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My First Haiku

Updated on October 28, 2012

This might not follow all of the strict rules of traditional Haiku, but I am anything but traditional. There is plenty of time for technicalities later. Today is about fun....


My First Haiku....

They do it so well

Now I am dying to try

Newbie's first Haiku



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    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 5 years ago from UK and Mexico

      I really must say

      Your first effort's outstanding

      And puts mine to shame.

      Congrats

      Bob

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 5 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      From someone who has no clue about Haiku, that is a great piece :)

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

      This is wicked cute. I love the picture, it seems to fit the poem perfectly.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are braver than I am; I won't even try. Well done newbie! :)

    • profile image

      win-winresources 5 years ago from Colorado

      Hello Dana-

      Nice verse. I found that the 5-7-5 structure of traditional haiku to be very useful in helping me to choose my words very carefully. With so few, It is the opportunity to expand my vocabulary and ways to form thoughts.

      There are famous haiku writers who advise that in haiku (particularly when written in English) the 5-7-5 is merely the carcass of the poem and that we should all reach for the imagery and essence.

      So, I figure that as an amateur, I find the structure a wonderful starting point, and as I grow I will branch out.

      Good luck.

      -DW

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 5 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      PS: when I said "from someone who has no clue about Haiku..." I meant ME, not you! lol, lol.... Sorry!

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 5 years ago from Reno NV

      Excellent, DanaTeresa, I love it! Jamie

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Wow! Thank you guys for the great comments. I guess its gonna be all downhill from here! :)

      Bob - Thanks. and Nicely Done!

      LaThing - Ha! No apology needed. I had only a small clue before I did a little refresher course, after which I promptly through the rules out the window in the name of fun.

      Phoebe - I agree 100% with your assesment. Thanks for "getting it". I don't know what it is about that doggy. He just felt right.

      Bill - Brave? No. Batty. A little. Something about hubpages makes me feel like every now and then throwing caution to the wind. Weeeee! Try the Haiku. I dare you! :)

      DW - My thoughts exactly. I started by just trying to say something in 5-7-5. Then I fussed around with words until I got some sort of emotion. I giggled. And that was enough for a first try. Next I will work on the traditional rules: nature theme, emotion, surprise, etc. A great haiku is like a burst of emotion. I am sure I will be venturing into new realms of words and thoughts and feelings as well. What a journey it will be.

      Jamie - I always enjoy your poetry. I am so glad you got to enjoy some of mine!

      THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE. I had a lot of fun writng this and you all have added to that tremendously.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 5 years ago from Minnesota

      Nice job on your first Haiku-Isn't it fun? I think the fact that their short makes the words more powerful.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Minnetonka Twin - They are a lot of fun. I published that right before going to work and it brightened my whole day. And yes. The restriction on words does add power. Only the strongest words get chosen. Thanks for the comliment.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Loved this Dana!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      AudreyHowitt - Thank you!

      It was fun to write. For the second batch (tiro of Spring) I tried to stay more true to the traditional spirit and rules of Haiku because I find them beautiful and wanted to repsect that. This first one was all about fun! Glad you enjoyed it!

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Yay! Good job. It really is fun to write a haiku, to try to cram everything in the limited syllables. Great job!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Victoria - Yes. It is fun to write them. Even when "following the rules". The next thing I have to master is to "hide the 5-7-5" so that it flows smoothly. I think I almost got it.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Thanks for your comment, may I add mine? Perfect 5-7-5 and perfect stating of what you were feeling at the time. Well done, just as your fellow Hubbers have attested.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you! and thank you for your kind words in response to my comment on your Iris Haiku...

      I really had so much fun writing this. For my subsequent ones I have decided to follow more of the traditional Japanese guidelines. I might go rogue again with a few more :)

    • Beth100 profile image

      Beth100 5 years ago from Canada

      An excellent first Haiku!! I love it!! (and the drawing too!) :)

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Beth100 - happy you liked it. Thank you also for the follow and the fan mail. See you around the hubs!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Dana could haiku

      Her first one is excellent

      Sunshine says "Bring It"

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Sinshine - Love the Haiku response! These things are way too much fun. Like M&Ms - yummy tiny nuggets of candy coating and a chocolate surpise on the inside. (i have no idea where that came from. Must be sunstroke from all that wonderful Sunshine!)

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      I think we got the best portion of your workday!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Perspycacious - it is always such an honor to get an encouraging comment from a fellow poet (if you would be so kind as to consider me one). thank you.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Cuteness! Way to go on your first Haiku! Well done!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Crisp - nice to meet you. Thanks for the great comment. I wanted to get my feet wet and have some fun. I am thrilled that other people are enjoying it too!

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Dana,

      I love your first haiku!

      I've always enjoyed how you write haiku about non-traditional or unusual subjects.

      Thanks for adding a link to my article "How to Write a Haiku about Nature." I appreciate it.

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks DAISY! ... I was mulling over writing haiku when I saw other hubbers dong it. I figured I better just throw one out there to get my feet wet and have some fun... Then I studied up on the "rules" you so nicely present in your How To hub.... I am glad you appreciate my odd subject matter. When I wirte, it is important to me that it be something uncommon so that I feel like I am contributing something new to the world.

      Thank you so much for your continued support and encouragement.... HUGS!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      I admire you and all the other Hubbers who write Haiku. I won't even try!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      mary615 - thank you for the recognition. i also admire those that do it well. You really should try. Just write one for yourself. It is liberating when you finally get it right.... take care :)

    • profile image

      ignugent17 4 years ago

      I enjoyed reading your haiku. :-)

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      ignugent17 - Thank You! I love writing them! :)

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 4 years ago from Boston, MA

      Very nice, Dana, I enjoy seeing the new ones you keep posting on facebook, and the colorful awesome pics to go along- wow, when you're done, make a book!

    • DanaTeresa profile image
      Author

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      blondey - Thanks hunny!... I am totally hooked on writing short poetry... After a few hundred more, I am sure I could scrape together a book, or two, or ten..... luv ya! :)

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