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The Jedi Wizard of the Ozzfest Rings : Epilogue

Updated on March 22, 2013

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The Jedi Wizard of the Ozzfest Rings ; Epilogue

An unexpected arrival gives Amy hope of a return.

At these very words the tent began to glow from a bright white light that shone from outside onto their backs.

They all turned towards it as the light grew stronger and stronger and glittered with a multitude of tiny sparkles.

From deep within the light came a shadowy apparition floating down until stood before them was a figure dressed in white and smiling kindly at their awestruck faces.

"Gandalf!!" cried Frodo
"What!" said Bob
"Not YOU!" Frodo snapped, "HIM!"

It was indeed Gandalf. Gandalf the White, the great Wizard of Middle Earth was among them.

"Hello Frodo, Hello Sam" he greeted his diminutive friends as he gazed upon them with genuine affection and warmth. "I see you've been up to your frolics again you impish little Hobbits. Aren't they adorable?" he said to the others.

"Is this guy for real" asked Bob to no-one in particular,

"Oh yes! Mr Geldof" the white Wizard assured him, "No trickery or tomfoolery now. I've been watching your every move and waiting for you all. And very entertaining it was too, there's not much on TV these days. And now you've arrived I'm here to help. I'm here to help you Amy"

"What! You can get me home?" said Amy
"Of course my dear" Gandalf replied,
"But how" asked Amy
"How? Why the answer has been with you all along. It's all so simple" Gandalf revealed, "You've been wearing something very special, something possessed with great magic and hidden powers"
"You mean these ruby red slippers?" said Amy,

"Sorry? What? Ohhhh those!! Oh good God no, oh no, no, no my dear, they're ten a penny down the local flea-market those things. Very amusing and good fun at parties I suppose but no, no, that's not what I meant, I'm referring to that little item on your finger"
"My ring?" exclaimed Amy
"Yes!, The Ring", affirmed Gandalf with a satisfied smile.”With my help and that little ring on your finger you will get home once more”
“Brilliant!” exclaimed Amy excitedly,
"But we have no time to waste, I've got an exorcism in half-an-hour for Mr Osbourne here"

"You're not kiddin mate" said Ozzy, "There's bats in me bleedin belfry"

"Yes, it's all go these days" explained Gandalf, "So now you must say your goodbyes to all your friends for it is time for you to leave"

"But what about Toto" asked Amy,

"Don't worry, he'll be there when you return" Gandalf assured her.

"I've signed the release papers down at the Quarantine Centre" he continued. "Time to go Amy, the adventure is over"

"Well you just never know the minute do you?" said an incredulous Amy, "You're certainly my white knight in shining armour, but I get the feeling you put me through my paces"

"Perhaps yes Amy" nodded Gandalf, "But true love must prevail and you've played your part most wonderfully. You've saved Ozzfest and you've saved Mr and Mrs Oz here. We won't forget you for it"

"Well I certainly won't forget all this that's for sure, acid tabs will never be the same again" said Amy,

With tears in her eyes Amy hugged and kissed them all giving a final and emotional farewell to her merry band of friends. "Goodbye everyone, I'm really gonna miss you all, even you Bob ya miserable sod"

"Oh it's been a caper sure it has Amy darlin" said Bob,

"A most pleasurable aquaintance Miss Amy" said C3PO,

"Short and sweet so it was. But c'mon do a gig with us sometime" Ozzy offered, "I'm sure Zakk would jam with yow too"

"Sure thing honey" Zakk nodded,

"Yeah!" said Sharon, "And I can even get you a slot on the X-Factor if that git Cowell will let me"

"Phhheeeeoooowww Shhhhrrrroooop beeee wooooo eeeeooo!! said R2,

C3PO translated, "He says he wants to go with you"
"Shhhhhrrrroooop weeeeeee pheeeeeoooowww!!"
"I beg your pardon R2D2, can you repeat that?" asked C3
"Shhhhhrrrroooop weeeeeee pheeeeeoooowww!!"
"Oh yes! I see"
"What did he say" asked Sharon
"He says he wants his Precious" C3 explained,
"Aww!!, that's so cute" gushed Amy.

Gandalf looked at Sam who looked at Frodo who looked back at Gandalf. They all had the same expression of dread on their faces.

"I think he's more at home here" said Gandalf tactfully as Frodo and Sam ushered the little droid out of the tent,

"Shhhhhrrrroooop weeeeeee pheeeeeoooowww!!" protested R2,
"It's for the best my dear" Gandalf reassured Amy,
"Aw! What a shame" Amy sighed, "But OK!I Anything you say and I suppose you're right. Well! I'm ready when you are. What do I do?"

"It's very simple Amy" explained the Wizard,

"Close your eyes, start rubbing the ring and repeat after me, 'Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner', 'Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner'..."

Amy did his bidding, even gently singing the words with everyone joining in quietly in the background.

But their voices faded rapidly and the last she heard was "Goodbye Amy!!" as they all bid her farewell almost in unison. She then opened her eyes.

However, she no longer saw Gandalf and her friends from Oz. She was standing in Regent's Park in her town of Camden in the great city of London. She was home at last.

She saw Toto nearby sniffing at a tree and called him over. Once he was finished he ran to her and she cradled him in her arms. She looked at her watch and saw it was just in time for opening. So she headed for the Hawley Arms and entered through its familiar and welcoming portal.

Amy would not emerge again from its inner sanctum until long after nightfall..........and so the saga continues..............




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    • ComposerGoneWild profile image

      John Preston Dennis 7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I am going to have to check this out later. Looks pretty entertaining.

    • Shinkicker profile image

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Millenium

      Take 1 Hub per day after meals :-)

      Thanks for taking the time to read. Glad you enjoyed it

    • Millenium profile image

      Millenium 7 years ago

      OMG hilarious! I need to stop by more often and check out your other hubs. Thanks for the pick-me-up Shinkicker!

    • Shinkicker profile image

      Shinkicker 7 years ago from Scotland

      Cheers for reading Rob , glad you enjoyed it.

    • Robwrite profile image

      Rob 7 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

      Excellent satire. I enjoyed it.