If you are married or have been married, what is the BEST advice you have to share?
It is not a secret that relationships are hard work! Even those that love each other much must go through the ups and downs of marriage. What advice would you give to a newly married couple? What do many newlyweds NOT understand? What are the key ingredients to a healthy, long-lasting, marriage?
Learn to keep your mouth shut if the other partner is on a rampage or hot temper. You dont need to feed the fire with gasoline. Marriage is not all fun, so if you expect life to be as fun as it is when you guys are single guess again.
Talk on every step or direction you take specially decision that would affect you guys financially. Support each other dream
Respect each other for who they are and not what you want them to be.
and the list goes on.
But one important thins is trust. Once broken is hard to restore.
Don't buy into the "relationships are hard work!" line. It will only lead you to stay in bad relationships far longer than you need to. The "hard work" is in finding and selecting (the right mate). If it's real "hard work" you are probably with the wrong person.
My advice is to know exactly what you want and need in a mate. Have the discipline to stick to your "shopping list". Don't fall in love with "potential". You want someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to spend your life with. Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine. Like attracts like for the long term.
Once you have found someone who "gets you", wants the same things from a relationship that you do, and (naturally agrees) with you on how to obtain them then the so called "work" actually becomes "a labor of love". Finding the "right" mate for one's self is the hard work. You have to want the same things relationship wise to have a great partnership.
As for key ingredients for a lasting marriage awhile back I wrote a hub with my take. http://hubpages.com/hub/therecipeforrel … phappiness
My best advice is simple - talk. Talk and learn about each other as much as you can. Learn about differences between men and women, learn how to say things that the other half would understand. The fact we love each other so deeply and feel like we were one, doesn't mean we actually are.
We see the world through different lenses and we need a lot of honest and open communication before we can try to see the world through our partner's lenses.
Also explore the meaning behind words, things like success, freedom or respect may mean something completely different to each of you, so don't assume it's the same what you think - find out what is it for your partner.
Showing your love - some people want words, other want deeds or gestures - show your love in a way your partner wants, not you.
For both parties. Seek to be like the all loving God...have this pursuit as the center of your lives. Seek God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.
If both of you do this you will find great happiness together.
NEVER forget the reason(s) that you originally fell in love with your partner and keep that alive. Remind yourself often!
All the stories end with and they got married and lived happily ever after. Many people forget that the wedding is the beginning of the marriage. Marriage takes work every single day. It takes tolerance and understanding and the realization that you can love someone and sometimes not like them that particular day. Marriage does not mean that you suddenly are joined at the hip.
I think forgiveness is very important otherwise a couple will never outgrow the smallest of issues. Once you forgive, you see the other with fresh eyes. Every partner needs to learn the love language of the other . . . since every person is unique. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is worth reading too.
I hope this helps.
The best advice about marriage is that it is important to keep one's identity and that includes financially as well. Love is a many splendid thing but with time and familiarity, relationship changes. With the onset of reality, one got to be aware of changes that could indicate unfaithfulness and not be so much in love to rationalize that which is obvious.
Open line of communication! If you do not have communication you can pretty much bet your marriage is doomed
Number one would be to temper your expectations. While marriage can be wonderful, it can be very trying at times as well. Like the Bible says, "Those who desire to marry will have trouble in this life."
Probably the best recipe for success is to always put the other person's needs and wants ahead of your own. IF (a big if) you can always hold to that, you will do well.
Awesome question!! My wife and I have been together over 3 years and we have been married 3 months so far. I've asked a ton of people the same question you're asking. Patience is so so important. You and whomever you married are going to have different opinions and values about different things. Unless something could harm you emotionally or physically, be understanding. Don't be quick to get angry and do reciprocate loving acts. For instance I've always brought my wife flowers randomly even before we got married. We tell each other how much we love each other all the time. If your husband or wife does something that makes you mad or hurts you, let them know in a loving way. Arguments start when someone starts yelling and words start flying and God knows what else. There are going to be times that you must hold your tongue even though your furious! In the bible there's a book called Proverbs. This book is one of my favorites, it tells you basically what to do and what not to do to have a successful life. One of the verses says "A soft tongue can break bones." Which means you'll get your point across better in a peaceful manner than you would yelling. Don't be quick to turn into Samuel L. Jackson on your spouse:) Oh yeah if things get really crazy, hide all of the sharp objects! LOL Just kidding about that last part. You know what? Nevermind, hide the sharp stuff: I hope this helped:)
I wont be all negative about it. But I have known one thing for sure that you cant be yourself after marriage. We live our life for everyone but us. I feel a lot has been taken out of me with nothing to gain.
But yes Marriage has good sides too. Cant think of one right now.
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