How do couples celebrate Christmastime with Life Changes?

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   Lady Guinevereposted 10 years ago

   How do couples celebrate Christmastime with Life Changes?
   
   I was wondering this for this year.  My father passed away at Memorial Day and we used to go there to celebrate Thanksgiving and Chrsitmas.  Mom doesn't want anyone there.  My children and Grandchildren are not in the area and now it is just the two of us.  My husband's parent are gone too and his siblings are also doing their own thing. This is all new to me.  How does one cope with all these kinds of changes and how do we celebrate the season?

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2. 56

   DJ Andersonposted 10 years ago

   Debra, this is an excellent question.  If there is one thing we can count on, it is that nothing will remain the same.  Most of the traditions that were celebrated for years have come to an end with the children being grown and living far away.  My husband and I take the dog for a ride to look at lighted Christmas decorations.  The dog is not real impressed, but we enjoy it.
   I would recommend that the two of you talk about starting a new tradition.
   One year, we were financially able to buy toys for a family who were having
   great financial difficulties.  I only wish that we could have seen the children on Christmas morning.  You can bake your wonderful breads and give them as gifts to neighbors.  Or, put on a red Santa hat and go to a nursing home and ask them to tell you about their favorite past Christmas.  I can guarantee that your heart will be over flowing with joy when you walk away.  The big secret is.....there is amazing joy in giving. 
   Another year, we filled two car trunks with supplies for a no kill animal shelter, and gave Christmas cookies to the workers.  We did call and ask what they needed.  These are the memories that will stay with you for a lifetime.
   You are creative.  I'll bet you can come up with some great ways to bring joy to someone this Christmas.
   May I be the first to say...Merry Christmas to you and your husband!
   DJ.

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      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you DJ.  That idea about the No-Kill Animal shelter sound very good to me.  You have a Very Merry Christmas too.

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   Jo Harleyposted 10 years ago

   My husband and I both have been through a lot. We've got this agreement to just do what makes us happy. We don’t do anything in December. We treat it like any other month. We treat ourselves in other ways. As long as we're happy is what's most important. This is our way of letting go and moving on allowing time and our love to heal ourselves and each other.

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   1. 69

      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer.  Sounds good to me.

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   MizBejabbersposted 10 years ago

   My husband, a Cherokee, practices Shamanism, so he never did like to go through the motions of putting up a Christmas tree. With all the changes in our lives, I've lost interest in decorating for Christmas, too. He loves to cook, so he was happy to feed our family at Christmas, but that's all gone now with children grown and living far away and parents dead. Now we are down to 5 people, including one son still here. Christmas doesn't mean celebration to us anymore, so we have a quiet family dinner with just the five of us, usually on Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas day we all do whatever we want. We tried going to movies one Christmas Day, but it was too crowded to enjoy, so we usually just rest.
   This year the Shaman has already kicked in and bought presents for the men in our family. I guess I'll buy for the niece. Since we don't put up a tree anymore, we won't be amused watching cats climb the tree and bat ornaments around the house. I don't care how hard you try, it just isn't the same anymore.

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      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, we have a cat the loved to climb the Christmas tree.  We have not had a tree up for years.  We decoreat just the mantel now, but mostly that is all.  You are right, it just isn't the same.  I think that I will get a ham cuz we R tired of Turkey.

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   Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years ago

   I would LOVE to celebrate Christmas by going on a week-long snowboarding safari!  I keep trying to talk my brother into it, but he won't.  He hates Christmas because of his messy divorce, and his current wife insists on being traditional about it.  Maybe she'll come around someday, since she has no kids of her own.

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   1. 69

      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      When I divorced that was when Christmas stopped for the most part for me.  Then when the kids moved away, that was 90% of the end for me of celebrating. It is true, Christmas is for Children.

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