Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy thi

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  1. profile image53
    These eyesposted 14 years ago

    Why do men hurt the person they love? If they love a woman why they do crazy things?

    I have a good relationship with this man and he just admit that he was having an affair that he wants to continue seing that person. I never see this coming since everything was so great with us. We never have a big fight a little argument and we had been through a lot and we have been together for years,

  2. fireball* profile image61
    fireball*posted 14 years ago

    This question can both applied men and women,why do we hurt the people we love?
    Sometimes the person we love took for granted our feelings,cause they thought we love them and we will be just standing by thier side no matter what.What they don't realize is that everything has its own limit.Like now in your experience,I may say that your man have no respect in your relationship,he did not considered your feelings,he is too selfish thinking of his own satisfaction.If the person truly love,he will treasure all and respect all about you and never put stain on what you have.
    This kind of person,no matter who he is with ..he will remain the same,he did this to you,he will do the same to the woman he is having an affair with.
    A cheater is always a cheater,he's words of love is vain.You better ask yourself now,should I go on and live in misery with him or let go and move on,heal and maybe find a more better man,a faithful one who will considered your own feelings?
    A man who truly loves always thinks his woman first before himself.

    1. Borsia profile image42
      Borsiaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It takes 2 to tango, women are just as willing to hurt as men are.

    2. Breatheeasy3 profile image63
      Breatheeasy3posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Once a cheater may mean always a cheater in the technical sense, but doesn't necessarily mean 'will cheat again'. Think of people who go through drug rehab successfully. They are 'always' a drug addict even after they defeat their addiction

    3. incomeseven profile image62
      incomesevenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      All are about emotion and relation share between twos.

  3. RecoverToday profile image81
    RecoverTodayposted 14 years ago

    Some men are in it for power or have a pattern of manipulation. This should be a warning sign to  women.

  4. profile image53
    church1040posted 13 years ago

    i was married to a guy for 21 yrs and and very abusive and after i did research as to why guys are like this and found out a lot

  5. saddlerider1 profile image58
    saddlerider1posted 13 years ago

    There are so many reasons why women live with abusive spouses or boyfriends. One could be as support for children, who by herself she could not handle it alone, so she reaches out to a man. He will not only abuse her but her children. I know, as I was brought up in an abusive home, not from my father, but by a boyfriend who exerted his power and strength upon not only my mother but the children. Another reason a woman may stay is because she feels unworthy and thinks by bowing down and pleasing this man that it will help her. It';s so sad, how a woman in most cases will except punishment from a man. Mental and physical, because she thinks she is the guilty party. It';s a  sick situation to be in. I saw my mother abused, beaten and subject to things that were cruelty at it;s worse. I was only 12 yrs old, I wish I had been older so I could have killed this beast. So for all you woman out there going through hell with a man, get help, don't put up with it, you have to get out, escape and live. If not he will put you in your early grave, do it for yourself and your children, but DO IT.

  6. Darknlovely3436 profile image73
    Darknlovely3436posted 13 years ago

    Why do some men hurt the women they love.
    loving someones cause for loving that person with all they faults
    saying to someone that you love them "sometimes do not meant nothing.Love comes from deep within, it forsaking others

    some men blames it on the cave man inside of him
    he must pursued other prey. He allowed his Penis to control his brain, to satifsy his ego, without any consideration he cheats
    then after a minute of sexual pleasure, some of them come to they senses, and realise how weak they are.

    so I come to an conclusion, Men are just totally weak.. so cheating goes with the territory....

    1. profile image54
      babsfreedomposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Testosterone is a man's curse. Just like estrogen is our curse as women. It is just the way it is. It was made that way to ensure that species continues. However, men and women can be faithful once they are satisfied with themselves and partner.

    2. Borsia profile image42
      Borsiaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Men have 1 extra brain while women have 3, and women are just as guilty. They are all too willing to hurt each other and for every cheating man there is a woman willing to play.

  7. abbykorinnelee profile image52
    abbykorinneleeposted 13 years ago

    I asked this of my husband who just finalized our divorce.  He had done things so out of character to me; just to hurt me and I was begging to know why.  One day he said "because I need you to hate me."

    I pondered that for awhile and after I thought I figured that statement out I asked him if it was because its easier to have me hate him and be the one to not fight to stay as I had been and be the one to walk away in the end; because he couldn't do it?  I had already signed the papers and I had already said to myself if you love him the way you say you do then you have to let him go so why would he still be doing it?  I was, on this issue, correct.  He can't walk away.  He keeps coming back to see the kids and being with me is what ends up happening and he hurts.  He can't stay for his own issues he said he needs to deal with.  I can't walk away because I do love him and despite what he has done to hurt me on purpose it hurts more to think he is doing this loving me still.

    He has gone so far as devalued the love we share; something we both needed, never thought we would have and before him no...I never beleived that we had someone meant for us and I think most of the time hell, ninety percent of the time people say they are with their soulmate and are truly not.  I believe that we are bound for life that way but I don't need that relationship the way it was and the marriage anymore.  I need him to find his way and I found knowing that when he tries to hurt me, and even though I cry myself to sleep alone and missing him a lot of the time.  I see the love there in his eyes...I know someday he will find what he needs to and if that is not me and he can look at me without that love then I will walk away.  I will never hate him.

    I guess what I am saying is sometimes we try to do things for someone else in the wrong way.  He thought its better for me that he leave and he couldn't do it I hung on and I fought and I still do in some ways...so he hurts me trying to force me to go because he has his issues...he needs me to go...I won't and can't.  That isn't love for me.  So sometimes its really for us and they don't know how to do it...sometiems its control...sometimes we hurt we want them to hurt.  Just do what you need and if you need him I never used to say this...but fight...

    1. profile image50
      g9usocaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This describes my marriage, also.  In fact I didn't really start to seriously evaluate the relationship until recently and we have been together for twelve years. Sometimes his behavior or comments  put me in face shock. I am stunned.

    2. profile image54
      babsfreedomposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      People can be very selfish and unfortunately I find men to be more selfish than women. In any case, don't be afraid to leave him alone. You will see that it will be the best thing you do for yourself in the long run. Love yourself first like they do.

  8. mdlawyer profile image45
    mdlawyerposted 12 years ago

    Whether man or woman, if one really loves another, s/he cannot hurt that person.

  9. proactrdv profile image59
    proactrdvposted 12 years ago

    I can only speak for the way I feel and that is men are weak for women. There are men who have great relationships with their wives or partners and they are good family men but women are powerfully attractive to us. It doesn't matter about self asteem or a high or low libido. Women are intriguing to men regardless of there attitude, personality or walk of life. Its time that someone just man up and tell the truth about it. Not every man deliberately sets out to hurt womwn.

    1. Alaina Smith Cain profile image59
      Alaina Smith Cainposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Bravo, well-said! Finally, a man who is willing to speak the truth!

    2. profile image54
      babsfreedomposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Men are weak for women they don't know. But as soon as they have conquered the woman, they are no longer weak. Men just like to hunt and they think women are prey for the most part.

  10. DanielBing1 profile image72
    DanielBing1posted 12 years ago

    Well it's not easy to hurt someone you have no relationship with as they probably don't actually care what you think. People act in selfish ways sometimes and said acts hurt those around them. Most people spend a majority of their time with people they know and thus those are the people generally hurt.

  11. Beautiful1983 profile image58
    Beautiful1983posted 11 years ago

    You got to know for sure whether you can handle the cons and if it balances out with the pros instead of outweighing the pros. You need to let this man know what you will and will not tolerate. If he does not cooperate with your wishes then hold out on the sex and the money if you are giving it. If not, then start communicating with your male friends and see what they say about your relationship. Sit him down and talk to him about what you like and do not like about him, but if he does not listen, then put it into writing. If this does not work, then open yourself to meet up with one of your ex's that still wants you or allow yourself to heal and spend at least thirty days to yourself and consider meeting someone new. In the mean time start networking and adding single males into your contacts database and allow for nature to take it's course.

  12. Lisa Marie Hunt profile image57
    Lisa Marie Huntposted 11 years ago

    I don't think any man or woman start out abusive. You start out curious, intrigued, fascinated, with a crush. Slowly as life changes you throughout your many experiences together, especially if children are involved, you take a turn and your love partner takes another turn! You may not mean to but life does this.

    I have been reading Spiritual books and finding out more about who I am, not my body but my soul. I think this may help answer your question, I hope.

    Read the book, "I AM The Power of Discovering Who You Are" by Howard Falco. It is really fascinating and talks in depth about our self sabotaging behaviors in relationships.

    Many of our societies addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, shopping, abusive relationships(yes it's an addiction) and the list goes on and on, are due because of the state of mind it produces. It goes along the same lines of "Like attracts like"

    When you start out in a relationship you each have a role you play. Alot of emotionally scarred women get with men either like their dad, who may have abused them or some other strong figure in there life. Because they are so used to abuse, they get a partner who is abusive whether it is verbal, emotional or physical. As we change and grow in the relationship or outside the relationship, our roles change as well.

    Sometimes we are ready for this change and accept it, but our partner may still desire to stay so what happens is conflict. Affairs, abuse and other self destructive behavior are the result and fighting usually ends up being the final straw and wake up call. It is very important to get counseling and work through the hurts and pain before getting this far. Communication and keeping on the same page is also vital. If you want help and your partner doesn't, you will definitely have a lot of work ahead of you and may even have to say good-bye.

    What these addictions are derived from is a state of mind feeling, a feeling of peace which is what it boils down to is man's truest and most purest desire, peace. No matter what addiction you think that you are struggling from- you really desire a peaceful state of mind. Most will go to any lengths to keep this state of mind. It tears apart relationships and destroys lives but through love and understanding you can conquer all.

    I hope you find that road to lead you on your path toward inner joy and love of yourself. Remember, have patience, love him through everything and your peaceful, sunny day is just around the corner!

  13. profile image0
    Delila1posted 10 years ago

    Men can love you (a lot at first) and still 'love" you but also love a new person then (a lot at first). It is a common problem that is going on for centuries. Only few men, and luckily they are there, find commitment important ... which means, working on the relationship. For this the love has to be deep. It can also be that you have been unloving or made so called mistakes, so understandibly he got fed up and eventually found someone new. If he wants to continue with this new woman, the damage is already done. If you can leave him and move on, it would be the best. Understanding why he hurt you or this or that is good, but to an extent. Time, good people and things around and distance from him is the best way to move on. And prayer.

  14. DDE profile image48
    DDEposted 10 years ago

    Men do crazy things because of their wondering minds, curiosity makes them want to explore other avenues having a good relationship doesn't occur to them unless they have made mostakes

  15. Mom61 profile image61
    Mom61posted 10 years ago

    I think men still believe they are dominate over the woman in their life, however, if a woman makes more money in the relationship a man will still be dominate by being critical, selfish, and unresponsive to the woman needs, possibly even abusive.  When the man does things to hurt you he is usually hurting himself and doesn't want his partner to feel good about anything.  Being understanding, caring and non-argumentive is usually what men respond to.  Your other alternative is to simply leave the relationship.

    1. Chris Conley profile image61
      Chris Conleyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Some men do, but not all. It's all about upbringing. How are they raised?

    2. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      true, only women too prefer it that way, how many women knowingly date or marries male below their corporate  hierarchy , hardly then they blame the men. Nice game eat the cake and have it too!

    3. Michael Starvin profile image55
      Michael Starvinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I have stupid parents but i never blame them for my behavior because I deny them and their bullshit. some people have parents that are moronic and have their own problems. upbringing has nothing to do with this. take responsibility for yourself.

  16. Waqar Ali Khan profile image57
    Waqar Ali Khanposted 10 years ago

    i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me i have no partner i want to die any body want to save me

    1. anne james olsen profile image57
      anne james olsenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Get with it thicko god so meny problems murders lack of money the chancers are you will find some l or need a shrink ar lord ure pathetick and you say you want 2 die a man is not every thing go out and do something you love and dont do something sili

  17. endenfin profile image62
    endenfinposted 10 years ago

    It is a control matter! Even if they are happy, they rather hurt so they won't lose control over the other person.

  18. Diana Lee profile image78
    Diana Leeposted 10 years ago

    It is a question asked since the beginning of time. Men are men. We are not ever going to figure them out. We can't live with them and we can't live without them is an old saying which still holds true today. I wish I could tell you why they hurt the ones who love them. Good luck.

  19. Rosana Modugno profile image73
    Rosana Modugnoposted 10 years ago

    It's not just men that hurt.  Obviously this is a personal quest and you're going through a not so fun time, huh.  Well, I am a believer that everything happens for a reason, that when one door opens, a window lets in a light...or a stranger.  Hopefully you're on the first floor.  smile

    First of all, don't measure how long you've been together.  Time doesn't exist and a relationship of 10 years could be just as deep as one with as little as 2 years.  It's the quality, not the quantity. 

    Next you mention fighting.  So what if you never fought?  Maybe you needed to.  Couples fight all the time. It just means people vent out their feelings and you should always vent.  It's healthy.

    Lastly, when you state that you didn't see it coming, I think you did and either missed it or didn't want to see it.  I'm sure he left clues everywhere as most cheating men do.  Think back and I bet you'll remember things now that you didn't catch before. 

    Either way, none of this matters now.  If he doesn't want this saved, it won't be.  It has to be yours and his decision.  But seems to me he's already decided and if that's the case, there's no reason for you to stick around.

    Does it hurt?  Sure it does.  But it's not all men.  It's women too sometimes.  People aren't perfect.  You just have to find the one that's perfect for YOU. 

    Good luck!

    1. coki252000 profile image69
      coki252000posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This is so real and to the point. Most people block out things that may hurt them or find excuses as to why it's right instead of being confronting the truth. Everything happens for a reason. Be glad you found out now & find the strength to move

  20. Chuck Bluestein profile image62
    Chuck Bluesteinposted 10 years ago

    The answer to this is biblical. The Jews and the Arabs have the same father ultimately-- Abraham. But one group comes from one mother and another group comes from another mother. Back at that time men would have more than one wife or mistress. On Seinfeld they said that said that men like to hunt and women like to nest.

    A woman can give birth once every 9 months. But a man can have a child every day if he is busy enough.

  21. midnightcandle4me profile image58
    midnightcandle4meposted 10 years ago

    sometimes selfishness leads to conflicts in a relationship. Having an affair with another person while in a relationship will certainly bring trouble.  It is actually "slap to the face" of the person who is getting hurt in the relationship.  It is a violation of trust and will result to losing integrity in a relationship.  Actually having an affair with another while in a present relationship is a sign of disrespect and dishonesty.  The one who does it might be doing it intentionally or unintentionally but knowingly or unknowingly that person is already hurting the partner in the relationship.

  22. carlajbehr profile image84
    carlajbehrposted 10 years ago

    I think there is a root to many relationship issues.  For instance, insecurity will make a person question the intention of their loved ones actions.   Where are you?  Who were you with?   When did you go?  When did you come back?   Why were you there?  This could be an insecurity based in past hurts from either parents or other relationships and have nothing to do with the current relationship.  I also think some men (and women) were pampered as children, given everything they wanted and spoiled more than their mate.  Perhaps that's why they are angry when they don't get their way.   To them, getting their way is acquainted with love.   Being insecure and being spoiled can cause a man or woman to fight the very person they are supposed to be in love with.... ask me how I know : )

    1. shaiena profile image59
      shaienaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I really love this comment, thanks for the reply

  23. aeraaf patel profile image67
    aeraaf patelposted 10 years ago

    When a person is cheating the one he loves or should be appropiate to say faking to love, that person will always try to give more love to you. That person will feel guilty from within  and will try to be nice to you.  Another reason may be attraction which diverts the mind of person from the loved one to others.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      this problem comes because women wants men to be monogamist leave this Utopian notion all will be ok then at least most of the time .

    2. violetheaven profile image60
      violetheavenposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      attraction and lust....  you can lust without love. that's why the word lust had to be created.  A man with a strong mind can avoid giving into lust by favoring the Love he has already.

    3. Michael Starvin profile image55
      Michael Starvinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      A man has to be mature enough to realize love before he can ever understand what to do with it aswell. knowing the difference between lust and love and we have to be able to know the difference which is very difficult for most of us.

  24. profile image52
    asiawebguruposted 10 years ago

    Men nature is full of resonance (means they not stable on a any fixed. One of the most common (and most frustrating) relationship dynamics that we hear about is couples who feel emotionally wounded by each other on a regular basis. They both love each other, and want to stay together, yet they keep hurting each other through verbal abuse, physical rejection, taking each other for granted, betraying emotional trust, or bringing up the most vulnerable topics from their partner’s past

    1. Breatheeasy3 profile image63
      Breatheeasy3posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      what do you suppose this means??? By what means does this trend and 'phenomenon' take place?

    2. Katya Drake profile image60
      Katya Drakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thats not love. Its just abuse.

    3. violetheaven profile image60
      violetheavenposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The root of such is insecurity. each partner in such a case should ask themselves how they can help the other to feel more secure in the relationship.

  25. moronkee profile image71
    moronkeeposted 10 years ago

    I agree with Rosana. Women also hurt people they love. I know a woman who enjoys hurting her siblings and a close friend who snatches a best friend husband.
    I think both sexes hurt who they love when they are bored and not excited about the relationship again.

  26. Mike Marks profile image59
    Mike Marksposted 10 years ago

    I agree that this doesn't have to be a gender question, women lie/cheat. men lie/cheat, and all the rest... there's something he/she feels they are missing in life while old age and death beckons moments' opportunities away... what he/she feels/thinks they may be missing can be illusionary or real... there is a time for either party to be selfish and unselfish... is a safe space allowed for the other party to be honest, for the speaker to speak honestly selfishly, while the other listens with an unselfish attitude to what the partner considers his/her selfish need... if there is no safe space to state the selfish need honestly to a partner, that being a space where the partner listening doesn't go ballistic upon hearing the honest, then only dishonesty and lying is allowed... if it is something sexual that is needed, that can be explored AS partners, sanely safely and consentually... the worst is always the dishonesty, the lying that has to result in lost of trust, and a partner you can not trust can not be a partner... when the truth is explored, you may also decide that you can not be a partner to those needs, or you can love seeing your partner be happy fulfilling whatever it is he/she urges for, or pursuing that urge only to find it was a false illusion, like a drink we imagine will make us feel better only to take it and find it only made us feel worse or nothing at all... we often have a void we know needs filling but we choose the wrong thing to fill it, a basis for, as the aforementioned example, alcoholism, or the middle aged clique the sports car... and sometimes the need is real, like a certain sexual act unreceived but longed for... and love and understanding... if there is a partner who can not listen lovingly to honesty, that in itself is a need unfulfilled, and of course it goes both ways...

  27. Heartsandkisses profile image57
    Heartsandkissesposted 10 years ago

    The same apply to women. Men are not purposely trying to hurt who they love but it could be for many things. In a situation like yours where you guys don't fight, your communication skills with each other might have been to low for you to realize the clues he was cheating. Another reason would be because some men fear commitment especially when it's coming fast, he might not be ready to settle down. He loves you but something might have clicked in his head and had him realize that things were going to fast. Overall in situations like this, men leave their girlfriends for something more mysterious, interesting and intensifying. He may have an emotional commitment with you but a sexual one with the other women. Learn now and move on than have him break your heart years later when you become dependent on his love.

    1. profile image49
      hotmama41posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you there it can be a addiction, and they might not know how to talk about it, they may think you might judge them,but trust should be upfront and communication.

  28. Borsia profile image42
    Borsiaposted 10 years ago

    Women tend to be more willing to put on the blinders entering a relationship. They tend to go for the "bad boy" thinking that somehow he will change,,, he won't.
    Women don't have quite as much of the hunter instinct as men do they are the gatherers.

    But women share just as much of the blame as men do.
    Women love to undermine each other ad are all too willing to play their part in cheating. Remember that men, for the most part, aren't cheating with other men and more often than not the women they are cheating with are also cheating.
    As the saying goes "it takes 2 to tango" and just as some men see chasing women as a sport women see stealing men as a sport.

    Ask any man if he gets flirted with more when he is alone or with other men and he will tell you that we get flirted with far more when we are with a woman.
    As many men will tell you; the best pick up line is a wedding ring.

    I don't think that most men intend to hurt their women but I think women are very naïve about the men they choose. Usually all the signs are there in the beginning and women just ignore them. Much, if not most, of the time when you met your man he was already in a relationship. He probably denied it or said it was over before you got together and you probably believed him.

    1. techforapple profile image57
      techforappleposted 10 years agoin reply to this

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  29. Darrell Roberts profile image71
    Darrell Robertsposted 10 years ago

    Sorry to hear of your misfortune. 
    Lust and lack of self control is the answer as far as I can see.  There is a difference between lust and love.  Lust is a powerful force and can lead men or women to engage in activities that would cause pain to others.  Lust is considered one of the three gates to hell in the scriptures that I follow. 

    Lust leads to greed, and in this instance it is greed for women.  It is the lust that causes the person to have an affair.  If they loved you they would understand that their behavior would cause you pain, more pain than if they were honest and told you in advance that they are not a one woman man. 

    If men know that they want more than one woman they should not commit to the one and give her the illusion that they love her exclusively.  Love means that you have to be honest with the other person, even when things may be difficult to let the other person know. 

    My best suggestion to you would be to read the book called "Bhagavad-Gita as it is" written by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhativedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada , there are so many good answers to questions about life and relationships. 
    I wish you the best!

    1. violetheaven profile image60
      violetheavenposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent answer!

    2. be grateful profile image59
      be gratefulposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very well stated

  30. freska profile image61
    freskaposted 10 years ago

    The one,who really loves you,cannot hurt you.

    1. Michael Starvin profile image55
      Michael Starvinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      duh, otherwise it is not love.

  31. Breatheeasy3 profile image63
    Breatheeasy3posted 10 years ago

    Spouses, Family, Friends(frenemies). They all have their share of doing some of the most dastardly things to those they 'so called love'. Perhaps it is an enigma and self explanatory at the same time.

    I think that in relationships, one person always loves the other just a little more(or less). But this isn't necessarily the reason. I think the reason lies within the individual rather than the person being 'mistreated'. It isn't intervention that helps, but realization and self reflection that leads to the answer.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      love when its negative feeling its hatred without loving i doubt you can start hating!!

  32. Ann810 profile image52
    Ann810posted 10 years ago

    Because they are only human, and we women have take responsibility for choosing men that are bad boys that don't mind hurting women feelings. I don't put total trust in a man anymore, I put total trust in God. Let God be your match-maker and avoid complaining when God send you your best friend as life-long companion/husband.

  33. profile image54
    bhavishapatelposted 10 years ago

    some men look for a change. your not going to eat the same pizza everyday are you? or wear the same clothes? They tend to loose interest in the women perhaps due to the reason that the women is too emotionally caught up within her feelings. Its till a point a man could tolerate a women's wrong doing. Not everything can be met eye to eye on. There would be disagreements but at the end of the day if the man is really worth the struggles, the hardships and plans to stick with you for the better or worse that is the man that will be there to hold your hand when you in need of a partner the most. Not every relationship is perfect and not every relationship can be the way you imagine it to be. Everybody has there different thoughts and perspectives to situations and the way your man reacted was his.

  34. AvineshP profile image61
    AvineshPposted 10 years ago

    Well, I personally feel that it was not real love and it was just an infatuation. If he was in love (real love) with you, then this situation would have never occurred. Now, you know that everything that he did and said was baseless and fake.

  35. lone77star profile image73
    lone77starposted 10 years ago

    It has nothing to do with love.

    It has everything to do with lust, selfishness, self-importance, ego.

    Ego is the source of all evil in the world. Ego is the false self that Jesus said we should let die before we can gain everlasting life. Ego craves to be first; but we must be willing to be last (humble). Unconditional love comes with humility, selflessness, abundant generosity, perfect responsibility, fearless confidence.

    1. NiaLee profile image59
      NiaLeeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      here is a real man talking, mature and honest... women and people need to stop thinking that all these painful things are part of a big love story... novels, movies and liars have made it a point to use decent honest people

    2. HannahMariya profile image60
      HannahMariyaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      In this moment I feel relief and grateful that there are people like you on this planet...I was beginning to feel very worried. Thanx!

    3. advisor4qb profile image75
      advisor4qbposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No further answer seems to be required.  I completely agree and thank you for your insight and honesty.  It's nice to see a man who does not defend his gender simply because he is a man.  I must add that these standards also apply to women.

    4. baybpnk profile image67
      baybpnkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      BEAUTIFUL answer!

    5. abbykorinnelee profile image52
      abbykorinneleeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well, this guy I know had someone fall in love with him. He fell in love with her but had just ended 2 decade marriage and wasn't ready. It scared him so much he kept pushing her away. Went to his ex who he didn't love. We get so hurt we run sometime

    6. Venkatachari M profile image85
      Venkatachari Mposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer. Lust and selfishness are the most cruel things that make man irrational and unmindful of his partner's likes and moods. You must care for her feelings and emotions. It can hurt her and make her depressed and fear complexed.

    7. Linda Burks profile image61
      Linda Burksposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for sharing

    8. profile image54
      Mona Kposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You gave very correct answer. I wish all men can be like this. Why men hurt women so much emotionally who look after their home and does everything. Today i am in so much pain because my husband told me u eat my food and u live in my home.

  36. Daniel Santana profile image58
    Daniel Santanaposted 10 years ago

    Olá Amigos Acredito que vocês já devem ter notado que a melhor forma de ganhar dinheiro na internet é ter o seu próprio produto.
    Mas a maior dificuldade para quem esta começando é criar o seu produto, muitos pensão que não tem capacidade ou que não tem conhecimento suficiente, mas na verdade este é um tremendo erro.
    Antes de tudo dê uma olhada em  minha página!


  37. Suzanne Day profile image94
    Suzanne Dayposted 10 years ago

    Men love women in the ways they know how. Sometimes the way they are taught is very strange. It doesn't mean things are right or wrong, but it does need to be compatible with the woman.

  38. profile image0
    swilliamsposted 10 years ago

    Men hurt the person they love because they are hurting inside. A man can only do what you allow him to.

    1. Chris Conley profile image61
      Chris Conleyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Same holds true for women. This applies to both genders, which I'm hoping is what you meant.

  39. Buildreps profile image84
    Buildrepsposted 10 years ago

    Because most of them are spiritually not very developed and therefore lack wisdom, maturity, patience and don't really know what they really want in their live and therefore missing a real goal that fits them. Choosing the wrong love and not really loving them is part of this process. This can manifest itself in things you describe.

  40. livewirez profile image70
    livewirezposted 10 years ago

    I thinks this is an inevitable part of the relationship. No matter how much you love that certain person, there comes a time that the two of you will hurt each other feelings. But what good about this issue is even though you hurt the feeling of your partner if you overcome those things it will make your relationship more stronger.

  41. welch moore profile image61
    welch mooreposted 10 years ago

    love is nature, and if anybody can hurt. no love in him

  42. padmendra profile image48
    padmendraposted 10 years ago

    In  today’s culture, it is not easy to remain happy in a relationship  for a long time as we have set up our mind to throw away if something is going wrong. Hurting the sentiments of a partner does not make them sad as they do not feel  the pain of hurting.others. No one takes keen interest to make it a long- lasting relationship and instead they try to go away from the relation whenever there is some misunderstanding or they face any kind of difficulty.

  43. anshika dutta profile image55
    anshika duttaposted 10 years ago

    Being a women, i accept that it`s not true that always a men hurt the women.... a women can do ....... anyways being hurt from love without any reason  is impossible. I will say the big reason behind this would b the feelings that can be missing between one of the lover... and if they love a woman they do crazy things ,they are because for their happiness, their smiles, n that lovely moments to catch.....

  44. dp2web profile image61
    dp2webposted 10 years ago

    Might be they started taking them for granted, think they know everything about others feelings. They can manage their partner anger, know how to say Sorry and reduce their anger. And last but not least becasue they think they love each other and whatever happens their relationship is so strong that it will not get affected.

  45. JRScarbrough profile image76
    JRScarbroughposted 10 years ago

    Psychologist would say that some psychological impairments and the people who suffer from them would usually aim to hurt the people they love most because those are the people they trust most. They don't fear losing those people and so vent negative emotions in that direction.

  46. edhan profile image39
    edhanposted 10 years ago

    Feeling is a part that always uncontrollable in many situations. It is always hard to know before hand when such incident is going to happen. My brain is working in such a way that it is always unpredictable. If a person is truly in love with a person, I believe it will not happen.

  47. profile image58
    rudrakshtalwar180posted 10 years ago

    A man looks for an affair outside when he is not getting what he needs in a relationship . Its  not not always sexual needs but some times emotional requirements . Mostly it is lack of communication which causes this problem . Especially in today's time when both  are to busy and don't have enough time to spend together , talk , discuss their problems . Woman are comparatively emotionally stronger than men and they are not ashamed of talking about their personal problems with other woman but in case of men they require that special someone with whom they can discuss their problems , someone close , someone they can approach anytime , someone they can trust . According to me this is the main cause of an affair . When a man stops getting this attention from the woman he is with he finds an alternate person , who most of the times is a woman , and with time this emotional bonding outside slowly leads to an affair .

  48. Mahmo profile image60
    Mahmoposted 10 years ago

    Your question is not clear, what sort of affairs ( he ) wants to continue ? Is it business affairs or love / affection affairs ?

    How you describe your relationship with him, is it friendship or marriage or lovers ?

  49. Fatiha profile image69
    Fatihaposted 10 years ago

    They like empowerment. When they cannot command that outside, they try inside and with their wife just to prove that they are male.

    1. profile image57
      spock28posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      thats some ladies and male concept majority cases is when there is a gender communication gap and  he cannot reach out to his partner in spite of best efforts, men are from mars women from venus we can meet only halfway

  50. profile image49
    hotmama41posted 10 years ago

    It tells me that he doesn't love you if he did he would do his
    best, not to hurt you he would make you his center piece,
    of his own world. He has insecurity issues maybe from
    his past I do little more research on him, ask around
    someone will know more than you will.


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