Reflection~

I choose to live a powerful and inspiring life~

Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction. This Lenten season, I’ve made some conscious assessment of myself, the relationship I had with my family and friends, career, work and all that matters in life-my life, our life.

In the previous years, whenever I open my book, I see myself opening the same page, staring at the old pictures. I see the pain, sufferings, frustrations and desperations, the shadows of the past. It always felt out of sync. I was completely burnt out. I felt like there was nothing left for me to do that I was too close to giving it all up. For instance, I wanted a perfect family but maybe I should stop trying. I was restless, hungry and thirsty but a kind of neither food nor water could ever fill nor quench.

"Heaven lent you a soul, Earth will lend a grave." ~Christian Nestell Bovee

And then there were unexpected moments, change happened. It seems that the Universe was listening to my prayers. Did I finally see the lights? I opened my book and saw all the good times. Lots of them, for as long as I can remember. Plenty of happy moments that will never wear out my memory. I see the life that I have envisioned, abundant, full of joy and promises, surrounded by my family and friends (old and new). The acceptance and realization that this family I have is real-with imperfections but could I go to bed, a contented woman?

Ahh, friends, no I have not forgotten you all. I only chose my temporary solitude (for the sake of sanity) and I am forever grateful that you have respected me for that and listened to my silence.

You have no idea what I have gone through and what I am going through but thank you for your kindness; well-felt kindness in words and in deeds.

I am normally a quick learner but for some reasons, it took me some time to pick up the pieces this time. I simply had a heavy weariness clinging to me as I kept my silence. But I did, it took a lot of patience and courage but I rose. More often than not, it is when we are not happy, feeling hopeless, drained, upset, unfocused, and in pain that we look for answers without even knowing what is the question. Then unknowingly, we silently and fervently pray, look for resurrection and seek some lights.

“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed everyday.’ – 2 Corinthians 4:16

"My power flurries through the air into the ground. My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around and one thought crystallizes like an icy blast. I'm never going back, the past is in the past. ~ from the lyrics of the song, Let it Go by DEMI LOVATO

In psychology, one of the most important findings in its study is that as individuals, we can choose the way we think. Now, ‘Am I thinking spiritually here or simply just human in darkness, hurting and feeling helpless?

As it emerged, I fasted this lent with a hope in mind that I will be feasting on Easter-a joyous feast. I know that Easter will bring new hopes. I put my trust to the Divine Providence and it gave me inward grace. Pain can be a good thing. I still don’t understand how exactly, but I believed that God designed it that way. Another hypothetical question but I didn’t focus much on it, instead I asked for help. If you do, you’re certain to get it and perhaps, get the answers to the questions. We are apt to learn from pain than from pleasure. I personally stopped worrying and complaining and instead focused on gratitude. I released those negative thoughts and anger, faced the truth and feasted on uplifting thoughts.

"Get over it" is easier said than done but I've learned to let go. "By letting go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” -Lao Tzu. So, let it go!

It is still lent but I started de-cluttering mentally and as spring comes to life, I am refreshed and renewed with high hopes that life will be better. It will only get better. I am a lot wiser and stronger and nothing in life can defeat me (at least, I tell myself).

One of my favorite authors was the late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale and if I may quote from his book The Power of Positive Thinking: "Fill your mind with thoughts of faith, confidence and security. This will force out or expel all thoughts of doubt, all lack of confidence."

Now a days, there’s a hundred great books out there on inspirations and motivations that teaches us the power of positive thinking but it all sum up to the following suggestions to build up confidence:

1. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, cancel it immediately and deliberately. Replace sad thoughts with happy thoughts. Ugly ones with beautiful ones.

2. Picture a successful you in your mind and hold onto it. NO matter how bad your current situation is, picture success in your mind. It will eventually happen.

3. Eliminate any obstacles in your head. Do not fear them, face them.

4. Keep your originality. Be you. Do not get intimidated by others. Do not waste your time trying to be someone else. Be confident. If they can do it, you can too.

5. Believe in your own ability and keep your self-respect. Believe in your own powers. Be affirmative of your acts (without hurting or aggravating other people) and then say, YES you can!

And remember, if God be for us, who can be against us?

Copyright@CrisSp~TM/04/05/12. Read me: "The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~