Stay, Quit, or Get Fired? What would you do?
- pgrundyposted 16 years ago
0Thanks Shirley. I read your hub on work stress--it's excellent. I think I've reached the burnout phase at the bank. I have an interview tomorrow for a paper shuffling job at a mortgage company--I was shocked at how quickly they responded to my resume. I also sent a few others out--one to a pet shop as a dog trainer!
I think the hardest thing is realizing it's time to take action and then actually doing it.
Now if I can just get them to fire me for $50K....
lol....ah yes, find out how Misha did it!
I'm happy for you, and I have a good feeling about your interview. Let us know how it goes, okay?
I picked "get fired" when I was faced with a similar choice
- pgrundyposted 16 years ago0
Whew-- well there I am being pushy and opinionated--but it is only because I like and respect you so I hope you don't mind..... get yourself fired, quit, or whatever--but get out of there ASAP. Much better things are waiting for you on the other side of your fear >>>
LOL! I worry about being pushy even with loved ones, but I also like and respect Pam, and I am glad you are encouraging her loudly to get out ASAP!
- RFoxposted 16 years ago0
For pgrundy:
Your situation truly sux and I feel for you all across the border.
In order to be properly diagnosed with the genetic disorder that I have it took decades and almost every obscure test around. They had to rule out so many other illnesses. On top of that I have a major soy allergy that has hospitalized me in the past on a couple of occasions.
Lucky for me I was born in Australia and now live in Canada. Two countries that believe health care is a basic right and should be free for everyone!
I can't imagine the debt I would be in if I was in the States. It would be catastrophic!
So I can understand the fear about leaving a job that pays benefits, however, to be blunt.....if you die from stress you are dead and gone. There are no do-overs.
Money is just money and there are many ways around debt and debt management.
A radical change for your life is in order! Your ER stay was your universal wake up call pgrundy.
It is scary to radically change ones life but if it's a choice between a radical change and the end of ones life...well...that's not much of a decision. Your body is yelling at you right now to slow down. You should listen.
If I were in your shoes I would sell everything I can....including my house (if I owned one). Downsize and simplify. Ruthlessly cut all expenses and look to make your life as simple financially as you can. Your health is the most important thing in your life! Nothing else matters.
The reality is right now you should be resting! Not working or looking for work.....but resting. (In quiet contemplation sometimes the creative answers to our problems can be found.)
Also, ask the people in your life who love and care about you for help in this. One of the most difficult things it seems to do nowadays is ask for help. I struggled with this for years, as many do. But most people genuinely enjoy helping (especially loved ones) in a crisis. For your family and friends having you in their life is more important than anything else. Lean on them for support and sometimes surprising things can happen.
Above all....please take care of yourself and remember that life can change so quickly if you choose to change it. - RFoxposted 16 years ago0
Also, if you have the legal ability to move across the border to Canada and gain permanent residency you should do it. Imagine never having to worry about paying for your health care ever again!
It's really not that hard to immigrate here if you have a university education. Look at all your options for life improvement (even the wild and crazy ones cause sometimes they can become a reality.)
It's crazy that you don't have access to free health care. A healthy society is a productive society. I do believe that the US is the only developed nation that doesn't have free health care for it's citizens.
With all the influential people down there, why is this so?
- pgrundyposted 16 years ago0
Yipppeeeee! not going back to the bank < I'm jumping up and down with joy> Good for you pg. I am soooooo pleased and I just know you are going to be fine. Great new job comin along--I can feel it
As for our broken healthcare system-- it 's simple-- in America healthcare is a business and people are profit centers, not people. It's all about the bottom line not about good health. As long as the insurance companies and big Pharma control it we are screwed.
Thanks for asking Shirley!
I am feeling calmer and more hopeful. I will feel even better when I know I have another job and tell 1) my old bank job and 2) my family.
The follow up doctor's appointment was truly awful. The doctor seemed unconcerned with my ideas about what might be wrong and completely disinterested in my hospital stay or my health history. He felt my neck and back (a few too many times if you ask me), told me he loves the movie "Office Space", then wrote me a prescription for Klonopin, which it turns out is a powerful muscle relaxant and sedative and the #1 most abused drug in the US. (The pharmacist clued me in on all that, plus I researched it when I got home.) He characterized the drug as harmless, mild, and non-addictive--something that will help me not to get stressed at the bank job. I took one when I got home and passed out on the floor while playing with the dog---not passed out as in fainted, just, you know, conked out--the pills are that strong. Also I'm not supposed to drive on them. So I wonder how this helps me at the bank? What an idiot.
I know you may think this is extreme, but I consider myself on my own when it comes to my health. Doctors in this system are not only horrendously expensive and ineffective, lots of them are just idiots. You know the nerds who couldn't get a date in high school and inspected their own boogers in public? They became doctors, all of them.
I mean true, I'm certainly not 1) having a heart attack or 2) stressed out when I'm 3) unconscious on our living room floor, but is this really helpful to me? It is not. Its about what I expected though. I am already on a weight loss/exercise program of my own making, and off to buy supplements recommended here as soon as I get paid.
Another interview this morning though. Wheeeee! I hope I get this one.
- RFoxposted 16 years ago0
Great to hear things are happening so fast and great decision to quit your other job!
My fingers and toes are crossed for you. Thank you for the compliment! It's crazy that you had to pay for two pregnancies on your own. It makes me mad that this country is in the state it is in. It makes me want to do something about it, but I don't know what. I write to my congresspeople, but sometimes I think they don't even care what we think. They're supposed to care, but where's our health insurance if they care? It isn't even on the horizon. Hang in there!
Shirley, thanks for asking! I was offered the merchandising job and was very happy and excited. When my partner got home last night I told him about it, and he completely freaked out. We had a huge fight. The job has no health insurance with it. I was all set to take the job--I was a merchandiser for 7 years when my kids were small. I set my own schedule, moved around a lot, met lots of nice people, and it couldn't be more low stress---I take down the old magazines, put up the new ones, go home, in as many accounts as I want to do it for. This job starts with two good sized accounts, but new ones come open all the time, so pretty much you can work as little or as much as you want.
So today I am dragging my miserable ass into the bank. Maybe I will get lucky and they will fire me. My partner and I have very different perspectives on health insurance. I feel like its worthless, he's terrified I'll drop dead if I don't have it. That's it in a nutshell.
God I'm tired.
I second Bonnie.
I third Bonnie.
I would also like to say that if your partner is so worried about health insurance then he should find a job that provides it for you both.
Your job is obviously detrimental to your health and you need to move on. Period.
I hope this doesn't upset you. I'm only worried about your well being. This other job sounds fantastic for you!
This is difficult, if you had taken the job that you liked you would have had stress at home, and right now, you need peace. Your partner is simply concerned for you and means well as in his mind he probably feels having health insurance is protecting you, but staying in your job is not the best choice for your health. If you are 55, don't you qualify for early retirement with health insurance? With the bank I worked, we do. I am asking for my pension when I turn 55. Perhaps being semi-retired and supplementing your income through your writing may be a solution for you?. Don't know your exact situation, so I may not be making practical suggestions, but I wish you the best of both worlds, nice income, no stress and good health insurance.
That is an intriguing idea! I never thought of that. The bank I work for doesn't offer pensions anymore--hasn't for several years. But I do have a small pension from the insurance company I worked for before the bank. I'm going to look over how early I can draw on that and whether that would qualify me for insurance of any kind. That's at least worth looking into.
I think my partner is worried about my health and having no way to take care of it. He is an articulate kind person, but he's Italian. His whole family is like this. Something happens and they all start talking very loudly all at once, over each other, and the loudest one gets heard. Right now they are all full of opinions about it, including him, and it's making me nuts, but I know its because they care and are worried, not because they care about how much money I make. Bill wouldn't care if I worked at MacDonald's, he just doesn't want me to keel over and be refused treatment. There's a hospital here that has to treat you up to a point--that point is the point you can be shoved out the door--but specialists won't see you unless you have insurance coverage and put cash up front. I don't know if you realize this, but it is legal to refuse care here based on inability to pay.
I appreciate all your concern very much--I will be out of that bank within the week, just you watch. And I'll have insurance. And I'll be sure to leave a big stinky fart on my way out.That is an intriguing idea! I never thought of that. The bank I work for doesn't offer pensions anymore--hasn't for several years. >>>
All banks have the same rules, I think... I havent' been in banking for 7 years, so I am out of touch, but I do know that after 5 years of service every bank employee gets vested, so you will get something out of your early retirement with your bank. If not, then that's awful! I was forced into a very early retirement at 46, and I have my Early Retirement Survivors Benefits, but in my case it's different as I was approved for this because I have a hearing problem and it was during the aftermath of the 9/11 situation in NY, which meant there were NO jobs at the time, and much less for someone with a hearing problem. I even agreed to be interviewed by the New York Times where I was profiled as hearing impaired woman with a good work experience looking for work, and out of the milliions that read about me, I received by email only 2 jobs offers that were not for me, some comments thanking me for being honest, and two date proposals. LOL! I was surprised I was approved as I worked non stop for 28 years and used to manage 3 small depts , but I got lucky. Point being, there can be other options for you. I certainly never thought I would use this, but I am grateful I have my good health insurance, plus my benefits, and I earn income with my business to supplement the decrease in yearly income.
<<< I appreciate all your concern very much--I will be out of that bank within the week, just you watch. And I'll have insurance. And I'll be sure to leave a big stinky fart on my way out.
I can see how much you "love" where you work. LOL!!!
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