15 Thoughts While Decorating the Christmas Tree

Decorating the Christmas tree is a time-honored tradition that few of us can escape from each year. Even if you manage to convince someone at your home to decorate the tree in your absence, chances are, you will get suckered into it at work or at somebody else's house. You may as well just accept your fate and decorate the Christmas tree.

No matter what type of tree you have, whether big or small, artificial or live, we all go through certain steps while decorating it. The inner dialog you have going on in your head is often more entertaining than the Christmas tree will ever be. Let's list 15 thoughts that might cross your mind while decorating the tree this year.

1. This year I am going to have the best Christmas tree ever. I am going to put it in the front window so all the neighbors can see its beauty. I am going to put one of those pine air freshener ornaments on it so everyone believes my Christmas tree is real this year. I will fool them all!

2. OK, well there just isn't enough room for this tree. I can't put it in the front window because then the real plants won't get light. I can't put the tree in the kitchen because the pets will be able to attack it easier. Guess it is going into the corner again like usual. Oh well. It will still be a great tree.

3. How is it possible that we have 10 strings of lights and not a single string matches the other? Orange lights? Why do we have orange lights? Are these Halloween lights? Would anyone really notice? Don't think so.

4. These instructions are so ridiculous. A maximum of 3 strings of lights plugged in together? Forget about it. I am going for the gold. I need at least 5 or 6 plugged together...

5. Whew. I am glad that breaker box is in a convenient location. Guess I will stick to the instructions after all.

6. So where are all the ornaments? How come I can only find one small box of ornaments? Oh yeah. The others are in the attic. I hate the attic. I am only going to use what I found in the closet. Maybe I will buy some new stuff at Target. But can I really afford so many new ornaments?

7. Sigh. OK, this attic is not so bad after all. Why is nothing labelled correctly in here? Is this old Valentine's Day stuff?

8. Back on track now. These ornaments are great. Oh wait, is that the garland on the bottom of the box? I was supposed to do that before the ornaments. Maybe I can work around them...

9. Alright, these ornaments will look so much better when I put them on the tree the second time around anyway. Oops. Except for the one I just dropped.

10. This garland is done and now back to ornaments. Ouch, I just stepped on one.

11. I think I should ask for a new vacuum for Christmas. This one is full of broken ornament pieces now. I think I should also wear shoes while decorating the tree next time.

12. Now I just need to put the star on top of the tree. Oh wait, I think that broke last year. So now, I guess I don't have a star for the tree. Do I have an angel? I don't have anything for the top of the tree?

13. Alright, this large ornament no one ever uses will work perfectly. It sort of looks likes a star anyway. It just doesn't quite fit right. It only has a hook, but I need it to sit on the top branch. I will have to improvise.

14. Yes! Duct tape really does fix everything. Silver glitter duct tape - a classy look if I must say so myself.

15. A-ha! At last, this Christmas tree is finally finished! I am so relieved this isn't in the front window after all. It may not be the best looking tree I've ever seen, but hey, there is always next year. Merry Christmas!

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