ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Don't Become a Basement Dweller

Updated on September 18, 2011
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

Hanging Out in the Basement

It has come to my attention recently that there is a need to discuss a serious issue in today's society: Basement Dwellers. Yes, it is a delicate subject, but someone has to do something about it. You may ask, "What is a Basement Dweller?" Oh, what a charmed life you are living. Let me explain.

A Basement Dweller is any guy age 14 and up that has somehow determined it is in his best interest to forever hang out in his parents' basement. Often, this Basement Dweller sets up a "bachelor pad" in the basement by moving all his bedroom furniture to one section of the basement. Then, he continues to build his own little kingdom by adding a computer desk, computer, television, and several game consoles. It is like a single dudes' paradise.

The problem with the "man cave" (as some have been known to call it) is some guys never move out. They literally move all their belongings to the basement and stay parked there for an indefinite period of time. All of this behavior, to some degree, can be fine for a young man until he reaches his early '20s. Then it begins to become an issue.

How do you know it is becoming an issue? Does the basement smell like feet? Is the Basement Dweller 30 years old (or even older)? Is he afraid of women? Does he scare the women he approaches online? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it is becoming an issue.

How to Recognize a Basement Dweller

Basement Dwellers, much like vampires, rarely come out in the day. Sometimes you may see them attending college classes or even working, but usually work and getting an education is not a top priority. Instead, you are more likely to see these elusive creatures when a new video game is released or a comic book convention comes to town. I went to a Weird Al Yankovic concert once and it was crawling with Basement Dwellers.

You can often determine someone is a Basement Dweller from the pasty white skin. This is attributed to a lack of sunshine since basements so often do not have full windows. Usually their hair looks as if it has not experienced a shampoo in a long time. Also, you can often hear short conversations about subjects like Star Wars or Warhammer if you listen closely to a group of Basement Dwellers.

Do not approach the Basement Dweller! These guys sometimes have not been forced to have an actual conversation in years. Most of their conversations involve online chats or grunts from fellow Basement Dwellers that occasionally congregate in one chosen basement for some type of role playing game.

Basement Dweller Prevention

The most obvious step is, DO NOT move into your parents' basement. It might seem like a nice idea at the time, but nothing good can come of it. Stay out of the basement. Look for some interesting outdoor activities you may enjoy. When all else fails, get a job. Hey, you can even try talking to a female! Maybe go out on some dates. And no, she does not want to hang out in your basement.

Parents, make sure to force your sons to go out and experience daylight every now and then. Sometimes you are going to have to cut off the power in the basement so your Basement Dweller will be forced to leave. In some situations, simply turning off the internet or cable will be enough. Encourage him to get a job. Encourage him to go to college. Even if it is just community college, he would still have to experience life outside the basement. Most colleges do not hold too many classes in the basement, so it will still be a safe environment for your recovering Basement Dweller.

Light at the End of the Basement

Just remember, there is hope for everyone. Fellows that hang out in the basement can be conditioned to leave the basement just a little each day. It is all about baby steps for the Basement Dweller. Yes, it can be frightening having conversations with actual human beings, but it can happen. Some Basement Dwellers discover they are actually quite talented at having real conversations. Some Basement Dwellers even determine they would like to come out in the sun and experience the world more often.

Anyone can recover from this dangerous condition, but they must first admit they have a problem. Once they take the first step, anything is possible! Good luck to you!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)