I have often said that if I lived to be 500 I would never understand women.
After being with my wife for 10 yrs and now divorced and back in the dating world I am starting to see women in a whole different way.
Every girl I meet feels the need to tell me how much they love their kids, I have 2 kids and love em very much but dont feel I need to prove this by telling everyone: “my kids are my world” , “my kids are everything to me”, etc. Why would they not be?
Every time I go to the bathroom after my girlffriend leaves, the little trash can is over flowing with toilet paper? Why does she use so much and why can she not just throw it in the toilet?
Why is she so paranoid I am sleeping with every girl in the south? I am 39 now and way to old to be a “player”. One girl is plenty.
Why can I not just tell her she is beautiful in person? Thats not good enough, now I have to say it on her Facebook wall.
But I am just a simple countryboy, what do I know.
Don't worry, we feel the same about men.
I think when it comes to women, you have to leave room for what's *not being said. You see things from the outside and think that's all there is, but there's a world of insecurities, hurts, dreams, questions.... etc. going on inside her heart and mind. When you start figuring out what's not being said, you'll have a better handle on what's actually going on. You just have to care enough to be willing to ask/learn.
"you have to leave room for what's *not being said."
this has always been an issue for me. I have to understand what she is thinking but I am always so wrong. makes me feel like a caveman
Can you ask her questions without sounding irritated or too pushy? Women love a man who cares enough to really seek out her true self. A lot of us keep stuff bottled up, the way you men do. If you don't really want to know whats going on on the inside, it may not be a relationship worth pursuing though.
I wouldn't blanket what your girlfriend does or says with all the rest of us women out here... she certainly does not represent how I am as a woman.
There are women out there who are confident enough and secure enough to not worry their boyfriend is out with other women and can find other things to discuss other than how their children are their world.
If she needs you to post on her Facebook wall, she's psychotic and probably sporting the maturity of a 15-year-old. I say run.
The toilet paper wads in your garbage might be her doing you a favor. Certain feminine hygiene products are best not flushed. Pay attention to whether or not she does that every time she comes over, or only just for a few days every month. You might be registering it when it happens and not looking at it from a big-picture perspective.
On the bringing-up kids thing, they're telling about their kids because they are letting you know in their clumsy, over-the-top and totally human way that they 1) HAVE kids and 2) aren't going to replace them for you. They, like you, have a new perspective on the dating scene, and on men, and they have probably learned—given that they are divorced so probably didn't have a dream man last time—that men can be selfish craptards. Selfish craptardedness is not a desirable attribute in a man, especially for a chick who has kids and is probably overwhelmed with having way more parenting duties now than she did before she left Joe Douche, her X.
Good luck. And remember, the upside of your situation is that chicks on the prowl will do way more "stuff" than the tired habits of matrimony and running a household usually inspire, and plus they probably dropped 20 to 50 pounds after their divorce, so they look nice and more importantly actually are happy with themselves at the moment, which is always a nice.
I have been married for over 16 years and have two kids, one boy and one girl.
My wife will occasionally say that I don't get what her or our daughter means about something (no kidding right?)
My point is women are very complicated and many guys don't "get" them. It is true that some men are hard to get too but we are less complicated than women are.
No disrespect to the women out there, you are just more difficult to understand for our testosterone saturated minds
Maybe the reason God made us so differently is because it leaves room for relationship. If a man spends his life trying to understand his wife, there will always be something to keep his interest. If he just "got" her on the first day... he would get bored with her soon after. Where's the fun in that?
I'd love to give you some advice in answer to your concerns... but I've been trying to talk her out of dating 39 year old 'boys' and settle down with a real Man.... son!
I think that by saying, "my kids are my world," she or any other, is trying to let you in on the fact that the children have to like you and you them and probably, that they come first. As far as having to say your beautiful on "facebook" I am thinking she is either much younger than you or a little needy...the toilet paper thing made me spit tea all over myself I have no idea why she would do that, but more importantly, why you would notice...Are you the toilet paper police? I actually fuss at my children for using too much toilet paper, they call me the TP Police
I agree with tammybarnette. Her kids have to be her priority. Also, she's probably insecure about the relationship because she been burned in the past. You may be the best guy in the world, but to her you're a still a man that could potentially break her heart. About that whole toilet paper thing.... maybe she doesn't want to clog the toilet.
Oh my word... if she only knew her bathroom habits were being subjected to the critical eye of the online world, she would probably fall ever so deeply in love with you... you should tell her that we all know and see how happy it makes her.
Not sure about the trash....but, could be part of her upbringing and the waste deposal system they had and used. No one needs to live in situations of control and manipulation....the need to feed an ego publicly is a bit concerning....sounds as though she is very insecure with her self and this can lead to many problems along the road of a relationship. People in relationships should encourage and uplift each other....not feed ego's. In relationships....trust is a very important element to success....and jealousy destroys and controls....decide what you want from this person....present it....and, make an informed choice on the path that you wish to follow and pursue.
I just happened on this... it's actually really good if you're interested.
http://roxanne459.hubpages.com/hub/30-T … ationships
"Womens is so complicated."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2UszPwH … e=youtu.be
Except when we've been drinking or are hormonal- that is clearly when we frighten men the most!
That's one of the reasons I tacked on the "In general".
Hollie, I was just thinking of you and was going to start a find Hollie forum Your help is desperatley needed in the political forums, lol...but, seriously
Tammy, been there, in there, and will no doubt find myself in an immense amount of trouble!
Simple, Every body is unique. Different character, personality, attitude, behavior - in everything.
We women may be difficult to understand and vice versa. From what I learned you get to love your partner even if you don't totally understand him/her. you don'e have or need to understand everything about women, what's important is that, you get to meet a wonderful partner, ready to accept for what he/she is, and try to work things out.
woman need to understand their men and love them a little
men needs to love them way more and understand them little,
Ever hear of the book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus"? It explores the differences in attitudes and thought processes between men and women in a light-hearted but insightful way, and you might enjoy reading it (not that I ever read it from cover to cover, but I got the general idea!)
Women are more inclined (better able ) to express their feelings and emotions openly than men. So when they say their children are their world, that's because they are. Women often play a more hands-on role caring for their children than fathers do - from breast-feeding to cooking and clearing up and getting them to school on time, shopping for their clothes, ironing, sewing on buttons, putting up hems, packing their lunch-boxes and ensuring their homework is not forgotten. When both parents work, I don't know a single woman who doesn't feel that she is taking on a bigger burden of household duties and childcare than the father. Things are a lot better nowadays than they were when I was bringing up children as a single parent, but I see that there is still a big difference between the way most mothers are involved with childcare compared with fathers. Of course most fathers adore their children and many modern fathers are very involved with their children, but they don't seem to get so emotionally involved that their children are their whole world - they have a whole other world outside parenthood - career, the pub, football, and techie stuff, whilst mothers put these on hold whilst their children are young, and are more involved in organizing the family.
And when women say that their children are their whole world, they are also expressing the ground-rules that if ever there is a conflict of interest between you and their children, they have a duty to put their children first.
Toilet paper in waggerpaggers: years ago when we used to go to Spain, same problem. The waste pipes in many toilets used to be too narrow-guaged to accommodate anything substantial without a blockage, so plastic waste paper baskets were supplied for toilet paper and even when not neccesary, people were in the habit of not throwing paper down the toilet.
As for Facebook - my,my, things have moved on since I were a girl! But I can't help feeling that the woman in question must have the mental age of a sixteen-year-old or the intelligence of a turnip.
PS I have been with a man I have never understood for sixteen years - I don't even try now, I just accept.
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