Why is that when we need something the most, it just seems to completely disappe

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   Shamila Bensonposted 11 years ago

   Why is that when we need something the most, it just seems to completely disappear?
   
   I have seen this happening so much that I now consider it a scenario in every possible move I make.
   Whether it be money or support from a loved one, they just don;'t come up during the time when we need them the most. Sometimes they do but most of the time they don't. I'm wondering where does the fault lie?
   Is it our failure which brings it upon us or is it that are life completely depends on our fate & we are out of luck at that time.

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   ChristinSposted 11 years ago

   Actually, when you take an empowered approach to life, you find often on hindsight that you did get exactly what you needed at the moment.  What you want and what you need are not always the same thing.  As for supportive people, if you have those around you who are unsupportive - ask yourself if they are that way because they feel you are doing something in error and are concerned for you - or if they are doing it maliciously to sabotage you.  If the latter, distance yourself from those people and work to find new people who will encourage you to do your best etc. 
   
   What we believe becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  What you perceive defines your experience.  Feeling shorted in life?  Think of others who would be thrilled to have what you have - and then be humbled and grateful.  Many are homeless, starving, uneducated, living in ruins around the world each day.  Be thankful for what you have been given and then stay in that mindset and you'll be surprised at the doors that open up in life. 
   
   People who empower themselves become successful.  People who feel victimized by life or "cheated" etc. do not usually find success until they change their mindset and attitude.
   
   I believe wholeheartedly we create our own "fate" with our choices.  Sometimes things happen beyond our control yes - such is life, but we are always in control of how we respond to life if we choose to be conscious of it.

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      Dave36posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Christin S that's great advice, & i just wanted to let you know..That when i started writing mine your post wasn't on here, that's why i didn't mention anything about what you said.

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      Cristaleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.

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   Dave36posted 11 years ago

   I'm pretty sure that we're here to learn & to grow, so we're sent things to deal with ourselves in order to do that..Now if we don't get what we want, then it's simply not what we really wanted/needed..When we know what it really is that we want/need, there will be no stopping us getting it, & we don't/won't need any help from others..It's certainly not failure when it doesn't happen, it just means we're looking in the wrong places or for the wrong things..For example would you really want to be rich & famous?, or would you rather be fulfilled then content in life?..It's great & essential to have a plan of how to get what our heart desires, & "not" what our mind desires..Then we get started, only when we know what that is..Then if something goes wrong along the way or doesn't work, all we do is tweak or adjust our plan as we learn about ourselves..I wouldn't say life is determined by fate, not unless we don't ask ourselves deep down what that thing is we want the most..For example most people do jobs they don't really love in order to get loads of cash, to buy things they think will lead them to contentment..So their fated, & destined to never be content..So when ever a person doesn't get what they "think" they need, instead of becoming upset etc they should see it as being steered guided directed, to what they really need/want in life..One thing you've got to remember though is that it doesn't happen over night, i mean if it did everyone would be doing it!lol..If your interested in what i wrote start another thread, & i'll give you some good tips on how to find everything you want in life..I mean there is only one person who can get it & that's you, however i can tell you how to get started....Just out of curiosity what job would you leap out of bed for, & look forwards to doing on a cold wet Monday morning?.

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   xanderbluposted 11 years ago

   I cried once for 200 days straight. Not non-stop of course, but a good spell at least once a day. I didn't really know that was even possible. It was exhausting and I was barely functioning.
   
   But something sort of magical happened as well. I started to see myself in others. Not me literally, but me the person in pain. I just started to recognize it by the way others would carry themselves or stare sadly out the window. And I may not have always been right but it did make me realize something about the way we look at each other. Too often what we see when we look at others is essentially the reflection of ourselves in a pool of water. We see our own biases or we see what we want to see (or don't want to see), and in so doing we too often miss the depth of what lies beneath.
   
   Life can be hard. Sometimes we all just have too much weight to carry. There's no shame in that. Unfortunately, people aren't always going to see that, so sometimes we just need to ask for help. We weren't designed to get anywhere entirely on our own. There's nothing wrong of course with individual strength but we are always more powerful in unison.
   
   You sound like someone who could use a little help with your burdens and I really hope you find it because what you said on your profile just makes me want to cry some more.

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   Shamila Bensonposted 11 years ago

   Thanks xanderblu for your support.
   I have tried a lot but still not enough to tackle all situations of my life. Maybe all the source of these difficulties is the point that in this world of so many humans, I'm still alone & without anyone having my back. There used to be a time when I had everything I ever wanted & now I have nothing whatsoever. Maybe I don't need them but you said we weren't designed to stand without help. I don't know if I'm doing any good or bad. I'm entirely confused & yes I  have cried too silently. I just feel like I'm gonna break down any moment now.

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      ChristinSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Can you seek some professional counseling? It sounds like you could benefit by learning some coping skills and new life skills.  There's no shame in seeking professional guidance.

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      Shamila Bensonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Christin, I don't know whether I should. I just feel like this will pass away soon. I don't know what to say & I think I'm too young for coounseling.

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      ChristinSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I got counseling for depression as a teenager. No one is too young for professional help. Other people don't make you happy, there are many lonely married people for example.  Happiness is a choice you have to learn how to find it. Good luck to you

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      xanderbluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Don't think of it as counseling. It's just someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Not much different from what you have done here, just closer. American universities usually have free counseling services. Not sure about India, but you could check.

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