Random Poetry, Poems, & Verse About Looking at Life From My Random Mind - Reflections of Me and Who I am
Reflection
Alone at the precipice
The wind blows cold
I'm looking down from above
On my weary heart
And ragged soul
Knowing the truths
Did they come to late?
Will I find that deceit
Who am I now?
Who was I then?
If I don't know now,
Will I know in the end?
Questions
Will anyone notice
When I'm not around?
Does it make a sound?
Can you love someone
Give all that you've got,
Still never finding
The love that you sought?
What do you do
When everything isn't enough?
Do you throw in the towel
Because the going got tough?
When you know in your heart
You love someone more than they love you,
Ignoring the truth?
Should you allow yourself to settle
Into something less?
Come to believe
You deserve less than the best?
Do you fade into the shadows
Until you cannot be found?
Still wondering if a breaking heart
Actually makes a sound?
Staying your course,
Knowing where you're bound,
Wondering all the time who will notice,
When I'm not around?
Because
It awakens again
That searing pain,
To singe my heart
With burning flame.
It came tonight
To steal my dreams,
Reminding me
Nothings is ever as it seems.
With its razor tongue
Piercing talons and claws,
Ripping away at the peace
It's only reason because.
Because,
I forgot the lesson,
This is the reason my sanity
Now dangles from this precarious rope.
Because,
Wanted so much to believe,
I am getting this slap in the face
I so very much deserve to receive.
For the countless times
I just didn't learn
I've so painstakingly have earned.
It came again tonight
Damaging half
So that I am not whole.
Disposable
I've grown tired of being
The disposable one,
So carelessly discarded
Pushed off to the side,
For everyone's sake
Ignoring the pain that I hide.
I've grown weary
Beneath my smile
Of total indifference
Of the games people play,
Of looking for self-worth
In the words they don't say.
I've exhausted my spirit
Giving until I am empty
Yet somehow giving again,
They take more than I offer
While I wait for life to begin
I've depleted my soul
And my courage,
My now tattered heart,
Desperate for this family
Of which I'll never be a part.
I've worn out my faith
On this cross that I bear,
Sacrificing all that I have
All that was me,
Upon the altar of a dream
That just never could be.
Never Again
I've been here before
Though I've said, "never again."
My heart and my soul
Are jagged and torn,
My faith and ideals,
Are threadbare and worn.
There is no one who sees me
Out here in the dark,
There's no one who knows
The pain that I hide.
The days and the years
The tears that I cry.
Betrayal after betrayal,
When is enough truly enough?
Who will it be?
The one who decides,
Will it be you?
Or will it be me?
A Declaration Of Self
Who was I back then?
Are they the same
From beginning to end?
Are they two separate beings
One innocent, one jaded,
By promises broken
Illusions now faded?
And what of you?
Faith and loyalty you swore,
When your honor is tested
You slide out the back door.
If it is true that I've changed
How dare you despair
At my life rearranged?
What gives you the right
To throw up your hands
Now that i will no longer
Jump to your commands?
Why is it now
You seem to find me so crucial
When you've said all along our allegiance
Was purely superficial?
Why do you believe
You can sit in judgement of me
When the weight of your own sin
Leaves you unable to see?
The venom you spew
Taints everything in your life,
So I ask you again,
What gives you the right?
I am who I am
Different of the same,
I've found my own voice,
I won't be part of your game!
I'll live my own life
By the rules that I've set,
By the things I believe,
Principles I cannot forget.
I will not apologize
For the things that are real,
For honor or for truth,
For the things that I feel.
For my understanding
Of things both wrong and right,
For ways that I've changed
Or battles I deem worthy to fight,
My decisions are all mine
My mistakes, they are too
This is my life to live
It doesn't belong to you!
© 2011 Kristen Burns-Darling