- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Poems & Poetry
Ode To The Rattleheadedcoppermoccasin! Union Groovin' To Saxapahaw!
FIRST! Have I got a deal for you!
Let me tell you about the deal I have for you!
Are you having trouble sleeping?
Are you an insomniac?
Take advantage of these bargains today!
I have a farce of a poem that might just bore you to sleep!
Today and today only- for the same admission I will include 16 pictures of the:
June 30th Tarwheels Union Groovin' To Saxapahaw bike ride!
And if you act today, in this package deal, at absolutely no extra charge:
2 short cycling videos made on the day of the ride!
If you're still not sleepy by now just wait till you see what's next!
You will also recieve:
Today- for today only- you will also see two pictures of two squirrels!
All four of these sleep inducers for the price of one!
And they say there's no free lunch!
(WARNING- DO NOT VIEW THIS HUBPAGE FOR AT LEAST THREE HOURS PRYOR TO DRIVING, OPERATING HEAVY EQUIPMENT, etc.)
Be careful as you walk in those woods.
Be careful as you walk,
In those hills of Carolina.
There’s the deadliest thing of deadly things,
From here all the way to China!
There’s a hybrid snake,
That will kill you dead!
It can just look at you,
And before a word is said-
You might as well look,
For a place to lie down,
Cause you’ll soon be looking,
Up from the ground.
There was a crazy old man,
And he was quite senile,
Got a bunch of reptiles together,
These nasty critters were vile!
He was out in his garden one day,
And saw an Adder fonda’ an Anaconda!
When he saw that thing that was the offspring,
He called it the Adderconda!
So, he matched a Cottonmouth to a lizard.
And it could run 30 miles an hour.
Everything that got in its way,
That snake would soon devour.
He matched a mongoose with a Mamba.
Thought he’d call it a Mambagoose
But it wound up eating itself,
Just as soon as he turned it loose.
Seemed like he wasn’t trying,
To create a snake that was kinder,
As he tried another experiment,
Mating a Hognose with a Sidewinder!
I’ve seen that Hogwinder chase,
A couple of alligators up a tree.
You should see that thing on youtube.
Just between you and me- I think they gave it some LSD!
As the old man and his love were dancing,
I believe it was the samba,
It was then he thought, “I’ll try to mate,
A Cottonmouth with a Mamba.”
Really loved the water,
But it never could be as mean,
As the old fool thought it oughta!
So he mixed all these together,
And in this brew he threw.
A Rattlesnake and a Copperhead,
To see what they would do!
And just for good measure,
He threw in the piranha’s DNA.
But still the concoction,
Seemed to be, well, just okay.
So he added genes from a politician,
And Lord, wouldn’t you know?
This stew turned out to be,
The meanest, deadliest, lyingest so and so!
This thing can talk,
But lies are all that’s said.
It’s a snake with two hind-feet,
And a rattle in its head!
Now if you see one of these,
Get on your knees.
It’s probably way too late.
You might as well accept your fate!
If you even look him in the eye,
You’re most likely gonna’ die,
Before you can tell,
You can die of its smell!
It can kill you with its breath,
Or- it may even take its time and just hate you plumb to death!
Coming soon- the “SidewindingHognoseCobra”!
By Micky Dee
June 30, 2010 Union Grove Saxapahaw Old 86
The ride started out easy enough. We were chatting it up.
It's always nice to see a pretty girl with a pretty hat!
We enjoy each others company for at least minutes.
We're enjoying the fresh air! Ahh! Life is good.
Then- right past the beginning- the pace quickens up the first hill.
But the view is spectacular!
Well, the pace quickens again!
Then the pace just "sickens"!
I'm only taking 16 pictures on this ride because of people like Tom here and the young fellow behind him!
Then- there's all these guys and everyone of them is in a hurry.
Everybody is using the same strategy from the same Wednesday playbook!
Jeff is considering his next attack!
Go very hard and attack often- especially if Micky Dee takes that camera out!
Cy takes his turn to turn the screw!
Cy tries to twist the knife while it's in!
Tom's pace screwed this picture up! Thanks Tom!
Well - this is the end of the line. Cy and I split from the Tarwheel Union Groovers and ride off into the sunset toward Hillsborough and a nap!
And as you were promised- two pictures of two squirrels!
Don't ever say I never gave you anything!