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What Is Your Best Advice On What To Say When Someone Dies?
When someone dies it is a difficult time for everyone. There are usually many family and friends that are going to be affected emotionally. What can you suggest are some of the appropriate things to say to others in regards to condolences and offering sympathy?
Keep it short, keep it sincere. It's not what you say, it's your presence that makes the difference. To attempt to say something that wil take away the pain is presumptuous. Pain is the measure of a persons love for the deceased. What the grieving one needs is not wise or profound speech but a reliable friend or family member who offers him the space and time to grieve while at the same time being present. Pick one or two obvious needs and do them without asking. And don't stop engaging the grieving one when everyone else has moved on. That's when the pain is at its worse.
To continue doing/sharing whatever good the deceased had inspired, to those still alive. Let the death be the grand reminder to be grateful for people who still by one's side.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. A smile or a hug can relay your sentiment equally as well. Almost everyone has experienced the loss of a loved one. We have all been there.
If one must express their feelings verbally, ask how the living are doing - those close to the deceased that are grieving. Afterall, that's really why one addresses the loss.
Keep it short and and tell them you will see them soon.
"I'm sorry" and "Please know I'm there for you if you need anything at all." Don't say all the usual things..."they're in a better place", "it will get easier with time"...just let them know you really care. And follow up with some calls to let them know you're thinking of them.
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