I just found this poem I wrote a while back. Looking back at it I'm wondering what made me so negative about my whole existence.
I am Mrs "yes yes" robot wife.
God could give me another life
one where I get to pick and choose
whether, this week, we win or we lose
I work too much, all day long
in the lab I sing their song
then I'm home to wash something
or cook, or iron, or fill in something
Sometimes I will forget them all
and sit here staring at the wall
or be online selling things
or venting out writing poems.
I never argue, shout or fight
I keep stuff in with all my might
But it creeps out every once in a while
It seeps out through a gritted smile.
Sometimes I just want to wonder away
wake up to a different house, country, language, day.
Start my life with a new foundation
somewhere remote and filled with liberation
Off to somewhere green and clean
free from people being mean.
Maybe to the countryside?
Just somewhere I can go and hide.
I don't hate to be a "yes yes" wife
but why does it cause such strife?
when it doesn't have to be like that, in this life
Cutting up my soul like a knife.
A bit of understanding and trust
these two things are a major must
otherwise being a "yes yes" wife
just turns out to be a horrible life.
Watching 'A Home In The Country' or 'A Place In The Sun'
I feel like I've been cheated, I ask what have I done??
Why am I stuck here in this miserable place?
sat here with this miserable face?
No family near by
or a friend to say hi
And he works all weekend
for what means? or what end?
But everything keeps going on
And I keep singing along
to everyone else's damn song
Life just couldn't be more wrong.
How depressing is that! Well I'm glad to say that I don't feel like this anymore, but thought I would share it with you.
God could give me another life
Ｉ ｌｉｋｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｐｏｅｍ － ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｌｉｎｅ ａｂｏｖｅ ｓａｙｓ ｉｔ ａｌｌ ｒｅａｌｌｙ， ｄｅｐｅｎｄｉｎｇ ｏｎ ｓｏｍｅ ｏｕｔｓｉｄｅ ｓｏｕｒｃｅ ｉｓ ｗｈａｔ ｍａｋｅｓ ｙｏｕ ｔｈｅ ｒｏｂｏｔ， ｔａｋｉｎｇ ｃｈａｒｇｅ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ ｌｉｆｅ ａｎｄ ｂｅｉｎｇ ｒｅｓｐｏｎｓｉｂｌｅ ｆｏｒ ｙｏｕｒｓｅｌｆ， ｉｓ ｆｒｅｅｄｏｍ．
wow, glad you don't feel like that anymore
p.s. A Place In The Sun is a great film. Monty Clift was at the height of his beauty then. that was also when he had a horrible car accident, and his face went through the windshield. you might notice in some parts of the film his face looks different.
p.p.s. OOH Shelly Winters, i sooo wanted to smack her in that movie
This poem is so lovely, though the feelings when you wrote this probably was not. It is sometimes difficult to maintain harmony in a relationship without feeling like a robot, but you should eventually learn to balance and not lose your self. It's good to hear that you don't feel this way anymore. Happy for you
how is it that everyone has a talent of writing poems except me??
But.. glad you ain't feeling like that no more..
Thanks for the comments. I think I was sick of my job and then I had a huge argument with my husband. I just blame it on the hormones!
There's an honesty that comes through it, and it flowed smoothly. I'm glad to hear that the feelings passed. I've had days where I want to trade my life for what's behind door #3. Nicely written.
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