop and a man said something to me. I ignored him. The bus came. I got on and asked for a ticket to the end of the line, where I lived. He came in after me and bought the same ticket. My danger-sensing antennae quivered. I was already going through my mind what to do, whether to go to the end of the route and then tell the bus driver my fears if that man was still on the bus. At the next stop, a mother of a child attending the same school as my daughters got on. I didn't really know her and usually I'm fairly reticent about approaching people. However, I called her over to sit next to me and engaged in conversation. The suspicious man got off at the stop after that...
    
    Many more times, my intuition has screamed out and I've ended up running all the way home or taking a different and longer route back.
    
    Even now, in a small peaceful village, if I return home late and have to park up the street away from my house, my stomach churns as I walk back to the house.
    
    When you've experienced an assault, taking note or not taking note of TV and newspapers makes no difference.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yess i absolutely agree with you.... ive had my share ... i was assaulted a few years ago ... you never feel the same afterwards and sometimes i think its natural instinct to have a certain amount of paranoia..... fight or flee ... for most of us fighting is not an option........ so we runnnnnnnn ... ive dont this many times...... probably for no good reason other than my fear.... but what is better, to face another attack or to panic for a few moments and be safe?

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    maguijoposted 15 years ago

    Hear hear. Sticking your head in the sand is no answer, but neither is curtailing your life because of fear. Take self-defense classes. Learn ways to present yourself as less of a target. Be smart. Always listen to your gut instinct about people & situations. Pay attention to the good things that happen, that you see and that other people do, so you have balance.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       i can see your point, but when you have experience some of lifes harsher realities it is very difficult to focus on the good initially..... i think we tend to check check and recheck ...
       
       i recently went to my local store ... i had to, no choice i had to buy groceries... when i was returning home i was followed by 3 men in their mid 20's .. i tried to stay calm but my footsteps got faster and by the time i had made it home i was a wreck i broke into tears.......
       
       i dont think they were there for anyother reason than walking in the same direction as myself .. but then you never know...

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    thisisoliposted 15 years ago

    i tend to go for safer areas to live.  I lived in a quite village, after that York City Centre, and have never felt out of place in either.
    
    I think it is important to feel safe where you live, and it really is a huge shame that some people feel it is tehir role to make the world a worse place.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yeah it is important to feel safe especially where you live. but if not .... well can always build an electric fence around the house and plug it into the national grid .... haha lets see em come through that!!

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    Alessia Amnesiaposted 15 years ago

    I stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper. I, too, have been a victim of an assault and am already agoraphobic enough without adding in extra paranoia.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ABSOLUTELY that is all the media does , i cant remember the last time i picked up a newspaper....

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    blondepoetposted 15 years ago

    I never go out at night without my capsicum spray and my 44"

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       to be honest if they were allowed in this country i probably would go out armed as well !!
       
       not much hope in doing self defense as i have a spinal injury. so ill just stay in my car and hope they leave me alone

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    mistyhorizon2003posted 15 years ago

    This thread is exactly why I wrote my hub on "Self Defence Gadgets Every Woman Should Carry". There are so many different types, stun guns, tasers, sprays etc, many very inexpensive. In this day and age there is no excuse for not carrying these yourself, or making sure your daughters do.
    
    Don't leave it until it is too late, these are the most tragic words in the English Language.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       this is a great idea, but unfortunately in this country of do.gooders if your found carrying certain things you get arrested and end up with a criminal record..... i have carried things in the past .... i suppose its a case of the lesser of 2 evils.... prosecution vs rape or death ......

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    sneakorocksolidposted 15 years ago

    It's a shame women have to be that careful but you do. The self defense gadjets are great and my wife carries hers but the best way to protect your self is be on your toes all the time.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       absolutely agree with you

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    wyanjenposted 15 years ago

    I worked in an "iffy" neighborhood, on the third shift (10PM-6AM). I would always go to a diner on my way home & grab breakfast. It was like Cheers - everybody knows your name
    I was always by myself but we were all a group of regulars.
    Anyway, a real creepy guy was in the diner one morning. One of the waitresses told me to watch out for him. I didn't think much about it until I left - and he followed me.
    I used the four right turns maneuver. If you think somebody is following you, make four right turns in a row. Since you just went in a complete circle, if you are still being followed, it is not a coincidence.
    
    Well, the freak was still behind me. So, I headed to the State Police post nearby. He maybe figured out what I was doing, because before I got there, he turned away.
    I didn't file a report because all I would have been able to say is, some freak in a four door sedan was following me. I couldn't describe anything else.
    
    I live exactly 12 miles south of the Detroit city limit. I don't hesitate to go where I want to, day or night, alone or not.
    Of course there is crime. But, I've seen more violent crime in my small town home-town than I ever have here.
    
    I have two rules:
    1.) You have to take care of yourself because if you sit back and wait for help, it won't come.
    2.) You are only a victim if you let yourself be.
    

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yess i agree that we have to take care of ourselves as much as possible,  but im afraid i cant agree with your second statement. no person wants to be assaulted or worse..... sometimes the crazies are just too close and there is nothing you can do.
       What we can do is not be a continuous victim after the fact....not perpetrator continue to victimize us, thats the hardest part.  I think and hope i have learned that much ...... once bitten NEVER AGAIN !!

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    rebekahELLEposted 15 years ago

    I feel safe where I live.  a woman's greatest tool is her intuition and learning to listen to it and trust it. it is ours to use and help us know what to do and is our built-in radar detector.

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       quite right and many times it works problem is it sometimes goes into overdrive !!

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    Bard of Elyposted 15 years ago

    I feel safe where I live, yes!

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       muslima61posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Happy to hear that Bard of Ely

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