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The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #17

Updated on October 24, 2011

May 21, 2011 - In and Out

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Series number seventeen.

Preparing for four-nation swing to Ireland, Britain, France and Poland.

Barack: Well, the rapture didn't occur so I guess we're still on for Europe.

Michelle: So, off we go to Europe tomorrow. Maybe I'll give the Queen a piece of my mind for not having us at that wedding!

Barack: Michelle! I thought you were over that crap.

Michelle: I am. Just kidding. (smiling) What a week, huh? Huckabee is out! Trump is out! CNN Anchor Don Lemon came out of the closet! Hey, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is in!

Barack: What do you mean "in?"

Michelle: In the doghouse with Maria! Have you seen her face lately? That woman is angry! I bet she told Arnold, 'hasta la vista, baby!'

Barack: Michelle, you are too much.

Michelle: She was with Oprah the other day. I know O gave her the "talk!" She told her that men are just no good. Have you noticed that the Republicans have been mighty quiet about "The Terminator?"

Barack: Yeah! Just like with Senator Craig...

Michelle: ...playing footsies in the toilet. What an awful place to pick someone up. I mean with all the flatulence and toilet noises going on! Ha ha ha!

Barack: Ha ha ha! I guess he preferred to be in rather than out!

Michelle: Now on to another happening this week. You probably pissed off a bunch of Jewish voters with your Middle East speech.

Barack: How, Michelle?

Michelle: I'm not saying it was wrong. I am saying that you should have talked with Netanyahu first, before giving the speech. It's OK to disagree with the policies of the Israeli government, but you didn't treat him very well back in March when he visited.

Barack: Well, his attitude toward me wasn't the best and I didn't want to make a difficult situation more uncomfortable.

Michelle: Yeah, but you were the host and the host should always be hospitable. That's all I'm sayin'. Israel is an ally and I understand the tensions they have with the Palestinians. I understand the concerns they have with their borders. And I do know that Israel has spied on the US, committed some atrocities against innocent Palestinians and supported the former South African apartheid government. But respect has to be shown to leaders of foreign governments.

Barack: I see your points. But Israel cannot continue to be stubborn on this issue. My administration has been tough on the Arab nations as well. As for the Jewish vote, the media and key people will bring them around. Have you noticed - there has been very little criticism from them.

Michelle: OK. I'm just sayin'.


Barack: I can't wait to get to Ireland. I'll get to connect with my Irish roots in the wee town of Moneygall! Maybe I'll change my name to 'Barry O'bama!' (using Irish accent)

Michelle: Well, I'm looking forward to the sleepover in Buckingham Palace when we get to England. 'Spot of tea, my dear?' (using British accent)

Barack: 'Not blooming likely, mate.' I'm completely 'buggered.' I was 'full of beans' earlier. Haven't felt that way in 'yonks!' (using British accent)

Michelle: Let's not joke like this in front of the Queen. She might get mad and banish us to some far away place!

Barack: Yeah! Like Canada! Ha ha ha! 'Off with their heads!'

Michelle: Ha ha ha! Oh, and Barack, you need to be careful of what you say when speaking in front of Parliament. No jokes, no accents and stick to the script!

Barack: OK! OK!

Michelle: And be nice to the Prince and Kate. They're in. Oh and Pippa. She's in. And if we see Elton John - he's in!

Barack: No. He's out!

Michelle: Grrrrr!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

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    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Ian!

      I bet they are talking about how the world is screwed up and what they can do to further destruction! Just my opinion! Ha ha ha!

    • alian346 profile image

      alian346 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

      epigramman said that 'this is a world class series of writing' and he is absolutely correct!

      At this moment in time Messrs Cameron and Obama are in AF1 en route to a basketball game - I wonder what they're talking about and whether Mr Obama is using his Royal accent!

      Ian.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Ashantina! Good to see you! Thanks!

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 5 years ago

      Its been awhile, so am catching up on my fix!!

      Hope you are well Dexter ):

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Hi Mo! Yep, He has Irish roots on his mother's side. Thanks!

    • profile image

      Motown2Chitown 6 years ago

      Barry O'Bama! That's priceless! How did I miss that Obama has Irish roots? Dexter, you are one funny man!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Dexter, I will definitely be back for more. :-)

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Hi Sueswan and welcome! I am so glad you enjoyed it! Check back for more.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Hi Dexter!

      This Canadian is laughing her head off.

      Love,"The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama."

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Hi Lady_E! Thank you. I am the proverbial "fly on the wall." lol

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Ha ha... How did you manage to slip in a secret Microphone? Nice share.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Ghost! Yep, Barack called that one!

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      Awesome as always. True, in this one Barack did cross the line with Michelle about Elton John. But I've got to agree with the President on this one; that dude (EJ) is DEFINITELY out!! LOL!

      Voted up and a bunch of buttons.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Sunnie! I hope you come back and read more!

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 6 years ago

      Very Funny Dexter and so creative..Very good!

      Sunnie

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks, StayPos! Yes, you are certainly right!!

    • StayPos profile image

      StayPos 6 years ago from Florida, USA

      Dexter,

      You've got the first Family covering a bunch of ground and doing it with stlyle as well as substance! They should have plenty to " talk " about when they get back to the states!

      We'll stay tuned :-)

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Epi! I appreciate your kindness!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..yeah Will is the man alright but then again so are you Dexter - I would love to see your concept here adapted into an animated feature or a half hour sit-com on cable TV - I find the whole idea rather visual through your excellent dialogue of course and there is a fascination from the public at large about famous people and what they actually say to each other privately.

      I am really impressed by what you have done here - so hubbravo to you my good friend.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Will, thank you so much. I am just proud to have you and Epi as great examples of true writers!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I agree with EPI. It's very creative and has enough of the ring of truth to it to make it delightfully funny. I exect to see much more from Dexter Yarbrough!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Good day!

      @Will - Thanks for checking it out!

      @Epigramman - Sir, you are too kind. Thank you so much!!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ....this is a world class series of writing - and so very original and daring and clever on your part - I am impressed by this idea you had and this 'running' series - you are doing something different and that always sits well with the epi-man - being the creative anomaly that you are - and you're a great photographer too!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      (snicker!)