The berries ripened too late
for me to share them with you.
It was no good preserving them.
Like memories, packed away,
stored out of the light.
In the back of a cupboard
that no one looks in
but me.
It is really very well put in..
"Preserves like Memories"
something about the title...
and then it actually holds a story
I felt like adding mine..
i did..hope you like it!
Felt like adding in my take too!
"It would have been good
preserving...
-the berries
ripened
you were 'so'
deserving...
Like memories packed
away..
my dreams you hacked..
leaving me
to sway
Remember,
that back of the cupboard
we used to look in?
reviving the memories..
relishing the berries..
Today,
it is just me
where are you..
come back.
will you?" ...this is by words cocktail
hi words cocktail- thank you I liked your poem and the idea of other peoples' 'takes' on my words and the comments are welcome especially as they are encouraging to me.
Hey, I must Thank you 2uesday :)for prompting and for the inspiration..really! the feeling we have is mutual..keep writing!
I like what you have. Very visual, very original.
I took your words, infused my own meaning, and set it to meter. What's your take?
The berries ripened too
Late for me to share you.
Twas not preserving them—
Memories packed again,
Stored out of the light,
In the black cupboard night
That not one looks within,
but with me not a twin.
I like the idea that in writing this it can prompt a poetic response, thank you it is very encouraging. When I write 'poetic' things sometimes I like to edit them down to a minimum; so that what I have written is open to slighlty different meanings. What you have done with my words is good.
Thanks! I did enjoy what you wrote. Framing it differently was an act of inspiration. What I love about poetry is that by simply adjusting the structure, in may change an entire meaning of a piece. That is why I find editing as thrilling as writing itself.
Felt like adding in my take too!
It would have been good
preserving...
-the berries
ripened
you were 'so'
deserving...
Like memories packed
away..
my dreams you hacked..
leaving me
to sway
Remember,
that back of the cupboard
we used to look in?
reviving the memories..
relishing the berries..
Today,
it is just me
where are you..
come back.
will you?
Sorry did not know until I read it on another thread today that we are not meant to post poems on the prose poetry forum. I will not put poems on forums in the future.
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