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Get These Things Out of Me!.... I am so full of stories I think I might explode. I need to write!

Updated on April 15, 2012

"Hi, Dana, great job you're doing. You are a prolific, insightful and interesting writer. There's a book in you waiting to get out, so let it out." That is fan mail I received from a lovely lady that goes by mizjo. Like me, a newbie and a fellow hubnuggets nominee. And I think she might be right. Now if only I could find that darn book in all of this clutter!

Racing Thoughts

I am one of those people that is always thinking. Though if you were to ask me at any one point what I am thinking about, I will most likely say nothing much. Because it is easier to say that than to say everything, or to list the actual things, because you are bound to think I am crazy. There is always something going on in my brain. A snippet of a song playing on a loop, usually one I don't even like. A past conversation. A future conversation. The things I need to do and places I need to go. The things I want to do and places I want to go. It is very passive, yet very tiring. They run on autopilot. Oftentimes several at once. Over and over. I have played a conversation in my head so many times that I actually forgot if I really had it. I think about some things so much it takes more energy than doing the task itself! And now that I have discovered HubPages, I think in hubs!

Yes, I Think in Hubs

I see a story in everything. My pets, myself, the people around me, the things I like, the things I don't, the things I want to share, the things I have to share. I have written a surprisingly popular story about my inbred cat. And a dreadfully unpopular story about the same cat. I have written about my quirks and my struggles. Sometimes with humor and sometimes not. I have given advice and I have shared family recipes.I write about sweet things, and things decidedly not sweet at all. Why do I do this? Because I have to. It's the only way to get the thoughts to stop. When I am writing, the hub that is pouring out of me is all I can think about. And for a while the chatter in my head is at least reduced to a one way conversation between me and my audience. And for a while my head is a little quieter. One less flood of narrative swirling around my brain. One less topic that I feel the incessant need to tackle. One less story that I am burning to share.

I recently posted the question, "How do I write faster?" Not because I want more exposure, or money, or a bigger following. Sure, who wouldn't like those things? It is because I must have dozens of titles and passages and ideas that I have a burning desire to turn into something more. They are eating away at me. If I don't write them they will eat away at me until I die. And I want to share them. This is something new. I have never had the confidence to openly share like this. Even when asked directly by college professors for copies of my papers, I hesitated. I still questioned myself.

Full Speed Ahead

There is no hesitation now. There can't be. I won't survive it. There is still self doubt. I will have a little wave of panic before I hit the publish button. I always do. Because it isn't good enough yet. It needs just a little more work. But the impatient side of me always wins. And I hit the button. Knowing that when I do find those perfect words, I can go back and sneak them in. Otherwise this hub would sit for days feeding that fire that keeps me up even now. Writing when I know I should be on my way to bed. So I can get up early for that temp job I just took to take to pay the bills. I feel like it is stifling my creativity daily. It's only three months. I hope I live. Even when I am commended my head only swells for a moment. And then I come back to Earth. I still have along way to go until I get to where I want to be. With my writing and as a writer. To be as good as those that I admire in so many ways for their skill and for their integrity alike. I suck up every bit of advice I get from those wonderfully supportive members of the hubpages community that take time to share their thoughts and advice and encouragement. I hope you know who you are. If I had the time toninght I would thank each one of you, like one of my favorite hubbers does quite regularly. But there is that pesky job and I need that silly sleep.

So, am I destined to be a writer? Or am I just crazy?

So what does this all mean? Obsessively thinking in narrative prose, or poetry, or just a perfectly formed passage or idea. The need to write so urgently when the thoughts come that I want to scream if I can't frantically get them down. I have never been so excited about something before. Not my scholarships or degree. No jobs or bonuses. No hobbies. Am I crazy? Is this just a manic spree that will come to an end just as abruptly as it started? Or is this real? Have I finally answered the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I never did have an answer to that. I didn't really want to be anything. I just knew what i liked to do. I liked to learn and to teach and to read and to write. And that is what I hope I am learning to do in this big little world of hubpages.

Now what?

So let's continue on with the theory that I am not crazy. That I really am meant to be a writer. And what I am experiencing now is not pure mania but the euphoria of someone that has finally found themself. Now what? Do I hide on hubpages indefinitely? Will I ever be ready to leave this big little world for the enormous universe beyond it? Could I turn this into a job,a career? I hope so. And I plan to. I am trying to get my ducks in a row. As I say in my profile, I am low tech and don't own an i-anything. This world of websites I must create and those I must join is all new to me. As is the art of self promotion. Something I am easing my way into more comfortably than I thought possible. It is all very daunting. But I am determined. I will find a way to make this work! It is about time that I succeeded at something and made something of myself. And if I can make a few bucks that won't be so bad too. And if the passion ever begins to fade, a completely foreign idea a the moment, I will read this hub in hopes of rekindling that fire that is burning inside of me. Now let's hope I find that book!

Why do you write?

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    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks! I have a feeling all of us hubbers are a little "off" and that is what makes us so great... I have taken a temp job, 40 hours a week, and it is leaving me next to no time to write. Its killing me! But the bills will are paid.

    • Earthy Mother profile image

      Earthy Mother 5 years ago from South East England

      I really enjoyed reading this and can totally relate to what you say...if you're crazy, then me too! Found your hub from Billy's 'shout out'...can't wait to go and read more! Xx

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you everyone for the comments and encouragement. Glad to know I'm not going insane. Yet anyway...

      Bob, you read my mind! I was thinking the very same thing this morning. That piece was not edited quite as well as usual. Too close to bedtime I guess. Writing from the third person has always seemed impossible to me. My homework this weekend is to give it a shot and see how it feels. Thanks for your honesty and your advice. Its is always welcomed and appreciated.

      Bill with all of the great hubbers you follow I wonder how you take time to read my items at all! Thank you for your continued support and encouragement. One thing I have learned for sure is that this is going to take time and work. But it doesnt feel like work to me with such a great group and friends like you. See you around the hubs!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You ain't crazy my are a writer! Now just for the day what say you push those damn self-doubts out of the way and let your creativity enjoy a free run without nagging negative messages? You have the talent to write for a living but it takes patience while you learn your craft. Here is my deal for you: you keep writing and I'll keep reading! Have a PEACEFUL day!

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 5 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Dana Teresa: Here is some advice based on a long career as a journalist. You can use it or disregard it.

      If you have pretentions as a novelist, or even a successful "wordsmith" in any field.

      GET THE FIRST PERSON SINGULAR PRONOUN "I" out of your writing. After that, treat it like a rare and pungent spice, to be added carefully and rarely to your work. Your article today was ruined by its overuse; a mistake carried along by your enthusiasm, (which all new writers make...)

      Robert Challen de Mercer.

      PS Try rewriting the piece dropping most of the "I's" and you will see what this comment means!

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I feel the same way. I am now fecund with immense creativity. It is now time for me to write.

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      Really good stuff here--a great read! You've done a seriously super job with this post. Part of me says, "Wow" and part of me says, "You too?" :) It is beyond me why everyone doesn't love to write. HP does indeed give us a great opportunity to learn about web writing as we refine our writing skills. It's a continuing education program. Enjoy! :)

    • Ruby H Rose profile image

      Maree Michael Martin 5 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

      You are on a roll, keep at it. The roller coaster ride has begun. Enjoy it. The highs and the lows can make us wonder if we are going crazy. That just means we are feeling. Writers write feelings! Yipee! Can't wait to read some more. Every time I learn how to do something around here there is more to learn. I am waiting for your next one!