Why do we wait until someone dies to celebrate their life?

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   Steve Witschelposted 11 years ago

   Why do we wait until someone dies to celebrate their life?
   
   I've had two friends pass away in the past two weeks - both much too young. My Facebook newsfeed has been loaded with tributes, pictures, stories and videos. Maybe it's time that we start to honor people we care about in the same manner while they're still alive.

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   MrsGray32posted 11 years ago

   I agree that we should all be honored and cherished while we are alive  I also know that sometimes life can get in the way and its sometimes hard to express your thoughts and wishes as much as you would like to.  So sometimes sadly it happens after the fact. I don't think it means that that person means more now than they did before.  Maybe its a way for people to heal. 
   I know in one instance, a celebration of life was actually my family members last wishes.  He did not want us sitting around feeling sad cause he was no longer here in his physical form.  He wanted us to celebrate his healthy years. The happy memories.
   I am sorry for your lose there are not right ways to coop with it.  We all heal in different ways and at different speeds.  Best wishes to you.

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   LastRoseofSummer2posted 11 years ago

   In the 1954 movie "Brigadoon", there is a moment when Gene Kelly's character says: "Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean?" We all forget that, someday, the people we love are going to die. There are so many stories about people realizing they didn't say "I love you" until it was too late. It is a human fault that we all forget about what is important until it is taken away. But just because we all do it, doesn't mean that it is alright. Sorry if this sounds trite, but we all should do better about paying attention to what matters and letting people know, while they are alive, that they are wanted and loved.

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   Laura Schneiderposted 11 years ago

   I'm so sorry for your losses!
   
   I think that celebrating birthdays yearly, graduations, anniversaries, and other such lifetime achievements is how many people generally do this--gradually over a person's lifetime. But, due to the shocking finality of death all kinds of stories and memories come out at once as part of the survivors' grieving process, and it can be heartwarming and overwhelming all at once: a final celebration of the person's life.
   
   I think that remembering to celebrate each lifetime achievement in grand style is the best way of honoring people we care about throughout their lives.

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   CraftytotheCoreposted 11 years ago

   I had a cousin that passed away fairly young.  His wife passed away before he did.  They left behind a son.  I too often wondered why no one had gotten to know him before he passed. 
   
   One day, a year after my cousin's passing, his mother was standing in line at the grocery store with a cake she was purchasing for the get-together she was having.  She was having a few close friends and family over to have a candle light remembrance.  A customer in the grocery store saw the cake.  On it was a picture of my cousin before he had brain surgery.  The customer said, "I know that man!"  It turned out it was one of my cousin's friends from school. 
   
   He was such a happy guy and always so giving to others.  But many people did not concern themselves with him until he passed away.  They never got to know him.

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   Smirelesposted 11 years ago

   I am truly sorry for your loss. My relatives are aging and in the past three years I have lost two cousins, two uncles, two aunts and my mother. I lost a brother and my father more than twenty years ago. I am not seeking sympathy, just establishing my credentials give my opinion. I have a large family. It is truly important to honor, love and show respect to your friends and loved ones while they are alive. One of the most difficult losses I suffered was the wife of my former pastor. She was a loving woman who valued everyone she met. The celebration of life after the loss is not for them. The memorial service or life celebration is for the survivors. Each of us must find closure and at some point move forward. It is not easy to let our loved ones go. I have strong beliefs about the after life and find comfort. I am a christian and a believer in Jesus Christ. This gives me comfort and hope. Take time to explore your belief system and you will be comforted and find hope. Blessings.

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   cat on a soapboxposted 11 years ago

   Hi Steve,
   An old friend recently lost her husband of 40 years after a lengthy illness and she posted stories and photos on social media sites long before he passed. I agree w/ other commenters here that we typically celebrate life through milestone events or through sharing entertaining stories when getting together; however, these are usually w/ family or in more intimate groups. I believe that one should always tell a person how much they mean to you when you have the opportunity instead of waiting. We can only be certain of the moment. I am sorry for your loss and wish you peace.

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   IDONOposted 11 years ago

   I never say that I read a good book until after the words " The End" and I close the cover. All of these tributes and accolades are presented for us; not the deceased. It's a summation if you will. It is also the last opportunity to instill a desired memory of that person. So, we try to fill in the blanks for those that don't know of their accomplishments. It's all about creating a memory of goodness.

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