Do you think divorces are taken too lightly or rushed into?

1. 60

   shynslyposted 14 years ago

   Do you think divorces are taken too lightly or rushed into?
   
   I've seen statistics stating that the divorce rate in the U.S. after 5 to 10 years is anywhere from 30-50%. What are your thoughts on that? Do you think it's good or bad? As in, for today's society, do we take marraige too lightly and too readily file for divorce, or is it more of a mistake to stay together if you just don't get along anymore. And how do kids factor into it, is it better that they see Mom and Dad split up but civil to each other, or together, but constantly fighting?

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2. 61

   mr. daydreamposted 14 years ago

   Marrying a person only a year (or shorter) within knowing them is far too soon. That's probably one of the main reasons for the high divorce rate. Like anything else in life, relationships take time and work to be successful.

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3. 58

   legallchewposted 14 years ago

   i think divorce has become common and it shouldn't be.
   
   most people who filed for divorce are just confused and some did rush into marriage. and for those who didn't one or both would probably be in jail if not dead.

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4. 0

   Edliraposted 14 years ago

   In my opinion, yes, sometimes people rush into divorce a bit too quickly, not having given their relationships all chances for it to work.
   A relationship is hard work and if you don't expect this already from the honey moon stage, than you re up for a bitter surprise.
   Some are fast to run in search of greener pastures, just to find out, once there, they weren't that green afterall. And if kids are involved that means you should be even more careful and considerate before you take your decision.
   I am not a fan of "everything for children's sake", becase just staying together (while still toxic to each-other, and not caring) won't give them the safe and healthy environment they need to thrive and be happy. But, everything possible (to the point of not losing yourself in the relationship)  should be done to make a marriage work before it is thrown on the divorce attorney's table.

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5. 60

   C.V.Rajanposted 14 years ago

   It is true that marriages are taken too lightly now a days and people are indeed rushing to get divorced. I can guess several reasons for it:
   
   1) Womenfolk are increasingly becoming less and less patient.
   
   2) Financial freedom, education, independence, thrust on equality, seeking fun in a level playing field as men as regards sexual behavior -- these are the reasons for women becoming less and less patient.
   
   3) Men's temperament and mentality seems to remain almost same across generations. But, women have changed very drastically.  Women of previous generations were handicapped on account of lack of freedom, equality, financial independence etc etc and in order to protect themselves, they had to depend on men. That dependence gave them patience, love, loyalty, dedication, fear and the need for social respectability.
   
   4) The more women got and the better they became, the worse became their relationship with men.

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6. 61

   roadrockafellaposted 14 years ago

   I think it's being treated more of a commodity nowadays since it's just plain convenient. People consider this because it is provided as an option to them. In addition, the context of the social norm dictates divorce if it is acceptable or not.
   
   Marriage is taken as a vow and life long commitment. A couple should be married if both parties are prepared for a life changing event. You don't live for yourself anymore, but with a person and the family that you're gonna have.
   
   I think they should make a rule that you can only get married once in your life, unless you are widowed or something. I'll bet the rate of divorce will significantly drop.

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7. 80

   Wayne Brownposted 14 years ago

   Divorce is a tragic circumstance and one that cannot be appreciated unless you have endured the process. There are no winners...except the lawyers.  At the same time, the system involved in some states is absolutely agonizing. I have a close relative going through a divorce in a nearby state. She is basically sitting there watching her future ex either leverage or consume all the assets they accumulated over time. Meanwhile, the court system does nothing and has no particular schedule in terms of getting the divorce to the judge. The assumption is that if they are made to wait that they will eventually come to an agreement and the judge will not have to rule. Meanwhile, the assets are being consumed and all the judge will say when it finally does go to court is, "I am sorry but there is no way to undo this".  Many of these systems need to be revamped to a reasonable level of fairness and protection for both parties and the children as well. WB

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8. 66

   tenordjposted 14 years ago

   I think the divorce problem is something that has just become accepted. I think it stems from people rushing into marriage and taking the commitment of marriage seriously. I understand some people just cant get along and it happens but I think some just decide to give up way to easily.

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9. 60

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   From what I've read (when researching for writing about divorce), the statistics are misleading.  They factor in all marriages, of course; but that means including second and third marriages, as well as marriages that took place when the couple was under twenty-five and even under-twenty.
   
   Long story short, there's a very high divorce rate for third marriages, and the rate for second marriages is high (just not quite as high).   There's also a high rate of divorce among people who marry young (early twenties), with a slight decrease for people who marry between 25 and 29.
   
   What these statistics suggest is that people with second and third marriages account for a good-sized part of the divorce rate.  The reason those marriages fail are most likely related factors/complications associated with non-first marriages.  The statistics also suggest that people who marry young (very young, but even in their late twenties) have a higher rate of divorce (not anywhere near as high as second and third marriages).  I'm guessing it's because people in their twenties are still young, there's a good chance they don't have a good reading on what real love is and what a good relationship when they're choosing their partner.
   
   The divorce rate for people with first marriages in their thirties is actually fairly low (like 6%/8%, depending on whether it's men or women).
   
   Some people may get divorced too quickly, but I don't think that's the reason in most cases.  As far as children go, I think it depends on the people involved, the situation, and any number of other individual differences.

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10. 61

    Jarnposted 14 years ago

    Nope. I think it's weddings that are taken too lightly and rushed into. People take a little more care about who they wanna spend the rest of their lives with, maybe they won't realize a couple weeks later that they screwed up. I mean, come on, I've known guys who spend more time looking for a car than they did a spouse for crying out loud.

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11. 38

    Borsiaposted 14 years ago

    No. Once you know that it isn't going to work and have lost the desire to fight it you should get out with as little time wasted as posible.

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12. 59

    Mark Upshawposted 14 years ago

    They are taken too seriously and should be handed out like tickets, lottery tickets that is.

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