HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE DEBT
If any of you are a Baby Boomer like me, then you are more than likely familiar with the Cold War Classic, “Dr, Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb.” This film was Stanley Kubrick’s homage to Cold War trepidation on the part of all citizens of an uncertain world of the nuclear bomb.
The concept behind Strangelove is that USAF Gen. Jack T. Ripper goes a little off the sanity reservation and orders the B-52s in his command to attack the Ruskies!!! With Nukes!!! Oh Boy!!!!
Naturally, the joint chiefs are slightly miffed at Jack’s lack of respect for the chain-of- command and the POTUS is somewhat pissed also. The movie is one failed attempt after another to recall these bombers before the deadly deed is done. The POTUS takes to the “hot line” to assure the Soviet Premier that this not an ordered mass attack but the fact that the Soviets had already developed and deployed (just not yet informed the WORLD) a DOOMSDAY weapon which would automatically destroy the entire EARTH in the event of just such an attack as was now underway regardless of why!!!!!!! Needless to say failure to inform everyone that you have a doomsday weapon radically reduces its effectiveness in preventing a nuclear attack.
I think it’s time for some latter-day Kubrick to treat the National debt and the subject of default in a similar manner. I will give a brief outline of my vision of the remainder of the WORLD governments trying to collect a BAD DEBT from the only badass on the planet!!!! Does anyone else think that a threat to default made in secret by the US to our twenty biggest lenders might actually put us in the best bargaining position possible. I think we should try to get our interest rates cut drastically to avoid throwing the WORLD”S ECONOMIES into meltdown. Initially we must say this will at least insure your principal, LMFAO . Yeah, we lose but we got to spend it once anyway and everyone loses as bad or worse than we do!!!!!! Folks, what I am saying here is that the US needs to embrace its National Debt and see it like a doomsday weapon. Our threat of a possible default to all creditors is a GAME ENDER!!!!!! That’s right, not CHANGER BUT ENDER!!!! Can you imagine the chill running up every creditor spine as well as all developed and developing nations, when thought of Fiscal Apocalypse engendered by OUR Default is envisioned?
DEFAULT LANGUAGE CHANGES
Once the government of the United States recognizes the positive possibilities of threatening and maybe actually defaulting, the language around the topic takes on new meaning. Let us use our imaginations to consider the possibilities of the present meaning and future meaning of the following in that light.
Public Statement made by some future POTUS.
What POTUS is saying to creditors privately.
OK fellow leaders. Let’s put it right out there. I was talking to a loan shark the other day and he informs me that once you idiots let us get past $6 trillion you had committed a cardinal sin in shylockism. You let us get to the point where defaulting hurt you worse than us. We can avoid all those nasty interest payments not to mention that pesky $15+ trillion in principal!!! Bwaugh HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! Louie the shark also said you never get in this situation with someone whose organization can kick your ass. C’mon guys, how you gonna collect??? You gonna threaten us with military action???? Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!! You expect us to take that contract for ya BOOPIE???? Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Learn to love the debt. This is really fun to play. Every time you hear some official making grim statements about the debt publicly, try to construct what they are cackling in private. Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try another one. S & P releases another statement threatening to lower US credit rating, which it says will cause our interest rate to rise compounding our debt problems. OK, now some US official publicly states we must avoid this at all costs. However that same official shows up at S & P’s home office for a private conference. Here’s how it starts. Thank you for meeting with me today concerning your statement on US creditworthiness. OK Jacks, knock that crap off. Talk to one creditor about how scared all of them are that we may default and you will see we are still holding the whip. We can turn this place into a dairy if we want to so stop badmouthing Uncle Sam. Sammy’s pissed and doesn’t like it!!!! Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s how it ends!!!!!!! Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must fight the urge to go on and on with countless examples of DEFAULT NEW SPEAK, but I must stop. A great deal of the fun with this concept is in letting you develop your own scenarios and play them out.
I will give one more possibility but allow each of you to develop your own dialogue. Imagine the delight and glee in the voice of new Secretary of The Treasury, Donald Trump, as he addresses our foreign “partners” informing them of their predicament. Bwaugh HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fellow hubbers go with it and don’t forget to share them with us!!!!!