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  1. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    http://s3.hubimg.com/u/5921206_f248.jpg

    What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
    Claustrophobic.



    Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
    So he can ho-ho-ho.



    Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
    Because he had low elf esteem.



    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    Frostbite.



    What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Snowflakes.



    What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
    Sandy Claws.



    What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
    Ribbon hood.



    There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
    He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
    wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
    and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even
    looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It
    must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the
    Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"



    T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air.



    Did you know that according to the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", Santa has twelve reindeer? Sure, in the introduction it goes "There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..." That makes eight reindeer. Then there's Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine. Then there's Olive. You know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh..." That makes ten. The eleventh is Howe. You know, "Then Howe the reindeer loved him..." Eleven reindeer. Oh, and number 12? That's Andy! "Andy shouted out with glee." The proof is in the song!
    Originally Contributed by: unknown...We were reminded about Andy by Paul Grupe!



    -Knock knock
    *Who's there?
    -Mary!
    *Mary who?
    -Merry Christmas
    Contributed by: Evelien from Belgium



    Knock, knock
    Who's there?
    Chris!
    Chris who?
    Christmas!!!!
    Contributed by: John Barkovich



    Q: What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
    A: A puddle!

    Q: Where do reindeer go to dance?
    A: Christmas balls!

    Q: If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire,what would they name their child?
    A: Frostbite!!
    Contributed by: Cassie Hauser



    Q: What's red, white and blue at Christmas time?
    A: A sad candy cane!
    Contributed by: Laura Sylvester


    Q: What did Mary Poppins want from Santa?
    A: Supercalifragilisticexpialisnowshoes!
    Contributed by: Jemima


    Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
    A: A mince spy!
    Contributed by: Tara Wade


    It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
    Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
    Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
    "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
    Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
    Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
    Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
    "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

    1. Cagsil profile image81
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol

      Thank you Kimberly for the laughs. smile

    2. Daniella Lopez profile image94
      Daniella Lopezposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hehe... thanks for the giggles. big_smile

  2. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    bet you can't do worse than that ! lol

    1. bbnix profile image58
      bbnixposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I'll take that bet...


      http://s1.hubimg.com/u/5921804_f248.jpg


      http://s3.hubimg.com/u/5921810_f248.jpg


      http://s2.hubimg.com/u/5921813_f248.jpg

      roll

  3. habee profile image93
    habeeposted 6 years ago

    Kimbo, I hope Santa is good to you this year!

    1. profile image0
      kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I jst hope he's making better electronics lol

  4. profile image0
    klarawieckposted 6 years ago

    I loved the weeweechu joke. It reminded me of the spanish version of the national anthem. It's "jose, can't you see?"

  5. manlypoetryman profile image75
    manlypoetrymanposted 6 years ago

    By God....those were funny! Had to pull myself back-up off the floor...after the last one. Want to "weechu" a Merry Christmas, KL...thanks for the laffs! lol

  6. MickeySr profile image82
    MickeySrposted 6 years ago

    Jesus, the Good Shepherd, loves all of His flock - but, how does He specifically wish Mary a happy holiday?


    . . . "Merry Christmas to ewe".

    1. profile image0
      kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol

  7. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    I heard  Santa is low on elves this year so he has had to buy most the gifts from e bay, he didn't know he had to bid and came up dry

    I'm pissed yikes

  8. Sunshine625 profile image94
    Sunshine625posted 6 years ago

    Thanks for the humor kimberly!! smile

  9. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    http://s3.hubimg.com/u/5921206_f248.jpg

  10. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    http://s4.hubimg.com/u/5922099.jpg

  11. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 6 years ago

    http://s4.hubimg.com/u/5921135.jpg

    1. Hollie Thomas profile image60
      Hollie Thomasposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Just checked my e-mails. You've made me chuckle again. lol

    2. Hollie Thomas profile image60
      Hollie Thomasposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Bless you, Kimberley. smile

 
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