Ladies, hold on your man!

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   Waitingforyouposted 12 years ago

   Are you currently in a relationship where you fully trust your man? Well ladies, let me inform you that there is no such thing as a trustworthy man unless he fears God. If your husband doesnt have a close relationship with Him, then consider your relationship up for grabs. Do you know what can cause your faithful husband to become unfaithful? Another woman wanting him. Thats it! Its as simple as that. The day she sets out to get him, she will slowly win him over and ge wont even know how he got to that point.
   
   We must be smart and cater to our husbands. All of us who feel that relationships should be 50/50 may want yo reconsider. The bible talks about how women need yo respect their husbands, and how men must love their wife.
   
   In order for men to love us we must do things for them that they enjoy. In order for us to respect them, they must fill that role of hard working providers. If the whole 50/50 was true then our roles would be screwed up and would not match the way we were wired.
   
   Ladies, love your husband and cater to the simplest things he likes. If it was so hard to find "the perfect man" wouldnt it be worth fighting for him? If you noticed him as being so perfect, be sure that someone else will notice him too. Do not allow any other woman seem better than you are. Women are sneaky and know hiw to brainwash. Do not give them that chance!

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      goldengirl88posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      OMG!  If he was the perfect man then he would not be so easily tempted would he! Though you are probably right if a woman did do practically everything for her man, cater to his every wish, respect him etc, he probably would not go elsewhere, but where does that leave her. If you want this type of relationship than that fine, but equalty works best otherwise the more passive partner, ie the women her needs are never going to be met, and in the end she will probably leave, or he will do whatever he wants to her because he believes that she will just put up with it because she puts up with the rest of his crap! And dont blame the other woman for stealing your perfect husband, he is not stypid he can actually think for himself and its the men that pursue not the women at first, once he has her that when he drops her and his true colors show!
      
      And the fact that you would call your own sex sneaky and manipulative, basically made my grandmother her grandmother turn over in there graves as hey they endured abusive and adulerous husbands because they were not the equal of men, so they set about chnaging this so we there daughters and grandaughters could actually have equal rights so im sure there real happy to know what modern women think of there suffering and efforts.

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         Waitingforyouposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         If your version of the perfect man is one who would take advantage and be demanding without being thankful of what is being done for him, then im not sure my type of perfect man would be the same as yours.
         
         We currently live in a world where things have gone from bad to worst and you are telling me women dont go after men? Are we living  in the same time era?
         
         When i said 50/50, i didnt mean we shouldnt have the right to vote. We are simply different. The day men are the ones who long to just be loved by thay perfect woman and they start giving birth, then we will be equal. Until then, it is impossible and in this life, we all have our roles.
         
         If our grandmothers saw the world the way it is toda then im sure they would turn over several times in their graves.
         
         Women who "dress" with basically no clothes on... A lot of them dress in a way where you can tell exactly what they look like naked.
         
         As far as me calling my kind manipulative, again , im not sure where you live but i can assure you that if i wanted your man, all i would have to do is get to know him, like him, know a little about you, and in time i can assure you that i will manipulate my way to his heart. I would show him how much better i am than you even if its over the stupidist thing. "Oh, you wife nags all the time about washing your cereal bowl? Gee, if i were her i would just do it, its just one bowl! Besides you do so much for her thats the least she could do for you" Really? You dont think women can GET what they want?

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            goldengirl88posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            No i dont think we can get what we want all the time, i certainly have not, in fact id say i never have. And I would like to think that women are more than just pretty faces.  However, there are women and men that would get to know someone married for the purpose of pursuing them. And there are men and women who are friends with married men and women and geniunely fall in love. It is a complicated question. But i quess you are right in away because iof your "man" was happy then he would not cheat, nor if his wife was happy would she cheat.  Everyone definaintion of the perfect spouse is different, and there is no such thing as the pereftc person. However, i dont think it too much to expect from your sposue that they be faithful and resist temptation no matter how hot the other woman is, we are all responsible for our own actions.

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      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You have a few good points.  But you seem to be glossing over the fact that it is the man who should be responsible for his own actions.   AND he should be the one to initiate and maintain good standards if he expects to be the leader of a family.   It's not right to cater to a man's every whim just so he won't be tempted by another woman.

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         MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Wow, I agree with you again.

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         Waitingforyouposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I totally agree, the man must take responsibility for his actions. How can a man see what he is really doing when he has been completely blinded? He shouldnt have allowed himself to be lured into that situation but truth of the matter is that we are all human and temptation is very real. I think eventually you become blind to the TRUTH.

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         kirstenblogposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You know, you and I don't usually agree on stuff posted here but on this one, you are spot on! Men and women should always be responsible for their own actions, always. I get so annoyed when people blame everyone else for their own irresponsible choices/actions.

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   GirgisAgeebposted 12 years ago

   This is a great Question and good answers out there and i mad a hub about that go to my profile and find it called ( How Can you keep you man forever ? Psychology of Men )

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   MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

   In addition to agreeing with Brenda, I would also like to point out that all women aren't temptresses and all atheist men will not cheat.

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      Waitingforyouposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It is true, however, unless you have control if what other women say to your husband, anything can happen

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         MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Wow, I would never want control over what anyone says to my husband.  I trust him, therefore I don't feel any need to trust the women around him or control them.  If I didn't trust him, and felt worried about what other women were saying to him, then I'd just rather not be married.

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      EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I feel a Venn diagram coming on

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         MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Jesus no... anything but that!!!!  *flees*

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         logic,commonsenseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Venn?

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            EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Can't believe I just spent 10 minutes creating this, but:
            
            
            
            
            Sorry it's so titchy.

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   TLMinutposted 12 years ago

   In my cynical moments, of which there are more than not, I agree with the OP. The only reason I don't bother with it much is that I don't want a man in my life. My youngest is still home though not for long, maybe then I'll consider it but I may just enjoy the testerone-free air for a while.
   
   Melissa, don't you mean that NOT all women are temptresses instead of all women are not? Same with the atheist men. But I'm guessing OP's point is more that a man needs to be more concerned with a much higher power to avoid giving in to the "she knows I love her and this is just lust" or "she won't know and this way I'll be happier with her" etc. I've had married men hit on me since I was 12 and I don't trust any of them. I've heard girls and women talk and I definitely don't trust them either. At All.

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   TLMinutposted 12 years ago

   Hmmm, forgot to mention that I don't think the OPs idea is foolproof at all. A man can still choose to believe that since she's so loving and understanding that she'll forgive him or that she's too dumb to notice.
   
   I DID mention already that I'm cynical about these things, didn't I?

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   MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

   Yes, actually I did mean that "Not all women are temptresses and not all atheists will cheat"
   
   It's a colloquialism that drove my professors nuts too.
   
   From my experiences, "Making men happy" so they wont cheat actually backfires.  Nothing says "Treat me like a doormat" more than actually being a doormat.
   
   With that said, I tend to take the submissive role in a relationship.  I also take the domestic role.  The first due to personality (believe it or not) the second due to personal beliefs about how I should live my life.
   
   I'm on my second marriage and I firmly believe my husband would not cheat on me.  Not because of a relationship with God (which he has) but because he loves me, feels that he is damned blessed to have me (which he is) and because he would never do anything to hurt me.  That's awesome, because I feel exactly the same way about him.
   
   The framed, autographed picture of Lorena Bobbit that I keep on my dresser might have something to do with it as well.

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      Waitingforyouposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Let me tell you from personal experience, that that is not enough. For the man i trusted with my LIFE, the one who other guys would tease bc if a pretty guy walked by he would not look, the man who slways talked about me, became exactly the perfect man that his coworker wanted for herself... It took her a year to make him realize that i wasnt as perfect as he put me out to be snd in time she showed him how much better she could be.

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         MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Let me tell you from experience...
         
         My ex-husband would have had sex with a warm bowl of soup and nothing I said or did would have stopped him.  His infidelity was HIS issue. He needed the attention to prove he was attractive and interesting.  I tried being a "good wife" and making my life about him.  I was trying to fill a big black hole that existed in him long before I met him.
         
         You don't realize it, but you are beating yourself up because you aren't perfect.  No one is and there is no way you ever could be.  It's not your fault he cheated, it's not the other woman's wily ways... It is his.  Plain and simple.  Why would you break your neck to try to keep someone who would do that?  Why would you encourage other women to become something they aren't just to make sure a man doesn't stray?
         
         It's not worth it. 
         
         And just for the record, my current husband had the opportunity to cheat with someone both prettier than me and "nicer" than me.  He declined.  That women is still on his facebook and they still are on speaking terms.  I've even invited her to the house for dinner a couple times.

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            goldengirl88posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Hi waiting for you and  melissa
            I apologise if my replys seen harsh, it just sickens me when the other woman is blamed for everything it like she is the magical creature who waved her wand and took control over his mind and body, when last tme i checked we are all in control of our own actions. Im sorry waiting for you  and Melissa that your husbands cheated on you, i know it hurts!
            But i agree if someone truely loved you than they would say no!

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            habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Mel, I think we were both married to the same guy at some point! lol

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   TLMinutposted 12 years ago

   

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   Emile Rposted 12 years ago

   People are responsible for their own actions. I take umbrage at comments implying men are bewitched. They aren't. The other woman is not the party who vowed to love and honor. The man  who cheats shames himself. It isn't the other way around.
   
   And your advice to cater to a man's simplest needs is, from my observation, the fastest way to push many a spouse to cheat. There is no such thing as 'the perfect man', except when that man works to be perfect for you. A relationship is reciprocal, or it isn't a relationship. It's groveling subservience by one of the parties.
   
   If you have to fight; you already lost. I agree, women are insecure and many exhibit a need for constant validation that they are sexy and desirable, but if the man you are with is so superficial and insecure in himself as to be the same; what good could he be in a relationship? He isn't ready to work to make one last.
   
   Women are worth a great deal more than a chauvinistic male's estimation. No woman should attempt to judge herself through those eyes.

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      mom101posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I grew up, graduated hs, got married to my first, bought and ran a company for 23 years, built 2 new homes (houses), had a son, all to just walk out taking nothing but my son.
      
      The man I married put me on a pedestal. He didn't want nothing touching me. Period. The entire time of our marriage, both of us were very faithful. No cheating. Plenty of chances but none. no desire. I waited on him hand and foot. He helped me with most anything I needed.
      
      Why did I leave? He had two hangups, one I could overlook, the other I could not. The first was either jealousy or control. I still haven't decided. The other was porn addiction. Gross porn addiction I should say.
      
      The jealousy was so bad that I wasn't allowed to talk to even my parents on the phone, I was allowed no company be it friend or family. I wasn't allowed to ride a bicycle because things might shake while riding. When I took a shower he watched (who knows how long it was before I caught him) over the shower curtain. Things like that.
      
      The porn, is my reason for leaving. His addiction was so bad that he would get up in the middle of the night when our son was small and watch porn while feeding the baby. .......He couldn't understand why I took up for the baby so much.  If he was scared, I'd let him sleep with us. If he was sick, I'd hold him, if he was whatever I did what I felt in my heart was a mothers responsibility. that is my baby. why wouldn't I? He was jealous of the baby, and didn't want kids. Things go worse, quick. So, I left.
      
      Yeah, I had it all. I'm not talking riches, but a very comfortable life. In one way.
      
      It wasn't the porn stars fault he acted the way he did. Why hate them?

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   kirstenblogposted 12 years ago

   If I have to "hold on to my man" is he worth having?
   I think I would prefer to be alone, having to "hold on to him" seems like more work then he is worth.....

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    TLMinutposted 12 years ago

    Haven't studies shown that certain parts of men's brains literally stop working when faced with a beautiful woman? Natural biological response...

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