Please help!! Desperate!!

1. 79

   blondeyposted 13 years ago

   I have a friend who entered the mental health system at a young age and lived in group homes which were like a family until age 20 when this person wanted to live life on their own. After 14 years, and living alone in an apt far from anyone she knows, for 3 yrs, she is desperate.
   
   Why? She is afraid to live alone. Her family is not suitable. But the system will not give her a group home back.  She's been to the hospital and respite 5x in a year. She is frightened to be alone and gets depressed and doesn't go out. And she doesn't know her neighbors and has social anxiety.
   
   Main point----IF YOU KNOW OF ANY WAY TO HELP HER GET BACK INTO A GROUP HOME FOR MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE, HOW TO DO IT, PLEASE TELL ME.  THEN, If she for some reason starts to feel better, by the time she gets the opportunity to move into a group home, she can decide which is better- to stay in her apt or move into the group home. Oh she is on the list for Section 8, so if that comes first all the better, she can live in a town near her friends.
   
   If you can be of any help, please do. She does not want to be in respites or hospitals unneccarily.  Thankyou.

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   1. 71

      Elefanzaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm not sure how to get your friend back into the mental health group home. It seems like it would be difficult to get her back though if she isn't certain she would stay. That factor might not help the situation, unfortunately.
      
      I'm wondering if there are other alternatives that might work better that would fit the reasons why she left in the first place. Instead of living completely alone, is it possible to find someone who also wants to leave the group home as well and maybe will live with her? Is everyone satisfied with staying in that group home? How many group homes are there? If there were a network, maybe you find other people in the same situation?
      
      You also mention that she doesn't know her neighborhood very well. Online towns usually have a listing of activities and ways to get involved in newspapers. Would she be interested in going to some of the events in her town if you or a friend went with her a few times? Would this help her overcome social anxiety? Is there some activity or hobby she likes that her community offers?
      
      Also, physical activity like walking helps relieve the mind of stress. I mention this because you say she's inside all day. Also, I think some scientific studies say that going outside and looking at nature and trees puts the mind in a more positive state. Although now might not be the best time to go outside per se, visiting places with flowers and trees is very peaceful and it is said that this helps a lot. But maybe that's something else she could do with friends?
      
      This sounds like a very hard situation and I'm sorry your friend is going through such pain. Loneliness is very hard to deal with on a day to day basis. I know my mom struggled with a similar situation of being alone and being a widow in a neighborhood where she was always alone when she came home (and her job doesn't encourage much contact). She just joined a lot of groups that fit around her interests to cope, but it was still hard.
      
      Best of luck in helping your friend! Hope she finds a better situation!

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