Would you be in a relationship with a man or woman you cannot copulate with?

1. 73

   clivewilliamsposted 7 years ago

   Would you be in a relationship with a man or woman you cannot copulate with?
   
   Is sex the biggest percentage of relationships? What do you think.

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2. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   No, I would not knowingly enter into a "monogamous relationship" where sex was off the table. In fact since "monogamy" implies one has sex with one person. A relationship without sex is a "platonic friendship". There is no status for "exclusive platonic relationships."
   The underlying reason in my opinion to "forsake all others" comes with the belief that you have someone who is committed to addressing those needs therefore you don't need anyone else.
   Very few people want to choose celibacy as a way of life.
   Having said that I don't believe sex is the "biggest percentage" of relationships. Most of your time together as a couple is out of bed.
   I do however believe that (sexual desire) is one of the few things that distinguishes "romantic love" from parental, sibling, and platonic friendship love.
   Most people do want to be "desired" by their mate and vice versa.

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3. 71

   manatita44posted 7 years ago

   Yes, I think it is. Lust is very strong and sometimes just being close can bring it on. Hence the cautionary advice for most monastics.
   
   Generally when we are younger, passion plays a great role, but as we get older, men and women, we tend to either lesson or make do without. Only some people though, and that relates to their character or personality or other social and health factors. Others are at it in their eighties!
   
   Desire cannot be burnt out with age, (ask the old boys visiting strip clubs) and one is motivated by desire. Still, in many situations, the emphasis can shift to one of security and companionship, to avoid loneliness and insecurity, as some get past middle age.
   
   Quite a few are in that situation you mentioned. There are also married monks purely because they can travel the Path with or without a companion. They do not indulge, but travel the journey together like brother and sister.
   
   How are you today Clive? Long weekend for me here in London, UK. Have a great one.

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   1. 81

      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      "...but as we get older, men and women, we tend to either lesson or make do without." - Valid point.
      However I wonder how many people (choose) not to.
      I can't imagine (both people) waking up one day deciding to give up. One of them isn't happy.

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4. 85

   tsmogposted 7 years ago

   'My' answer to the main question is 'Yes'. The answer to the second question is 'No'. To supplement is I am 62, single today, and viewing it from my personal perspective. My answer certainly is not universal nor would I make such a claim.
   
   Some of what I think is firstly every person is an individual with desires, needs, and wants. At task with the question is if copulation itself is a desire, a need, a want, or none of the above. And, it asks if a relationship's success is governed by copulation, even though conditions have not been assigned. For instance how often, how or if satisfactory, and etc. Those alone are a lot of windows to peer through and doors to walk passed.
   
   BTW . . . it is an interesting question that probably has been with us since time eternal. Currently I am researching Love and some of that research offers perspectives. For instance looking at Love defined by biological science, different psychological views, many religious perspectives, and philosophical too. Copulation as a component of Love appears in those areas researched. For instance biological Love with hormones, neurotransmitters, nerves (stimulus of touch related to the brain), and etc.

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