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What to do if your best friend wont stay out of your relationship
My best friend butts in my relationship way too much
What to do if your best friend wont stay out of your relationship? How many of you have had the problem of a best friend butting in your relationship? How many have had the problem of not knowing wether to put your friendin there place or end the friendship? I am only going to use first name but I would like to help you all to understand how this problem was dealt with recently to give you insight on how to handle your own problem.
Lisa and Kevin had been dating for 2 years,but where there was a Lisa,there was also her friend Tammy. That simple fact caused problems throughout the realtionship between Lisa and Kevin but when the relationship was new Kevin failed to bring this to the attention of Lisa because he wanted a relationship with her but never wanted to seem selfish as if he wanted her all to himself. Lisa never saw a problem with always being three because she had been best friend to Tammy 6 years before there was ever a Kevin,they were as close as sister.
About a year later into the relationship Lisa finally started to realize what had been going on but never spoke up about it because Kevin never brought it up and she didnt want to seem selfish to Tammy making her feel like a third wheel or that the friendship was failing because of the new relationship status Lisa n Kevin deveoped. The best way for the two to combat this was to try to get Tammy in a relationship of her own by hooking her up with Kevins single friends which in turn never lasted because Tammy was not what you call a keeper,she was too used to being stuck on Tammy,she didnt feel like she needed the companionship because she had the friendship of Lisa n Kevin to keep her company. Alone time for our couple was by now lessened because now Lisa spent the rest of her time talking on the phone discussing Tammys relationships when she wasnt there in person.
So this next part is when you know enough is enough and you've asked yourself too many times what to do if my best friend wont stay out of my relationship? Now 2 years into the relationship Tammy seemed to have a say about where they vacationed,ate,lived I mean the whole nine, but still neither of them would speak up. I wouldnt have wanted to give my friend the wrong idea that she wasnt important in my life but i would indeed have set standards a long time before this next thing happened.
Lisa ended up pregnant, but decided to wait a few days to find the right moment to talk to Kevin,Tammy beat her to the punch. Tammy went to Kevin out of excitement knowing he didnt know,she in turn told him of the pregnancy and that Lisa was waiting for the right moment to tell him, but it was all ruined. Tammy next words out of her mouth would put a strain on everything. Tammy told Kevin that she doesnt think Lisa will decide to keep the baby because she didnt seem overly excited,this has Kevin thinking that the reason Lisa didnt come straight to him upon finding out is because she may decide to have a abortion,which is definetely not the case. You know how this goes, Kevin gets angry at Lisa,Lisa angers at Tammy, Tammy doesnt see anything she did wrong then angers at Kevin. How do you solve this problem? Do you now tell your friend to butt out of your relationship?
How to let your friend know he/she is causing problems
1. talk to your friend long before things get out of hand
2. make time to spend with your friend so he/she wont become a third wheel
3. if you cannot trust a friend with a secret keep it on the hush
4. know if your friend is really a friend because you can have unhonest people in your life not knowing
5. make sure that your friend understands your relationship is your business and while you may or may not talk about certain things in the relationship as friends do,it should be clear that they have no decision making status
6. If all of the above fails you must then choose between your relationship or friendship
7. weigh your option and the impact both are having in your life
8. remember a true friend would not make it so you have to come to a decision as in step 7
9. find out if your friend is happy with the way he/she life has been going because usually butting in your elationship substitutes for more than the eye can see.
What are your suggestions? Have they actually worked? Go over some things above and reavaluate the situation.