The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #17

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Series number seventeen.

Preparing for four-nation swing to Ireland, Britain, France and Poland.

Barack: Well, the rapture didn't occur so I guess we're still on for Europe.

Michelle: So, off we go to Europe tomorrow. Maybe I'll give the Queen a piece of my mind for not having us at that wedding!

Barack: Michelle! I thought you were over that crap.

Michelle: I am. Just kidding. (smiling) What a week, huh? Huckabee is out! Trump is out! CNN Anchor Don Lemon came out of the closet! Hey, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is in!

Barack: What do you mean "in?"

Michelle: In the doghouse with Maria! Have you seen her face lately? That woman is angry! I bet she told Arnold, 'hasta la vista, baby!'

Barack: Michelle, you are too much.

Michelle: She was with Oprah the other day. I know O gave her the "talk!" She told her that men are just no good. Have you noticed that the Republicans have been mighty quiet about "The Terminator?"

Barack: Yeah! Just like with Senator Craig...

Michelle: ...playing footsies in the toilet. What an awful place to pick someone up. I mean with all the flatulence and toilet noises going on! Ha ha ha!

Barack: Ha ha ha! I guess he preferred to be in rather than out!

Michelle: Now on to another happening this week. You probably pissed off a bunch of Jewish voters with your Middle East speech.

Barack: How, Michelle?

Michelle: I'm not saying it was wrong. I am saying that you should have talked with Netanyahu first, before giving the speech. It's OK to disagree with the policies of the Israeli government, but you didn't treat him very well back in March when he visited.

Barack: Well, his attitude toward me wasn't the best and I didn't want to make a difficult situation more uncomfortable.

Michelle: Yeah, but you were the host and the host should always be hospitable. That's all I'm sayin'. Israel is an ally and I understand the tensions they have with the Palestinians. I understand the concerns they have with their borders. And I do know that Israel has spied on the US, committed some atrocities against innocent Palestinians and supported the former South African apartheid government. But respect has to be shown to leaders of foreign governments.

Barack: I see your points. But Israel cannot continue to be stubborn on this issue. My administration has been tough on the Arab nations as well. As for the Jewish vote, the media and key people will bring them around. Have you noticed - there has been very little criticism from them.

Michelle: OK. I'm just sayin'.

Barack: I can't wait to get to Ireland. I'll get to connect with my Irish roots in the wee town of Moneygall! Maybe I'll change my name to 'Barry O'bama!' (using Irish accent)

Michelle: Well, I'm looking forward to the sleepover in Buckingham Palace when we get to England. 'Spot of tea, my dear?' (using British accent)

Barack: 'Not blooming likely, mate.' I'm completely 'buggered.' I was 'full of beans' earlier. Haven't felt that way in 'yonks!' (using British accent)

Michelle: Let's not joke like this in front of the Queen. She might get mad and banish us to some far away place!

Barack: Yeah! Like Canada! Ha ha ha! 'Off with their heads!'

Michelle: Ha ha ha! Oh, and Barack, you need to be careful of what you say when speaking in front of Parliament. No jokes, no accents and stick to the script!

Barack: OK! OK!

Michelle: And be nice to the Prince and Kate. They're in. Oh and Pippa. She's in. And if we see Elton John - he's in!

Barack: No. He's out!

Michelle: Grrrrr!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough