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Humor: How to Lose Your Friends?

Updated on December 17, 2013

If you have a big number of friends, it is a big burden on you. You must limit the number of your friends. The only way to limit it is to unfriend the unwanted friends from the list.

It is a very easy thing to unfriend the unwanted friends from social networking sites. But I am not talking about your virtual friends but the actual friends with whom you are in touch physically. (Please do not misunderstand, I meant the friends to whom you meet in actual, not through internet). Contrary to the friends from social networking sites, It is not an easy task to unfriend your actual friends. But where there is a wish, there are ways.

Here are some sure shot methods to lose your friends.

Insult a friend and lose him.

You can lose a lot of your friends by insulting them with this or that way. The best place for insulting is in the presence of other friends. Most of the time, the friend to whom you insult, will insult you. Then you should ask him to get out, otherwise he will ask you to get lost.

There is a chance that the friend you have insulted will make a phone call to you to say sorry, as he too have insulted you. In this case, do not forgive him and declare that he is no more your friend, you do not know him, do not call again etc. If possible, use some abusive words.

Thus, you can lose many of your friends using this method.

Borrow Some Money and Do Not Return it

Borrowing some money and not returning it is another way to lose friends. Just ask for some money to the friend to who you want to lose. Promise him to return it within one or two days. But do not return it. Never contact him again. If he makes phone calls, do not attend them. He will try to meet you, but avoid the meeting. He will get irritated and will catch you one or another day, here or there. He will quarrel with you. Here comes your chance to lose your friend. Tell him in rude words that you will return the money within 24 hours. You should return the money by hands of some one other, not yourself. Thus your friendship will end.

In case the friend to whom you are asking for money says No to give you the money, it is a better thing. You should immediately tell him that the friendship is over now.

Lend Some Money and Lose a Friend

If a friend of yours to whom you want to lose asks for some money, do not say No. Give him the money. As he do not want to return it, he will never meet you again.

This is an expensive way as you have to lose the money you lended to him. Further, this method is applicable only to those who do not return borrowed money.

Send a Hate Mail

Another way to lose a friend is to send a hate mail. This is an effective method. Use abusive words, if possible. Most of the times, you will get a great success using this method.


The writer does not give any guarantee for losing your friends by using these methods. He is not responsible if some legal problems occur or the friends turn enemies while using these methods.


Submit a Comment

  • jainismus profile image

    Mahaveer Sanglikar 6 years ago from Pune, India


    It is just humor, do not take it seriously.

  • Ruchira profile image

    Ruchira 6 years ago from United States

    Amusing hub :)

  • profile image

    buddhaanalysis 6 years ago

    i am not agree that a jain can think like this like abusing.