Preserves like Memories.

1. 66

   2uesdayposted 15 years ago

   The berries ripened too late
     for me to share them with you.
     It was no good preserving them.
     Like memories, packed away,
     stored out of the light.
     In the back of a cupboard
     that no one looks in
     but me.

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   1. 59

      Sexy jontyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Too sexy and beautiful ....

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      1. 66

         2uesdayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for reading this and for your comment

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   2. 60

      words cocktailposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It is really very well put in..
      "Preserves like Memories"
      something about the title...
      and then it actually holds a story
      
      I felt like adding mine..
      i did..hope you like it!

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      1. 66

         2uesdayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          
         
         Felt like adding in my take too!
         
         "It would have been good
         preserving...
         -the berries
         ripened
         you were 'so'
         deserving...
         
         Like memories packed
         away..
         my dreams you hacked..
         leaving me
         to sway
         
         Remember,
         that back of the cupboard
         we used to look in?
         reviving the memories..
         relishing the berries..
         
         Today,
         it is just me
         where are you..
         come back.
         will you?"   ...this is by words cocktail
         
         
         hi words cocktail- thank you I liked your poem and the idea of other peoples' 'takes' on my words and the comments are welcome especially as they are encouraging to me.

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            words cocktailposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Hey, I must Thank you 2uesday :)for prompting and for the inspiration..really! the feeling we have is mutual..keep writing!

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            1. 66

               2uesdayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               At last I have found a writing forum where I feel at home with people writing,communicating ideas and in a friendly encouraging way. Thank you.

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2. 0

   Lady_Eposted 15 years ago

   Short and sweet

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3. 66

   2uesdayposted 15 years ago

   Thank you Lady_E for reading and leaving a comment.

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4. 82

   twalker74posted 15 years ago

   I like what you have. Very visual, very original.
   
   I took your words, infused my own meaning, and set it to meter. What's your take?
   
   The berries ripened too
   Late for me to share you.
   Twas not preserving them—
   Memories packed again,
   Stored out of the light,
   In the black cupboard night
   That not one looks within,
   but with me not a twin.

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   1. 66

      2uesdayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I like the idea that in writing this it can prompt a poetic response, thank you it is very encouraging. When I write 'poetic' things sometimes I like to edit them down to a minimum; so that what I have written is open to slighlty different meanings.  What you have done with my words is good.

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      1. 82

         twalker74posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks! I did enjoy what you wrote. Framing it differently was an act of inspiration. What I love about poetry is that by simply adjusting the structure, in may change an entire meaning of a piece. That is why I find editing as thrilling as writing itself.

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      words cocktailposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Felt like adding in my take too!
      
      It would have been good
      preserving...
      -the berries
      ripened
      you were 'so'
      deserving...
      
      Like memories packed
      away..
      my dreams you hacked..
      leaving me
      to sway
      
      Remember,
      that back of the cupboard
      we used to look in?
      reviving the memories..
      relishing the berries..
      
      Today,
      it is just me
      where are you..
      come back.
      will you?

      replyreport
5. 66

   2uesdayposted 15 years ago

   Sorry did not know until I read it on another thread today that we are not meant to post poems on the prose poetry forum. I will not put poems on forums in the future.

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