Why is the divorce rate so high in America?
It usually seas saws every years but always remains at 50% or more. Is divorce the new fad, like having an adopted a foreign child or a owning a tiny dog? I didn't get the memo.
Because no-one wants to remain committed to each other anymore. Fidelity seems to be a thing of the past.
1. Selecting the wrong mate.
Most people get married before they truly know who they are marrying. They spend more time planning the wedding than they do their lives together. (In fact quite a few people don't know themselves!) They haven't done the introspective thinking to figure out what they really want in a mate for life. Even if they have, it's likely to change as they evolve.
What you think is perfect at 22 may not be so good at 32. Both people have to be growing in the same direction and want the same things (in the long run). If you want to go (right) and your mate wants to go (left) then you aren't "right" for each other.
Opposites may attract for the short term but "Like attracts Like" for the long term.
2. People realize life is short and no one enjoys settling.
This happens when people marry someone they see as having "potential". However often times it goes unfulfilled.
Once someone realizes they can't "change" their mate in order to get what they want then they are left with 2 options.
a. Stay in the marriage and learn to "live without".
b. Get out and find someone who already "is" what you want.
3. They got married for the wrong reasons!
(An ultimatum was given, a pregnancy occurred, was tired of being single, had a age deadline, all of their friends were married, just because they have been together for so much time….etc) “A marriage based upon (circumstances) rather than (love) is likely to fail."
4. The stigma is gone. Much like Bankruptsy...etc so many people have been divorced or filed bankruptsy that the majority of people don't view it as a negative reflection on the individual.
In all honesty I don't believe the majority of couples get married planning to get divorced. (It all goes back to selecting the "wrong mate") Not that there really is a "right" or "wrong" but more or less it's about "agree" and "disagree". Ultimately we're all looking for someone who agrees with us on the majority of things!
"When we change, our circumstances change"
Dashing, I am only allowed to answer once in here and I am going to use it to completely agree with you 100%. You basically have the same exact answer to my question as I have. It's good to see that other people have the same idea.
Again, I highly recommend waiting for a better age to marry (than early 20's say, when you don't even know who you are yet).
There are a variety of reasons for the divorce rate, but primarily it is due to the fact that in American culture we are being conditioned for self gratification and selfishness. It is impossible to have a successful relationship when one or more party is selfish. It is also impossible for anyone to be happy when they are living for themself and not for others. It can become a viscous cycle, but it can be broken at any time one chooses.
I believe it actually starts with high school dating, which teaches young people to emotionally attach to each other with no commitment involved. After dating (and breaking up with) several different people, they are skilled in the art of divorce, at which point they come to the marrying age. Dating is essentially emotional fornication, so is it any wonder that so many marriages end in failure early on? When a young person saves their whole heart for their future spouse, and then enters the marriage covenant with real commitment to God and their spouse, you will find fidelity in that marriage.
btw, I was married at 19 and just celebrated 21 years!!
High teen pregnancy rates, young marriages and the lack of stigma attached to divorce and even infidelity nowadays. Also, i think that most people don't experience life whatsoever before they get married; before they even know anything about themselves, much less their mate. Plus, no one seems to be able to manage their money or raise their kids which adds tension and a cohabitating spouse is an accessible target for aggression.
We have to see many cases of divorce in America,mostly cases doing in America compare to other country in the world.I think the reason of behind this is that there are no culture and co respect of relation.
5 out of every 10 marriages end in divorce. The number one cause of divorce is financial issues, quite simply money.
However just a side fact as well, 1 in 5 of every divorce ends because the husband plays video games too often.
Because our national religion has become consumerism, because advertising of all kinds promotes sexism, because vanity is considered a virtue, and because each younger generation breeds less ethical, intelligent, and religious.
This could be a long answer, I don't want to get too worked up so early in the morning though.
Statistics actually show we're at the lowest rate of teen pregnancy since the 1970s. I agree that much of the stigma is gone from divorce so more people consider it as an option instead of trying to work through difficult points in their relationship. Also, because in most families both partners are working, I think there is greater difficulty for both people to pursue their goals. One person's promotion might raise a conflict with another's job aspirations when it requires moving to another city, for example.
It's also possible we as a society are getting beyond marriage. The idea of "marriage", of ceremonially bonding yourself to another person in the eyes of God and law has become a religious ceremony, and thus a part of our culture. It's served other purposes in the past, cementing relationships between families, tribes and nations or as payment of debts and exchanges of wealth. Cultures evolve and change over time. Marriage might be one of those ideas that is becoming archaic and will eventually become the exception instead of a norm.
As others have said getting married far too young and not knowing what they really want or even who they are.
Of course shotgun weddings seldom succeed in the end, if they do stay together they are seldom happy.
And far from our ideas about life together over time people change, passion melts into routine and if there aren’t common interests outside the home and there is little connection.
Relationships take a lot of work and that never stops.
All too often couples raise their children only to find that when the children leave home they are living with a stranger with few or no common interests.
I see people comparing divorce rates in the US with other countries and that has flaws. As an example I have lived in China and in South America and while divorce rates are lower separation rates are often higher.
In Catholic countries getting a divorce is more complicated so people don’t bother they just go. This is especially true of men walking out of a marriage or having multiple families. The majority of women I meet are single mothers who’s husband have left, if they were ever actually married.
It is because of the fact that they lead a freedom based life and feel lazy in maintaining the relationship as they frequently jump in and out of it. When they are asked for forever relationship, they feel it hard to handle which ultimately do not work in lasting relationship like marriage etc..
Because we live in a "throw away society" and because it seems to be easier to divorce than to stay and work on the marriage. That pretty much sums it up.
I believe its because people are getting married without thinking about what level of sacrificing needs to be instituted. I know just off who the people around me that are married argues mainly because they still live as if their signal. Real love is putting your spouse before yourself even if they don't do the same. Eventually they will attempt to make a change when they see there husband or wife doing everything to express their devotion of love to them.
Combination of a whole bunch of factors. Has to do with relationships, how they start, how much time is being spend with each other and what type of person the spouse is. Being married does not grant a license to do whatever you want. You need to keep working on the relationship or it falls apart.
In America the biggest problem is time. Everyone is so independent minded and so busy that people just drift apart. Without that problem being rectified or in some way addressed, marriages will continue to fail.
Some people think they have found 'the one' and jump too quickly into the relationship, blinded by love instead of using logic...or teen pregnancy for all i know...there are too many ways and reasons i lost track.
It is much easier and more socially acceptable to get a divorce in America. Women also make much more money in America than in other parts of the world, so if they decide to get a divorce they can support themselves financially ( They would be less inclined to get a divorce if they couldn't). I don't see it as a bad thing, but a good thing. It means that less people are living in unhappy marriages. Some people argue that divorce is tough on children, but my parents were divorced and I can say without a doubt that I would prefer two households to one where everyone was yelling at each other. Overall I think women's rights plays a key role.
Sorry for such a long answer!
There has been recent studies showing that that majority of divorces in generalization is primarily caused by financial difficulties. That can occur if either spouse is acting irresponsibly, or rack up a huge amount of debt. If you had a spouse that maxed out your credit card, wouldn't you not be livid? I'm sure that would spark arguments for days or even years.
hmm. seems everybody has answered it for you, but I don't see it as a surprise since our culture (US) is 2 faced anyways. They talk about hate crimes and then they block gay marriage. They talk about bullying and yet they want to tax obese people who are overweight. They talk about equal rights and they want to know your religion, race and gender on your job application. I mean we talk about love and self respect, but we go harassing people about their sexual orientation and objectify people because of their weight, size of the male's package and whether the chick's waist is smaller then her breast size. How messed up is that? Of course Divorce is rampant in this country.
I would actually say we might not be genetically programmed for long term relationships.
Consider in the past there was death which broke up marriages after short periods.
A woman was at her most perillous age when pregnant or soon after child birth. There was a shock at my wedding here in the US when I refused to turn and watch my bride come down the aisle. In my home region in England to see the bride come down the aisle is considered bad luck. Seeing her veiled in that way the groom is said to be seeing her shrouded and in the coffin.
Men also did not live especially long lives either, so in a world where the average age of death may be 40 upwards, marriage in the late teens or early twenties might only last a few years.
Culture still dictates we marry early in our twenties but with longer life spans the need to stay together may not be there.
In answer, divorce may be the new death. Maybe something to accept rather than condone or condemn.
I have a simple answer. But I dont think many will agree with me. It has to be due to the American's culture.
Compare to Asia, we hardly hear people divorce.
It could be due to our culture and strong rooted beliefs.
she wakes up in the morning and looks at his face,
he probably interests her more than the one she was with during the last few days;
well, he's smart, intelligent and often tempting,
"lets just get married" ,she tells him, while he's sleeping;
the guy scratches his nose and replies with a yawn,
"tomorrow honey.....I'll positively finish all my work till the break of the dawn";
she pulls back the blanket letting just one more thought come to her before she falls back again to sleep,
it wasn't that important thought, yet she payed to it some heed;
"would my parents accept him, giving him the place of my previous husband?"
"aahh! we'll see about that later, as it is divorces are much easier to plan!!";
and just when (in her slumber) she got engrossed in her list 'TO DO',
she woke up in excitement and whispered, "OMG divorces are economical (as a means of earning) too!!"
the best way through which i could have given my opinion..
P.S. hope your able to read in between the lines..
First reason is women. In modern age, especially in west, women is perplexed about her role in life. Actually women is made for and evolved to serve man. That's the best thing women can do. The main purpose of women is to be a wife, mother, sister, granny etc.. but nowadays women are CEO, MD, Stock broker etc...
Second reason is men. Women will be very happy if their men care them a lot, Women want nothing else than care from men. And most women are ready to live for their husbands if husbands are caring. But husbands become indecent enough to neglect their wives.
The reason for divorce is simple.
Women forgot their role in life. Men became arrogant or careless.
Simple answer. Repeat offenders. Divorce is a good societal tool that allows people to get out of bad relationships, but statistics show that if an individual is divorced and remarries there is an increased chance that person will fallback on divorce to solve their relationship problems again. Removed the repeat offenders from the divorce statistics and you will a normal divorce rate rather than the HUGE number people keep poking at. Still, being aware of the potential issue is good. The family is increasingly under attack and if we are aware of the possibility of this then spouses and families can be prepared and ready to work things out rather than using divorce as a first resort.
I personally think that a lot of marriages end because of money. I'm not married but I know a lot of people that fight and fight because they either aren't making enough money or one of them is spending the money. To me that's a good bit of it, but I suppose there are many reasons. Compatibility, mannerisms, cheating. You name it, it's a reason for divorce.
because people are always demanding.. less giving and less tolerant.
Many don't realize the seriousness of the vows spoken before God. Selflessness is the one word that explains the problem.
The divorce rate is most certainly not 50% or more. This figure was obtained through logical error. I don't know why so many people toss it around like it's true.
You see, (at least in the USA) there are about twice as many marriages performed in a given year as there are divorces. But you can't just put these two numbers together in a fraction and say "half of all marriages end in divorce". Wrong. Logical error. This would require that ALL of the people getting a divorce in a given year had also just gotten married that same year. This, of course, is obviously not the case.
The 50% divorce rate "statistic" fails to account for all couples who were married prior to the year of study and who are STILL married after. It also doesn't account for all of the divorces that happen to couples who have been married for over a year. This is a HUGE number of people totally left out, rendering the "50% figure" totally bogus.
No reputable study has ever found the divorce rate to be 50% or even close. Somewhere around 5-10% (varying by year) is far more accurate, based actual studies. In fact, 10% is likely an overestimation. And on the whole, the divorce rate in America has actually been on the decline for the past several decades.
Learned all this from research I did in college sociology.
They've been trying to get the memo read by everyone. First it was the allowance of divorce. I think there were so many sighs of relief that Chicago became the windy city. Then divorce became easier to obtain. Then there were live in relationships and common law marriages. And now it is as fast and easy to divorce as it is to get married in Las Vegas or Reno. It takes longer to get drunk enough to select the lucky lady as a bride than the license and vows, and even faster to grant the divorce. The door hasn't even slammed shut to the courthouse and the divorce is granted.
We have become a society of convenience. It's easier to quit the marriage than to deal with everyday issues. I realize some unions need to end (abuse,neglect,etc.), but we end relationships because we disagree on something??? Different opinions is what makes us human.
When I was 18 and married (with an infant son) a certain man at work kept trying to seduce me but I wouldn't let him. He told me my husband was cheating on me, so why shouldn't I? Rumors start up, especially targetting women, I think. For instance: If your husband is temporarily out of work, others might make remarks to insinuate that he is lazy and having the wife support him. Or, the other way around. If you have a home-maker wife and yet you are still struggling with finances, others might blame her/him. After listening to this stuff for months, and then your family puts their 2 cent's worth, in, that can cause mistrust and resentment. If someone is late coming home numerous times (for valid reasons) one might still suspect treachery. It's sad to know there are those always wanting to drag someone down.
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