I assume you mean the guys (you're) attracted to or know!
Lots of men make plans to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. Numerous restaurants and hotels are filled every weekend because some of these men made reservations to do something special. Florists deliver flowers and balloons to women daily while at work.
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Only you can determine what your "must haves" are. If you're not getting what you want from your man all you can do is ask.
There are two basic reasons why your man would not give you what you've asked for and expressed it's importance.
1. He doesn't have it to give. (In other words it's not who he is.)
2. He does not believe you are worth the effort.
Generally speaking if someone thinks you're worth the effort they'll make the effort. However with age and experience comes wisdom. Instead of investing time and energy trying to get a person to "change" one is better off using that time to find someone who (already is) the kind of person they want to be with!
Very few guys are walking around with their hand held up in the air screaming: "I'm looking for a woman to change me!"
Most people want to be loved and accepted for who (they) are.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Stay or move on. The choice is up to us.
If it's a "deal breaker" get out.
If it's not a "deal breaker" learn to live without.