I really like the "buttcoin" thingie, EW.
I received a video from Alabama where a guy said, "It's gettin' real people. Some crackhead girl wandered on my property--I guess she came off the parkway or something--and offered me a doughnut and a blow job for a roll of toilet paper.
I was jest goin' to warn you, the last time I seen her she was goin' that way." He pointed to an old house with a half eaten doughnut in his hand.