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jump to last post 1-5 of 5 discussions (14 posts)

Preserves like Memories.

  1. 2uesday profile image80
    2uesdayposted 8 years ago

    The berries ripened too late
      for me to share them with you.
      It was no good preserving them.
      Like memories, packed away,
      stored out of the light.
      In the back of a cupboard
      that no one looks in
      but me.

    1. Sexy jonty profile image54
      Sexy jontyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Too sexy and beautiful ....

      1. 2uesday profile image80
        2uesdayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you for reading this and for your comment

    2. words cocktail profile image60
      words cocktailposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It is really very well put in..
      "Preserves like Memories"
      something about the title...
      and then it actually holds a story

      I felt like adding mine..
      i did..hope you like it!

      1. 2uesday profile image80
        2uesdayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         

        Felt like adding in my take too!

        "It would have been good
        preserving...
        -the berries
        ripened
        you were 'so'
        deserving...

        Like memories packed
        away..
        my dreams you hacked..
        leaving me
        to sway

        Remember,
        that back of the cupboard
        we used to look in?
        reviving the memories..
        relishing the berries..

        Today,
        it is just me
        where are you..
        come back.
        will you?"   ...this is by words cocktail


        hi words cocktail- thank you I liked your poem and the idea of other peoples' 'takes' on my words and the comments are welcome especially as they are encouraging to me.

        1. words cocktail profile image60
          words cocktailposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          Hey, I must Thank you 2uesday :)for prompting and for the inspiration..really! the feeling we have is mutual..keep writing!

          1. 2uesday profile image80
            2uesdayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            At last I have found a writing forum where I feel at home with people writing,communicating ideas and in a friendly encouraging way. Thank you.

  2. Lady_E profile image73
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Short and sweet smile

  3. 2uesday profile image80
    2uesdayposted 8 years ago

    Thank you Lady_E for reading and leaving a comment.

  4. twalker74 profile image80
    twalker74posted 8 years ago

    I like what you have. Very visual, very original.

    I took your words, infused my own meaning, and set it to meter. What's your take?

    The berries ripened too
    Late for me to share you.
    Twas not preserving them—
    Memories packed again,
    Stored out of the light,
    In the black cupboard night
    That not one looks within,
    but with me not a twin.

    1. 2uesday profile image80
      2uesdayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I like the idea that in writing this it can prompt a poetic response, thank you it is very encouraging. When I write 'poetic' things sometimes I like to edit them down to a minimum; so that what I have written is open to slighlty different meanings.  What you have done with my words is good.

      1. twalker74 profile image80
        twalker74posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks! I did enjoy what you wrote. Framing it differently was an act of inspiration. What I love about poetry is that by simply adjusting the structure, in may change an entire meaning of a piece. That is why I find editing as thrilling as writing itself.

    2. words cocktail profile image60
      words cocktailposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Felt like adding in my take too!

      It would have been good
      preserving...
      -the berries
      ripened
      you were 'so'
      deserving...

      Like memories packed
      away..
      my dreams you hacked..
      leaving me
      to sway

      Remember,
      that back of the cupboard
      we used to look in?
      reviving the memories..
      relishing the berries..

      Today,
      it is just me
      where are you..
      come back.
      will you?

  5. 2uesday profile image80
    2uesdayposted 8 years ago

    Sorry did not know until I read it on another thread today that we are not meant to post poems on the prose poetry forum. I will not put poems on forums in the future.

 
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