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Signs she is a keeper: Find out if the girl you are dating is marriage material

Updated on December 30, 2013

Is the girl you are dating a keeper? Is your heart telling you that your girlfriend is the one? Finding out if your girlfriend is marriage material is less of a science and more of a gut feeling based on love and life experience. This post skips over the glossy nonsense you would usually find in magazine columns and directly talks about habits, personality traits and behavior that are all signs of a girl who you would want to take home to your parents.

You know you've got yourself a soul mate if you never run out of things to talk about, even after being in a relationship for months and years.
You know you've got yourself a soul mate if you never run out of things to talk about, even after being in a relationship for months and years.

1) You love having conversations with her

When the puppy love fizzles out, the romantic chemistry between couples survive on their ability to enjoy conversations – right form the most meaningful talks to the silliest banter.

Your girlfriend is definitely special if you can keep having endless conversations with her without getting bored.

2) Your girlfriend is not an attention seeker

Being an attention grabber speaks a lot about someone's personality. It means that they want to be the center of attention wherever they are. People who display this kind of behavior can be very self-centered and may do anything it takes to have eyeballs on them.

If you can relate your girlfriend's behavior to this, it is probably better if you allow her and your relationship to mature before deciding if she is the one.

3) Your girlfriend really respects you

Respect is separate from attraction. Someone could be attracted to you, someone can fall in love with you but that still doesn't guarantee that they will respect you.

Respect is a feeling that has to come from within. If you can feel that your girlfriend really respects you not only as her boyfriend but as a person too, she is someone that you wouldn't want to lose.

Does she bluntly tell you when you are wrong or when you are about to goof up? She is only looking out for you.
Does she bluntly tell you when you are wrong or when you are about to goof up? She is only looking out for you.

4) She bluntly tells you when you are wrong

A girl who bluntly puts her foot down every time you are wrong is a woman you want to hang on to. She will be the person whose advice and opinions will be live-saving when you are in a typical 'frog in the well' situation.

Her blunt words may seem too harsh right now but when you get married and start a family, a wife who can foresee a mistake that is about to happen is a woman like no other.

5) She motivates you to pursue your goals

A girlfriend who motivates you to work hard to pursue your goals has one thing in mind for you – a better life. It also means that she wants you to realize your true potential and be successful in the long run.

You may not realize the importance of this facet of her personality if you are a teen or in your twenties. But this will matter a lot when you get married because you would ideally want your wife to be supportive of your career and life in general.

6) She is the first one you call when you are feeling low

Your girlfriend is a keeper if her voice makes you forget all your worries and talking to her makes you feel lighter any time you are feeling low. Here are a few signs:

  • She can sense over the phone when you need some pep talk
  • You believe that her advice generally helps you sort out problems
  • She is the first one you call when you feel depressed

When you get into your thirties and forties, your wife's support will be vital in helping you deal with common day to day problems. If your girlfriend displays this trait even right now, hold on to her tightly.

Do you look forward to cuddling with her for hours and hours?
Do you look forward to cuddling with her for hours and hours?

7) You look forward to cuddle with her

Romantic intimacy isn't just about sex. It is more about enjoy the closeness and togetherness without any sexual expectations.

If you feel the urge to cuddle with your girlfriend even after dating her for months and years, the spark in your relationship is much more than just physical attraction. It is something special and worth hanging on to.

8) She is totally over her exes

Past relationships can really affect the way someone perceives love and commitment. Bitter experiences with exes can have an impact on how your girlfriend handles your relationship.

If you are on your way to cement your relationship by proposing to your girlfriend, make sure that she doesn't carry any baggage from her previous ones. She should have made peace with her past.

9) She backs you up when your friends or family are trying to put you down

When your girlfriend backs you up even when your own friends or family try to put you down, it is a sign that she takes it personally when someone insults you or makes fun of you.

This is the protective side of her personality which steps in when she feels the need to support you in front of others.

Can you let all your guards down and feel comfortable being yourself with her in every situation?
Can you let all your guards down and feel comfortable being yourself with her in every situation?

10) You can be yourself in front of her: You feel at ease when you are with her

Everyone has facades to their personality which conveniently change depending on different situations and different people. This is totally natural because no one would want to behave the same way with their boss as they would with their best friend.

But at the end of the day when everyone comes home, they let their guard down while cuddling their worries away with their loved ones. If you can be yourself and can feel the same sense of comfort when you hang out with your girlfriend, you have something special.

11) Your sexual chemistry sizzles even after dating for a long time

Good sexual chemistry is essential to a relationship and a marriage. It is something that speaks volumes about a couple's compatibility.

The fact that your sexual chemistry sizzles even after months and years of dating your girlfriend means that there is more to your attraction than just infatuation.

12) She isn't manipulative

People who are manipulative may learn how to squeeze out short term gain from a situation but in the long run manipulative behavior makes people pay badly.

Karma always comes back a full circle and if your girlfriend is the manipulative types, you may want to re-think your decision about being with someone who never misses an opportunity to get an unfair advantage over others. One day, her you might be in her crosshair.

Did she hold on to you tightly even when all her friends didn't like you? Then you should hold on to her tightly too.
Did she hold on to you tightly even when all her friends didn't like you? Then you should hold on to her tightly too.

13) She wants to be your girlfriend even though her friends didn't approve of you

Whether it is about clothes, relationships or career, opinions of friends and close family make a deep impact on everyone's lives. The fact that your girlfriend chose to continue dating you despite knowing that her friends hate you, shows that she believed in you and in her feelings.

It also shows that she chose to risk being constantly judged by her friends. She was willing to do whatever it takes to be with you.

14) She never says no to meet your family

Meeting her boyfriend's parents and family is probably not on every girl's wish list of things to do but it is something that has to be done sooner or later.

It is impractical to expect a picture perfect situation where your girlfriend becomes your mom's new best friend and your dad's new daughter. But even if the relationship between your girlfriend and your parents does not pan out so perfectly, she shouldn't be completely against meeting your folks.

In a worst case scenario where your girlfriend doesn't get along too well with your parents, she should take it as something that has to be done by putting emotions to the side. If you can sense this maturity in your girlfriend, she is a keeper.

15) She dreams to be a successful woman

Whether it is in school, college or work, a girl who dreams to be successful is a girl who wants to be independent. It shows that she wants to carve out her own place in the world by working hard to achieve her personal and professional goals.

This is something that you should definitely look for in a life partner. Being married to a woman you love is great but if she is someone who is highly motivated who dreams for big things in life, that's even better.

Hold on to her tightly if she can easily fill in the shoes of a best friend.
Hold on to her tightly if she can easily fill in the shoes of a best friend.

16) She can fill the shoes of a friend

Some people like to believe that friends are better than partners while a lot of people think otherwise. This debate may go on forever but one thing is certain that there is nothing like a life partner who can also be a great friend.

Your girlfriend might be the one if she can easily fill the shoes of a friend who can comfort , care and counsel like a buddy.

17) Her values and beliefs align with yours

Everyone has a set of values, beliefs and principles they live their lives by. Parents, upbringing, friends, past relationships and life experiences are some of the things that play a role in shaping a person's value system.

Two people in a relationship may not have the exact same values. But at the same time, their core beliefs about life in general should ideally align to some extent. Your girlfriend is a keeper if both of you seem to agree on views about life, love, relationships, family and the other important elements that affect day to day life.

18) You trust her completely

Even the mighty feeling of love can be brought down to its knees when trust is broken. Regardless of the love, attraction and the bond, no relationship or marriage can survive without a pure sense of trust.

Your girlfriend should be someone who you can blindly trust with just about everything if you are thinking of her as someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.

She is definitely special if you both can just sit without saying a word and smile, knowing that you both have each other.
She is definitely special if you both can just sit without saying a word and smile, knowing that you both have each other.

19) You both enjoy each others' company in silence

There is lot more to being soul mates than fun conversations and great sexual chemistry. An ideal life partner is a person with whom you can have a great time even if you just sit beside her without saying a word.

Pat yourself in the back for finding true love if you and your girlfriend can sit together in a balcony and enjoy a hot cuppa without saying a word. This is one type of silence that has a very deep meaning.

20) There is more to her than just high heels and push-up bras

You might want to reconsider your stand on your relationship if your girlfriend is all about high heels and push-up bras.

The modern independent woman is a highly intellectually driven personality who believes she can multi-task way better than men, at least when it comes to juggling work and family. She is focused and she knows what she wants from a relationship.

Put your hand on your heart and smile, knowing that you have got yourself a keeper if your girlfriend is a woman who loves like girly teenager but thinks like headstrong individual.


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    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 

      6 years ago from Long Island, NY

      Very well done. This is an important list to review when someone is deciding if the one they are with is a keeper. Too often people don't think of these things and they stay in a relationship with the wrong person until they find the need to end it, having lost a lot of time.

      Then when they do find the right one, if they don't consider these important traits that you mentioned, they may not realize they have a keeper, and they focus on negatives instead. Either way, your list is extremely important to review from time to time.

    • profile image 

      6 years ago

      great article thanks PWAP! Happy New Year


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