What is having confidence vs. low self esteem?
You're considered crazy if you're grossly obese, yet tell others you're the perfect weight; you're considered crazy if you're driving an old Kia, yet tell others you're driving a brand new Bentley; yet, you're considered to have low self-esteem if you're very unattractive and admitted, instead of telling others that you're good looking! Okay, be it looks are subjective to some degree, - but not that subjective...isn't having self-confidence telling it like it is?
Confidence is usually associated with one's belief that they lack the ability to complete a particular task successfully.
Having low self-esteem is for the most defined as someone that (lacks love of self). In any relationship they're usually a doormat and will allow people to walk all over them, they'll take verbal and physical abuse, accept a mate cheating on them and so forth.
People with low self-esteem don't believe they (deserve) to be respected, loved, and treated fairly. They usually do not have any "boundaries", "lines drawn in the sand" or "deal breakers" that would cause them to walk away from toxic relationships.
I don't believe a person who admits they're unattractive automatically has low self-esteem. I've known men who would quickly say;
"I know I'm not the best looking guy in the room (BUT) I have a great sense of humor, I'm financially secure, I enjoy traveling, my hobbies include.... and the list goes on and on."
A person with low self-esteem does not see anything (worthwhile) about them self. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses! The person with low self-esteem only acknowledges their weaknesses.
I'm referring to how society views us, not how we view ourselves. You could be so ugly as to make Freddy (N. Elm Street) look like Brad Pitt and still be confident. I'm asking about social stigmas and how unacceptable it is to admit you're ugly.
You said: "isn't having self-confidence telling it like it is?" Isn't telling it "like it is" telling the (whole) story. Instead of just stopping with "I'm fat". Self-confidence means you also acknowledge you have other attributes! You press on!
I'm not referring to subjective reality - I like onion rings and some people do not, etc. Society judges people without all the facts - you could look like Freddy and have more self-confidence than B. Pitt, but society wont ever believe you do.
"isn't having self-confidence telling it like it is" I don't think that is necessarily so, John. I really think Dashingscorpio is closer to the truth. For instance, I work with a lady who is grossly obese, but she has a strong personality. She does not have low self-esteem. She says "I know I'm fat, but I don't feel fat." People shake their heads and say that they wish she could lose weight before she has a heart attack, but nobody would think to question her self-esteem, her competence, or her confidence. On the other hand, I used to know a really nice-looking young woman who was in a one-sided marriage and did have low-self esteem. I don't believe we have to shout our lack of looks to the world. When a person has a high regard for himself or herself, most other people regard them highly, too, regardless of what they look like.
I believe you are describing some of these "fake" people. I know one gal who is short, weighs about 90 lbs., wears a fake derriere, and has had breast implants, yet she tells everyone that she has always been "curvy" (her word, not mine). After all the work she has had done and in her 4 inch heels, she really is whistle bait. What kind of self-esteem do you think she had/has? I truly don't know.
Great hearing from you... The way people look is irreverent (see my answer to dashingscorpio). My point is the way society views us. - Actually, unattractive people oftentimes have higher self-esteem than good looking ones do....
by S Lynn Mitchell 8 years ago
Do you think promiscuity and low self-esteem go hand in hand?I have seen many woman randomly give their most precious possession (their bodies) to anyone that would take it. I'm not one to police ANYONE'S sex life, but I can't understand why a woman would risk pregnancy, communicable diseases, and...
by Vapid Maven 12 years ago
Do you think men suffer from low self esteem as much as women do?I ask this because this morning I was googling this topic and notice that most of the articles I came across were written by women seemingly for women.
by Ken Crow 13 years ago
I want to start a discussion because, frankly I feel as though low self-esteem is a major problem today. 1. How did you overcome low self-esteem? 2. Do feel that by being a Christian aids in the recovery from suffering from low self-esteem? 3. Do you feel that praising children encourages that...
by Madison 13 years ago
I was asked this question today by another site. Can you be happy and have low self esteem at...the same time? My ans is, I don't think you can be fully happy. What is your answer?
by Tiffany 12 years ago
How do you deal with low self esteem?
by Devika Primić 10 years ago
Why low self esteem affects individuals?Low self-esteem is a problem with many individuals do you think children learn from their parents and that is how their lives are affected when older?
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |