Lack of Empathy

1. 88

   crankaliciousposted 4 years ago

   One of the things I dislike about myself the most is my lack of empathy.
   
   People I know are going through a lot more serious things than I am - like way more serious. Yet, I allow my petty problems to overwhelm my psyche. Other problems should be able to put my relatively small issues into perspective, but it really doesn't.
   
   We sold our house and moved and it's very stressful. I have a friend who just had a stroke and another who has stage 4 cancer. You'd think I'd say to myself - put it into perspective! But I can't. Never been able to.
   
   So many people seem far less self-centered than this. Character fault? Anyone with this found anything to do that helps them be a better person?

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   1. 87

      MizBejabbersposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      This is just a normal thing for some people. I am a very empathetic person, almost an empath. My husband, however, has admitted to me that he can't put himself into another's place and know what that might feel like. I'm not sure which of us is the better off.
      But to his credit, he doesn't look at a homeless person and believe that it was the person's own fault, like some people who lack empathy.
      I think that just understanding another's situation is a form of empathy. I'm not sure of what you mean when you say that you can't put it into perspective. That sounds like you are trying to make a comparison, not be empathetic. You've never had cancer, so you don't know how that person feels. If you knew how you would feel if you or your loved one had cancer, that is empathy. Perhaps you have it and don't know it. It depends on your definition of "empathy".

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      1. 88

         crankaliciousposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         An inability to put my problems into perspective. By most accounts, I have no problems. By any objective account, my "problems" are insignificant. It's an inability to realize that fact that bothers me. I have decompressed a bit since I wrote this original post, however.

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2. 97

   theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

   No, there's nothing wrong with your character. We are all at the centre of our own universe. We all experience stresses and struggles. I get strung out if the washing machine breaks down - it's normal. I bet if you were called upon to be supportive to someone close, you would do it. You would do anything you had to do and be glad to do it.
   
   Also, you can't get into negative situations with other people. What I mean is if someone you know is suffering, the best thing you can do is to maintain your equilibrium. You getting sad with them, doesn't help them. You can be kind and generous without feeling/sharing their emotions.

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3. 70

   Isivwe Muoboposted 4 years ago

   I think the very fact you are aware these other problems are more serious than yours shows you are empathetic.
   
   However, like theraggededge already said, we all are at the center of our own worlds and our problems will seem and feel more pressing to us.
   
   I would just reach out to your friends though and be there for them (even just a little) in this time of pain, this should balance things out.

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4. 95

   Glenis Rixposted 4 years ago

   I am very empathetic and am irritated when others aren't, because I perceive them as lacking compassion in a world where care for others seems to be in short supply. Mindful meditation is an excellent way to learn to connect with fellow humans.

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