Female Pisces, Feb 27 & ex is a Libra Oct 20, why can't we get along? We have a

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   Jax1posted 7 years ago

   Female Pisces, Feb 27 & ex is a Libra Oct 20, why can't we get along? We have a child together.
   
   We have a child together, we've breaken up many times.  But, our great sex life always brings up back together.  However, I am honestly getting sick of his lack of commitment, coldness, lack of communication and his relation phobic ways.  Only thing that keeps us together is the bedroom.  We have a child together so of course saving our relationship is important to me... I just need to know if I am just wasting my time?  What can I do to better increase of communication & get him to commit. We have been on and off for 10 years and our son is 6 years old now.  Please help!

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2. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   " I am honestly getting sick of his lack of commitment, coldness, lack of communication and his relation phobic ways."
   "What can I do to better increase of communication & get him to commit?"
   Essentially you're saying: "I don't like who (he is) how can I change him?"
   I believe a "soul-mate" is someone who shares your same values, wants the same thing for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. Compatibility trumps compromise!
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We ether get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
   Life is too short to be trying to "change water into wine".
   Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
   Most people want to be loved and accepted for who (they) are.
   There's no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want.
   You mention being together "off and on" for 10 years and having a 6 year old son. We don't know the context of those years.
   Did you meet when you were age 16? If so it's unrealistic to expect a guy to want to commit in his 20s especially if he feels he hasn't really known any other girl but you nor accomplished anything in his life.
   The average guy in his 20s either just moved out of a college dorm or escaped from his parent's basement. The last thing on his mind is becoming his parents! Most guys in that age range want to establish a career, party with friends, watch sports, play video games, and get laid.
   The thought of getting married, buying a house, and having children is like watching their life flash before their eyes!
   There are two reasons why most guys don't propose to a woman.
   1. Timing (He's happy with things as they are and has other priorities).
   2. She's NOT "the one"!
   It's not unheard of for a guy to end a long-term relationship with a woman of several years and turn around and get engaged to the next woman he seriously dates after being together for a year or less. Why? He (believes) she is "the one".
   According to statistics by age 44 over 85% of men will have been married at least once. Odds are your man {will commit} but not to you. Move on!
   In order for your (bf) to be "the one" he would have to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who WANTS to be with you!

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