Is it us or is it them that cause our low self-esteem?
Each person is unique and special in her or his right. Yet some struggle with their own assessment of the perception they give to others, which, amongst other things, leads to low self-esteem. Does that tell you that it is their "fault" or that of "others"? EG: Someone asks here "How long did it take you to reach 1000 views, or how much are you making on adsense. Some are reluctant to answer while others might answer but "round it off" to better results. Maybe they feel that the readers will see them in enhanced tones. Does this happen to you or someone you know well ?
I see two ways of tackling this. Because you have a paragraph in the body of your question, I will say that self-preservation is a must for all, and mostly we are also exercising this, consciously or unconsciously, when answering questions. We wish to protect ourselves or otherwise are engaged in self-love.
As far as the main question is concerned, looked at from the standpoint of Spirituality, each individual is responsible for his or her's own action, and low or high self-esteem, always relates to how we feel inside. We measure the world by our own insecurities, fears or indeed strengths.
This world is a mirror, and can only reflect what we truly are. For the Saint, all life is beautiful, and this Universe is very friendly. There is always a much larger plan, of course, but it is not all, or indeed too many, who are given the gift to appreciate what's truly going on. Nice question. Much Love.
Let's see, from a sociological perspective, there are a lot of reasons why a person might develop low self-esteem and most of the causes are external. Lack of parental support during childhood, predisposition for being quiet or introverted - making it difficult to connect with people, messages from society or mass media telling us we're not good enough the way we naturally are, etc.
Some people are prone because of internal factors like mental illness that disrupts the way they think or perceive reality.
I say it takes two.
Other people put ideas in our heads that cause us to self doubt and undervalue ourselves. They do it to hurt us either for a moment or worse, so they are not off the hook for the damage they do.
But not rejecting their input is our mistake and our problem for internalizing it. Some of us grow up damaged by this. As children we accepted anything others who were supposed to love us told us mostly. As adults we should kick back and reject that crap.
Thank you to the 3 Hubbers who took the time to read and respond.
I have enjoyed reading all that you wrote, and I note, that it is interesting that each has looked at the question from a different angle.
Each one was good in its own way, but unfortunately I cannot record three, but one best answer.
by Ken Crow 7 years ago
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by S Lynn Mitchell 2 years ago
Do you think promiscuity and low self-esteem go hand in hand?I have seen many woman randomly give their most precious possession (their bodies) to anyone that would take it. I'm not one to police ANYONE'S sex life, but I can't understand why a woman would risk pregnancy, communicable diseases, and...
by Chelsea Rowe 3 years ago
How would you raise the self-esteem of an 8 year with a low self-concept?My son has Tourette Syndrome and anxiety. He has had a low self-esteem since about the age of 4. He is bright and does well in school, but has social skills deficits. He loves being with friends, but tries to control...
by Madison 7 years ago
I was asked this question today by another site. Can you be happy and have low self esteem at...the same time? My ans is, I don't think you can be fully happy. What is your answer?
by Damanee 3 years ago
Is it a good idea to fall in love, when your self esteem is low?Often times we fall in love, because the person of our dream (often pretending) make us feel good about ourselves. They could be during this because they want something from us.
by YEisHere 4 years ago
If high self-esteem generates respect for others why does low self-esteem create dis-respect?A male friend of mine insists that he 'cares' about people yet he indulges in multiple relationships, calling them friendships since they are platonic, knowing full well that the women of these friendships...
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