What’s your favourite bad joke?

Jump to Last Post 1-37 of 37 discussions (42 posts)
  1. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 7 years ago

    The one I love is 
    A white horse go’s in to a pub, the barman says we have a whisky names after you?
    The horse replies they named a whisky Eric?
    Dire I know your turn!

  2. WryLilt profile image91
    WryLiltposted 7 years ago

    What did one casket say to the other casket?

    Is that you coffin'?

    What's yellow and can't swim?

    A bulldozer...

    1. saleheensblog profile image62
      saleheensblogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      fuuuuuuuuuuu

  3. couturepopcafe profile image59
    couturepopcafeposted 7 years ago

    roll

  4. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

  5. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

  6. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

  7. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

  8. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    4. A dog's parents never visit.

  9. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

  10. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

  11. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

  12. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

  13. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

  14. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

  15. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

  16. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

  17. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

  18. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

  19. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    .
    The end. smile

  20. Alien invasion profile image56
    Alien invasionposted 7 years ago

    Some country hick walks into Harvard and asks a professor, "Yall know where the library's at?"

    The professor replies, "Here at Harvard we do not end our sentences in prepositions."

    The hick says, "Ok, Yall know where the library's at, A** Hole?"

  21. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 7 years ago

    Excellent every one lol

  22. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 7 years ago

    A man walks in to a bar
    Ouch!!!

  23. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 7 years ago

    I was thinking of bumping this one for the dog lovers, but you beat me to it. smile

  24. timorous profile image83
    timorousposted 7 years ago

    A horse ambles into a bar.  Bartender says "Hey buddy, why such a long face?"

    1. mrfluffy profile image61
      mrfluffyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Two lions are walking down Oxford Street in London. One looks to the other and says “it’s quiet here isn’t it”.

  25. Bill Manning profile image73
    Bill Manningposted 7 years ago

    Did you hear about the pony with a sore throat? Yeah, he was a little hoarse,,,,,

  26. Bill Manning profile image73
    Bill Manningposted 7 years ago

    A friend told me he has 3 wife's. Really I said? That must take a lot to do that. Yeah he said, it's awful big-of-me,,, smile

  27. Hugh Williamson profile image89
    Hugh Williamsonposted 7 years ago

    A guy walks into the doctor's office...

    Patient: "Doc, every time I drink coffee, I get a pain in my eye.

    Doctor: "Don't leave the spoon in the cup."

  28. Extinct Soul profile image58
    Extinct Soulposted 7 years ago

    (just before christmas, apple and orange was on the fridge)

    apple: yiiiiii..iiiit's coooold in herrrre...

    orange: ohmagosh..the apple is talking!!

    smile

  29. profile image0
    jerrylposted 7 years ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To show the raccoons it could be done.

  30. Bill Manning profile image73
    Bill Manningposted 7 years ago

    My friend who works at the funeral home was telling me it's a tough job. Do those caskets weigh a lot I asked?

    Yeah they do he said,,, you know,,, all that dead weight,,,

  31. Urbane Chaos profile image97
    Urbane Chaosposted 7 years ago

    Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

    It's horrible, I know.. after almost two weeks thinking about it I finally got it, and couldn't stop laughing.

    I know, I'm strange. neutral

    1. Ivorwen profile image70
      Ivorwenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I love that one.  My brother use to tell it all the time, and it was always funny watching peoples reactions.  big_smile

    2. timorous profile image83
      timorousposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The first two men were talking on cellphones, the third guy wasn't. big_smile

  32. Ivorwen profile image70
    Ivorwenposted 7 years ago

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?



    Where ever you left him.

  33. timorous profile image83
    timorousposted 7 years ago

    A sign in a funeral home reads:

    "Remains to be seen..."

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Just funny bad joke coming from this one kid

      Why do women were perfume and make up

      Because they are ugly and smell bad

  34. brimancandy profile image76
    brimancandyposted 7 years ago

    Two guys are walking down the side of the road and they see a German Sheppard licking itself. The one guy looks at the other and says "I wish I could do that." And the other guy says. "maybe if you are real nice and pet him first, he might let you."

    Next!

    A blonde is walking down the road and she sees another blonde in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat. And, she stops and yells at her. "What the hell are you doing!" The other blonde replies. "I am trying to get to shore!"

    The blonde in the road says. "Oh you stupid bitch! You are giving all of us blondes a bad name! And, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass!"

  35. profile image0
    jerrylposted 7 years ago

    Ad in a newspaper

    Bulldog for sale.  House trained, good watch dog, cuddly,
    eats anything, especially fond of children.

  36. profile image0
    Toby Hansenposted 7 years ago

    A blonde phoned roadside assistance.
    The operator asked her what the problem was with her car.
    Well, she said, the indicators aren't working... now they are... now they aren't...

  37. profile image0
    jerrylposted 7 years ago

    Sign on a radiator repair shop.

    Best place in town to take a leak.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)