Male-female relationships are the staple of many people's lives. Relationships are the elixir which makes living more delicious and enjoyable. However, with its positivity and ebullience, male-female relationships are often fraught with travails and angst. Men and women sometimes find themselves at war with each other over things such as gender roles, the place men and women have in their respective relationships, male insecurity regarding the changing role of women in the boardroom and bedroom, and the continuing evolution of the male-female relationship.
I want to know what is YOUR particular stance regarding the male-female relationship. How has your respective relationship evolve and/or grown or has it? Do you believe that there is a widening chasm between men and women? Do you believe that either men or women have a dominance in the relationship? Do you think that there will ever be an equal parity regarding male-female relationships? Let's discuss this!
I think each generation moves the ball forward. The children of today will grow up seeing more and more women in the boardroom just as they see the nation with black president as being (normal). Although previous generations never thought it could or would happen any toddler during 2008 only knows of President Obama. This week the Supreme Court tackles (Marriage Equality). Although it's a highly controversial topic surveys have indicated that (the youth) approve of it by 85%. They're the future.
My point is it's the older generations that will be holding onto gender roles. Although women are making major progress many of them deep down still want (the man) to propose marriage, a husband who out earns them, and provide various other "traditional" male role duties. Not too many women are signing up to have "stay at home" husbands/fathers. In fact a "double standard" still exist for such men who are (fine) with accepting such a role.
There are two key factors that make it harder for people to shed traditional roles. Religious teachings and childhood fairytales. Both plant the seed in a young girl's subconscious that (men) are the head of the household, the rescuer, the protector, and the wife is his helpmate. We all know the Bible is not going to be re-written and neither are the classic fairytales of Prince Charming rescuing damsels in distress. Therefore a girl's "formative years" are likely to be in stark contrast to her reality as an adult.
You are right on as usual. Some of the older generation are indeed holding on to racial and gender stereotypes. Younger people are looking beyond such atavistic racial and gender stereotypes. They see that women be CEOs, CFOs, and in other powerful positions and men are schoolteachers. They see media moguls such as Oprah and a Black president. They also see equal parity in relationships. To many young people, the man-woman relationship is an equal parity unlike that of my or my parents' generation.
My generation, the Baby Boomers, questioned the strict gender dichotomy regarding relationships and worked towards equality regarding male-female relationships excluding the gender mindgames that our parents, the World War Ii generation, played. There are fewer and fewer people who believe in strict gender dichotomization in terms of male-female relationships. Most people believe that relationships grow and blossom only when there is a total and complete parity between partners.
I'm not so sure about the older generation, at least the way you put it.
In general, my wife and I have adopted gender roles from 50 years ago. She cooks and cleans; I repair and do outside work. She takes care of the grandkids on a road trip; I drive. She left the workplace years before I did, and I've always earned more.
But. We chose roles that work for us and have always made that plain; what works for us will not work for everyone. Each and every couple will have to define their roles for themselves and we have always encouraged our children to do exactly that. One son, for instance, was a house husband and we fully supported that and was proud of him for it (truly proud and not just lip service).
The older generation may be taking traditional roles for themselves (they created those roles long ago and find no reason to change) but often do not see them as necessary or even appropriate for the younger generation today.
So leaving all the discussion that we're having on the other thread behind...
Let's talk about attraction instead of the same old argument about what we believe is right and wrong because we will all obviously have differing opinions.
I understand we are not talking about traditional roles. Many men would say they are attracted to a strong, confidant, modern woman (putting aside the fact that a homemaker can be all those things as well as a female CEO) but is a man naturally attracted to a "feminine" woman? I know I am way more attracted to a masculine man. I don't care if he is a stay at home dad, if he's good at it. Whatever works for his family.... but is he strong? Is he confidant? Can he protect and wisely guide his family? This is attractive to me.
Beth37, I suspect there will always be people who want it both ways especially in the privacy of their home/relationship. The majority of men want a beautiful sexy "feminine" woman. Of course this does not mean she has to be a doormat or rubberstamp the word (yes) to everything he suggests. I believe we are all confident in the roles we (choose) or else we would not take that route. As long as the couple is happy with their internal structure and support it that is all that matters. As I mentioned earlier future generations will not have the same hang ups as us "baby boomers" or even "generation Xers" There was a time when couples living together or having children out of wedlock was rare. Today neither one "shocks" us.
True. It seems that if a couple should have a more modern relationship, like the man staying home and the woman working, we should give it the same respect as a traditional role. What works for each family has it's own value.
Hi Beth 37. I think you are right it is whatever works best for each individual family. For instance my exhusband hated the fact that after I graduated from college I made more money than him. His mom pretty much always stayed home and he was raised that the man should take care of his family. Not that women shouldn't work but the man should provide more. This ended up causing lots of problems in our relationship which eventually ended.
My boyfriend now has no problem with me making more money than him. His mom always worked and for many years was the sole provider for him and his sister.
I think a lot of it comes down to how a person was raised and what they believe.
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