Being able to control a mental illness?

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   LarasMamaposted 14 years ago

   My mother has had bipolar disorder for twenty years.
   As a homeschooled child I spent more time with her than anyone else during my formative years. My belief is that she could control her mania when she wished to. I'd see her do it in front of people she wanted to impress, acting completely normal in front of, for instance, a psychiatrist. I believe that to her the mania was like a drug - she enjoyed it because she could think faster, talk faster and remember more. This was one of the reasons I chose not to have her in my life anymore - she cost everyone around her lots of money, time and emotion without even a sorry. She went off her meds every chance she could.
   Are there any other family members who would agree with this or have similar experiences? And if you want more background I've written a hub on my experiences with my mum...

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   1. 61

      brenren57posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe she never said sorry because she was never normal enough to do so. Or it may have been a character defect. I'm often manic, but never enjoyed it - hypomania yes - but not full-blown mania. It's too out-of-control, and I always feel so miserable and worthless when I come out of it because I know I've caused alot of problems for other people. I always take my medicine, even though it doesn't always work.
      
      I, too, homeschooled a child, my step-son. He was least surprised of anyone when I was finally diagnosed as bipolar. Yet he of all my children -step and biological - is closest to me now. And I was really rough on him, too. If I had known I was bipolar I never would have tried to homescool him. Was it known beforehand that your mom had this mental illness? If so, she never should have been allowed to homeschool you.

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   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   It is really tough and I know first hand how it can affect someone and the people who them. I was in my own world and I thought everyone around me was nutsbut, it was me. Now I take my meds and the people I love have threatened to hurt if I stop.

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