jump to last post 1-8 of 8 discussions (62 posts)

Sexting … why

  1. Faith Reaper profile image88
    Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago

    http://s3.hubimg.com/u/8527314.jpg
    Why and how do you believe sexting has become such a widespread phenomenon among tweens and teens?  Unfortunately, normalized sexualized images have become to children: what once may have been regarded as soft- porn are now commonplace everywhere from the Top 20 video charts to magazines.  There are already concerns that young people are unaware of the serious legal implications that sexting can have.

    1. Darksage profile image85
      Darksageposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Miss Faith, this is a good discussion, because, yes, it is one of the most controversial thing that teenagers do ever since they start to have cell phones or smart phones. I myself is a teenager, in college, and I have seen some of my friends do this. I have not yet done such thing, however, but I realized that these people who do sexting, do not know they're doing it at first.

      Why are they doing it in the first place? Well, like 50 shades of gray(I hate that book, but many people like it.) it shows words that are appealing to our senses, what I mean about that, is that it turns them on.

      Another reason why, is because of love. Not LOVE, but LUST, they don't really know how to differentiate them, yet. Being young as we are, we are subjected to these things, and we can't stop them.

      I don't really know but it happens I guess, it just depends how responsible you are.

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Yes, is it very disturbing, and I do hope parents explain to their tweens and teens just how dangerous it is for their future and it is illegal.  We are now seeing a perfect storm: girls reaching puberty at the same time as having their own phones; being able to take a picture of themselves easily; being able to distribute it cheaply. Add together the fact that teenagers today have grown up with picture messaging and that semi-nakedness is celebrated and for teenagers, one plus one equals send.

        1. Darksage profile image85
          Darksageposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Personally, the way I look at it, the more teenagers post pictures of themselves(partially naked, things like that.) or do sexting and such is because they are not appreciated enough by people around them, parents being one of them. Our generation are filled with insecurities and the only way to fix insecurity is to feel people are secure and that they are appreciated.

          I try my best to compliment my friends everytime they do good things or how beautiful they are, because indeed they are beautiful, and I try to tell them to not fall for what people do, because as I know that some people only want things from them. But it is hard. It's hard to develop trust and care for them, and it is hard to stop people(especially teenagers) from doing what makes them feel special, may it be sexting or posting pictures of them online.

          It's not just the parents Miss Faith, but society and the whole world, the way it moves and the way it acts, that is why this is happening. Sexting is just one of the least problems we're having right now, even how controversial it has become.

          1. old albion profile image69
            old albionposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Hi Faith. As an older man the whole concept seems wrong. I do try to keep abreast of the developments in life but somehow I observe moral breakdown all around. What was once not discussed is now simply used in advertising. An old saying 'never put it in writing' is long forgotten. Things said and done in life when young, can all to often smear a wonderful and loving person as time passes. Apart from the moral issue, we cannot put 'old heads on young shoulders'
            Graham.

            1. Faith Reaper profile image88
              Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              So true dear Graham. I do hope that all parents of tweens and teens have a serious talk about such issues as it has life-long bad effects on one's life.  Many teens have committed suicide after such were forwarded by a so-called trusted boyfriend and when it was meant just for his eyes.  It is as if they see nothing wrong with doing such.  They will say, well, it is no different than what Brittany Spears is doing on stage!

          2. Faith Reaper profile image88
            Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Yes, Darksage, you are so right about their insecurities and with technology right at their fingertips, they feel more secure about themselves, but then get into dangerous waters for sure.  When one sends out such a photo, who knows where it will be forwarded and future employers when they are grown could very well see it out there in cyberspace.  Once it is out there, it cannot be removed!  They may not realize that it is illegal, a crime, especially when an adult forwards such!!!

    2. The Frog Prince profile image81
      The Frog Princeposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Hang on!  I'll give Anthony Weiner a call and get right back with ya.  LMBO

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks TFP!

    3. FlourishAnyway profile image91
      FlourishAnywayposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I wonder whether it is attention-mongering and not realizing the implications of one's actions (being short-sighted, overly trusting, not having the perspective of experience).  But of course, adults do it too, as The Frog Prince points out.

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Hi Flourish,

        Yes, adults do it too, and they should know that it is illegal to do so and they could be arrested for pornography, and especially if they happen to forward one with a child in the photo.  It is no wonder, with all they see on television and everywhere in this world, that they do not even grasp that it is harming them and very dangerous indeed!

        1. psycheskinner profile image80
          psycheskinnerposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          It is completely legal for adults to sext pictures of themselves and their adult sexual partners.

          1. Faith Reaper profile image88
            Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Yes ..it is between themselves but not to send out into the world.

            1. psycheskinner profile image80
              psycheskinnerposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              The sexting part is person to person.  But actually if they want to put it on the internet that is legal too.

              The trouble seems to occur when someone send a picture to one person who is not meant to share is and then they do.  But that is also more of a moral failing or unethical action than a crime.

              I would never take the chance, but plenty of people do share nudie pics with their partners and have no problems.

              1. Faith Reaper profile image88
                Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                Yes... I am sure plenty of people do. Some have been arrestedfor distributing porn when it is forward without the consentof the person and especially received by an underaged person. It is a crime and illegal. Certainly not worth finging out or ruining one's future if such photos somehow make it out into mainstream web.

                1. profile image0
                  Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

                  I knew of a girl who was sending nude pics out to (much older) guys at the age of 13. That's beyond heart breaking.

                  The thing is, sex is an incredibly powerful thing. No matter what civilization or era you are in, it will find its way in and make itself at home. This is a technological age so the medium is not a surprise by any means. I think just the fact that kids are giving themselves away is the saddest part.

                  1. Faith Reaper profile image88
                    Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                    Yes, Beth, it is truly the saddest part that they even feel they have to do such.  Thank you for your wise insight here and you are so right about sex being a powerful thing and it will find its way into all mediums.

        2. Philanthropy2012 profile image89
          Philanthropy2012posted 3 years ago in reply to this

          As a budding lawyer to be the phrase 'arrested for pornography' made me chuckle indeed.

          1. Faith Reaper profile image88
            Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Yes, lawyers for sure tend to focus on every word.  I, too, work in the legal field in my real life as a paralegal, so I understand.  It was "arrested for distributing porn when forwarded ...."  Good luck on your practice.

    4. kidscrafts profile image84
      kidscraftsposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I think people (young and old) don't realize that what they send electronically has as much weight (if not more) than paper before.  The difference with technology is that people spread what you send!  I think people don't totally get the implication of that yet :-(  It's especially hard on the young generation because some of those things could define part of their future!

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Hi Joelle, yes doing such carries a lot of implications that a very young mind really cannot grasp as to the gravity of what they are doing to their future if such is forwarded from one person to the next to be ongoing and leaving a trail through cyberspace forever.

    5. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      We live in an era where everyone wants to be a "star"!
      This is especially true of our youth. Digital photos, video clips, Twitter, Facebook, Skype, YouTube, and various other outlets allow people to promote themselves to friends, significant others, as well as strangers.

      New technology such as "Snapchat" which will allow people to send photos/clips which disappear/auto delete after being viewed once is likely (increase) the sexting craze between both adults and teens alike.
      Some girls believe they an be the next Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton. They emulate Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Miley Cyrus who use sexuality as way to earn lots of fame and money.

      Several years ago it was not uncommon for a (woman) to have some professional "boudoir pictures" taken for her husband's eyes. Today people take "selfies" or allow their significant other to take photos or make videos of them having sex.

      Teenagers never have been known to think too far ahead into the future. Most of them believe their 15 year old boyfriend/girlfriend is going to be the person they spend the rest of their life with!

      In fact many of them consider their relationships to be on par with (adult marriages). Naturally when the relationship ends as most do this leaves their ex with countless nude photos, texts, and video clips. Immaturity leads to sharing those photos/clips online or with friends and possibly for money by posting them or various porn websites.

      The legal system is having problems trying to figure out what to do about it. If a 30 year old man were emailing photos of 14 year old nude teenagers he'd be arrested for distributing "kiddie porn". However no one wants to throw a 14 year old boy or girl in prison and have the "sex offender" crime label put on their record for life. Legally we say they are too young to consent to sex. However it's clear they are not only consenting to have sex these days but are more than happy to share images of themselves in the act. The age of innocence widow is getting smaller and smaller with each new generation.

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Great insight there, dashingscorpio, as to all that is available as far as technology which floods the still developing brains of our youth who do want to feel special in this world and may view it as a means of getting attention, when they do not realize it is not the right kind of attention to be getting and can be so very harmful and devastating in the long run. I know of some third graders who are given cell phones. Parents really need to think long and hard on this and take the time to talk with their child as to what is appropriate and what is not and point out the harm it can do in their lives and the lives of others were they to share such of their friends.

        1. dashingscorpio profile image86
          dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Faith Reaper, Great parenting suggestions! However most kids do not always listen or obey their parents. When I was younger I often (knew) when I was doing something my mother would not approve of. Teens tend to form their "own world" where they shut out quite a bit of parental rules or advice. Older folks are viewed as being "unhip" and "out of touch". This explains why so many of us had to learn things the "hard way" and later in life we shock ourselves by repeating what our parents told us to future generations. :-)

          1. Faith Reaper profile image88
            Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            Yes, I know and understand perfectly, for I thought my parents were so "stupid" when I was 16!  I know my two children, who are grown now, did not listen to a thing I said : )  ... so just had to resort to a lot of praying! 

            I know I had to learn things the hard way too. I would not want to have to be a teenager nowadays and go through what they are having to go through for sure.  If they can find a mentor they respect, it makes a big difference, plus choosing the right friends who have some smarts, makes a big impact on the direction they take in life too.

  2. profile image0
    Ghaelachposted 3 years ago

    Morning Faith.
    As an older man (like Graham), I have long thought over this problem. My conclusion is that people of our ages have been saying the same things as yourself (lovely Faith) for many hundreds of years. "What is the world coming to," was a sentence my mother would come out with when the "Teddy Boys" of the 50's and "Flower Power" of the late 60's that was the teenagers release of those years. I'm sure we all remember them, and as teenagers we all thought they where great times whether directly involved or not.
    What do you think our granparents of the 1800's and earlier said of the children at the time, exactly as my mother would have said.
    Whether we like it or not we have to admit our planet is changing all the time and the living creatures on it are changing with it. Our teenagers are and have changed since we were young and that will keep on happening.
    Faith, can you remember as a young girl doing things with your girl friends that you new your parents would not be pleased about? Well to me it's the same thing that's going on today, but we see it through our own eyes as our parents once did.
    I'm not stuffy or old fashioned, I just look at the situation as it is in 2013. Good or bad, it's a changing world.
    I wonder what these teenagers of today will be saying in 40/50 years from now????
    Ghaelach

    1. JKenny profile image89
      JKennyposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Exactly right Ghaelach, things are constantly in motion. I'm only 27, but when I was a teenager, people were already moaning about how much TV we watched and how much time we spent on our phones. I'm guessing that in the future, the current crop of teenagers will be bemoaning the fact that their children prefer spending time with intelligent robots than with their fellow humans...just a guess, I hope it never happens.

      1. profile image0
        Ghaelachposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Dito

      2. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Exactly ...JKenny!!!

    2. Faith Reaper profile image88
      Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Hello Ghaelach,

      Exactly, as their photos will still be around in 40-50 years and forever and what about their grandchildren seeing them one day!  Great thoughts you have presented here.  Thank you so much!  Yes, with technology at their fingertips, it is so easy to just hit that send button and then a life is ruined and many have been bullied too and commit suicide, sadly.  It is almost at an  epidemic stage now!  Very scary to me for my granddaughters and grandson!

  3. Sparklea profile image74
    Sparkleaposted 3 years ago

    Hi Faith,
    Being raised by my grandparents, who were born in 1898, they pounded modesty into my spirit at a very young age. 
    I doubt if anyone will agree with me on this, but I personally believe a lot of this has to do with parents and the media.

    Children are NOT taught to be modest.  I am totally against mothers taking baths and showers with their children - fathers as well.  Children are not being taught to cherish their bodies, and as they get older and begin the tween years, they want to display their bodies which leads to other things.

    Go to the mall and look at the clothes racks for young girls.  Skimpy, revealing outfits, with a word written on the back of jeans or shorts, to draw people to immediately look at their rear ends.

    One of my friend's granddaughters wanted a whole bedroom makeover for her birthday - at age 9!  She posted a picture of her walking into her new room...in a skimpy 2 piece bathing suit, which would make a pedophile take notice. 

    Since kids are not taught modesty, they don't hesitate to take off their clothes and send a picture to guys.  They do not know any different.  Of course the domino effect is the result of raging hormones, eventually leading to sex...which has become a sport, NOT what it was created for:  marriage.

    Sex is a wonderful thing, but it has become the golden calf of the world.  Sexting is just a small part of it.  We now have the third date rule: sex by the third date, but many have it on the first date.  Now this generation goes to a party to 'hook up' - they will take off their clothes for anyone.

    Sorry, this is not how I was raised.  I believe modesty begins in the crib.  Growing up I remember my sister and I running through the house naked...I think we were 8 or 9 - giggling, to impress a house guest!  Our grandfather was furious and we heard about it...And you know what?  He was right.  I never did it after that. 

    With each generation, it gets worse and worse.  I am sure that the teens are having a ball with skype...they can totally put on a show for each other. 

    If parents taught their children modesty - which I believe should start at a very young age, plus the consequences of fornication (The Bible reads FLEE FORNICATION) I believe it would help a lot...BUT, sad to say, the parents were probably never taught modesty...and so it will continue on from generation to generation.

    I am very sad to see this chain of events...I don't even know what to pray about it.  Blessings, Sparklea

    1. Faith Reaper profile image88
      Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Dear Sparklea,

      It is indeed a very sad state of affairs for our youth and any adult who participates in such.  They do not even know how dangerous it is.

      This week the charity Beatbullying published research showing just how widespread the phenomenon is. According to its findings, 38% of under-18s had "received an offensive or distressing sexual image via text or email". These explicit texts, it says, are increasingly implicated in bullying – with the photo circulated beyond its intended recipient to classmates, friends and even strangers.

      Thank you for your very insightful comments here as to this disturbing trend.  What are they going to do when they cannot find a job in the future because of such actions, and then later have such low self-esteem once they realize what they have done.  Many suffer mentally and even kill themselves after trusting a boyfriend and once that relationship ends, of course, there go all the photos out into cyberspace forever!

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

      1. Sparklea profile image74
        Sparkleaposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks Faith...all I wrote was just from my own personal perspective.  I guess it's because, as a teen, I could not imagine being immodest like today's generation is.  But times change, people change.  Things I thought were so important 10 years ago, I see differently now.  I praise God for change, it is a part of growth.  You are correct, employers do their research after they interview a candidate, and this could destroy them

        1. Faith Reaper profile image88
          Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Yes ...it seems to be the norm in today's world and no big deal with how one dresses or even the mindset of the youth and bullying as harming another just seems absent from their conscious.   Their young minds are bombarded with such images everywhere they look and so I believe they have become desensitized to it all which is the scariest part for they will be our future leaders!

  4. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 3 years ago

    When it is forwarded without the consent of the person it is not automatically a crime.  There is no specific law that makes forwarding a picture of an unclothed person without consent and different from  forwarding a picture of a clothed person without consent (unless they are underage).  You would have to prove that when they did it it amounted to defamation or harassment, unless your state has one of the new "revenge porn" bills.

  5. Faith Reaper profile image88
    Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago

    There are No Sexting laws now in several states to include Arizona , Alaska and Illinois. The Child Pornograhy Act offenses are generally Class 1 felonies. Most alarming, a sexting minor, or a recipient of a sext message fom a minor, may have committed one or more felonies under said Illinois Child Pornography Act punishable by a fine ranging from $1000 to $100, 000 or imprisonment for four to 15 years.

    1. psycheskinner profile image80
      psycheskinnerposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      These laws do not regulate or criminalize sexting adult to adult communications in any way. Adult people absolutely have the right to send pictures of their bits to anyone they like individually or en masse. It falls under freedom of expression.

      1. Faith Reaper profile image88
        Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks for commenting ...we may be getting off topic here as to the forum and the issue of why has it become such a widespread phenomenon among tweens and teens.

  6. suzettenaples profile image90
    suzettenaplesposted 3 years ago

    Faith:  Good question and topic for discussion.  I think we have become a more permissive society.  Today, teenagers are constantly bombarded with sexual images in the movies, TV and in the Internet.  Just look at the ads here on hub pages.  It is quite easy for teenagers today to find porn on the Internet.  There are permissive households and families.  Some very confused teenagers are growing up today.  As teenagers so many are followers and give in to peer pressure.  They want to liked and popular so they do things like sexting.  It is a world phenomenon and most teenagers don't realize the consequences involved. Most teenagers think only about the present and instant gradification.  They are not long term thinkers or have long term vision.  I shudder at the thought of raising children and teenagers today.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image88
      Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, so true, suzette...they are impulse thinkers and want to be in the limelight and do not take the time to think as to the consequences of their actions at the time with tragic results for not only themselves, others and their families for years to come and possibly unending.

  7. Moms-Secret profile image77
    Moms-Secretposted 3 years ago

    I believed this is the evolved form of something that was started in the 50's and 60's that just got out of control and became mainstream when it was never supposed to have.  There is a type of woman who is very self aware of her own sexuality.  She is self aware, self confident, and powerful.  She was the type of woman who posed for pin up photos and wore her skirt a little closer fitting and shorter in the early years.  This type of woman still exists and she would be comfortable sexting because all of the negatives and risks are gone.  Her photos would probably be more tastefully sexy than trashy and she would not worry who saw them because they are her artistic interpretation of herself.  Her mentality is different.  To put this in perspective, think of the mind set of a nudist woman compared to that of a conservative woman as they stand in public naked.  For one person it will be horrific and for the other its just natural.  I think the problem is that girls are doing this too young and often for the wrong reasons. They do it to win over a person not worth winning or under pressure. They do not know who they are yet and are putting themselves out there without having built the skill to handle the drawbacks.  They still don't know the difference between sexy and slutty.  Couple that with an extremely judgemental and vicious society and you have the toxic blend that ruins lives.

    My motto for all girls, young or old...  If it is something that would embarrass you if made public then it isn't something that you should be doing.  If you know that this being thrown back in your face will hurt you then save yourself the pain.  If you care what people will say about you (which I am highly against), then you have to consider this before you put yourself out there.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image88
      Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Hi Moms Secret, thank you for that new perspective as to the women of past genetations...very interesting. Yes, the young girls do not seem to understand the difference today and you used the right word to describe the mentality today ... a very vicious society for sure.  Yes, if they would just think before they act and maybe even ask themselves would they be okay for their family seeing such. Appreciate the views you have shared here.   I WANTED TO GO AHEAD AND MENTION TO ALL HERE ... please be mindful to not promote your hub here if you happened to have written a hub on this topic as it is against HP rules to do so.  I HAVE NOT PUBLISHED A HUB ON THIS TOPIC...PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF SUCH WHEN COMMENTING.  THANK YOU!

      1. Moms-Secret profile image77
        Moms-Secretposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        The hard part for me is passing this along to my daughter when the time comes.  Trying to raise a strong, self confident girl in the days where image and material things are everything is not easy but so worth it.

        1. Faith Reaper profile image88
          Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Oh, yes, Moms-Secret ... it is worth every bit to make her realize who she is, is just not what is what everyone sees on the outside for sure!  She is beautiful on the inside and well worth not disrespecting her own body, for guys/men will respect a woman who respects herself for sure!  I am just thinking of my precious granddaughters who are only three and five right now, and what they will be up against in the future!

          1. Moms-Secret profile image77
            Moms-Secretposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            I know!  In the long term we are the most powerful examples but we are so few and the world around them offers so many bad examples, especially in mass media like Romeo pointed out.  So, I pour out more of myself in hopes that she makes it out of the wilderness in tact.

            1. Faith Reaper profile image88
              Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              That is for sure, Moms-Secret!  It is just coming at them from everywhere.  I was listening to Faith Radio on my hourly commute into the city each weekday, and they were saying that children really do want their parents to talk to them about such issues, the earlier the better, for they will surely hear it from someone else if we, parents, do not address the issue first.  They will actually trust what we say, if we talk to them about it early on, rather than what the outside world says, although, there is so much peer pressure beyond belief from every medium as you state.  Yes, the more we give of ourselves and listen to them too, they more they will respect what we have to say about such issues.  Listening is good, as opposed to always just telling them "Don't do this or that ..." although that must be said, there is a way to get the point across without sounding as if we are preaching.  I was looking back through the feed here, to see what Romeo said, and I do not see his comment?  Blessings to you and your daughter.

              1. Moms-Secret profile image77
                Moms-Secretposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                That is my fault... I meant Dashingscorpio.  I knew it was someone whose work I read a lot of but confused his name for another favorite.  Thank you for the blessings.  We send some to you and your family and grand baby girls as well.

                1. Faith Reaper profile image88
                  Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                  Oh, that is okay.  Thank you so much for your kindness.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Moms-Secret you made some excellent points regarding some girls with confidence in their sexuality who are more than willing to exploit themselves to get whatever it is they want.. It was during the late 1950s and early 60s that Playboy Magazine came along and gave us "the girl next door"  soft porn photos. Every year when they do their "college girls" issue they get thousands of young women lining up with the hope of being the next "centerfold". Many of them have the blessing of their parents! Being a "Playboy Centerfold" is seen as a badge of honor.

      And of course we have the non-nudity but sexually oriented photos such as "the swimsuit issue" of Sports Illustrated Magazine, Victoria Secret Models, and Maxim Magazine covers. Being known as a "sex symbol" is a goal for many women. So called "hot looking" women are often rewarded in our society financially and given opportunities to become famous and the envy of other women.

      Unfortunately what most these young women don't realize is those women who "make it" are the (exception) and not the rule! Odds are the majority of nude photos by women will never appear in the pages of Playboy or Penthouse Magazines. Instead they'll end up in "lower class" magazines or on various porn sites. Getting fame and fortune is lot like winning the lottery. Somebody is going to win but the odds are it won't be them! :-)

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Do you believe that if they do "win" fame and fortune thru this route they've won anything at all? Does it matter whether it's a popular magazine? The end result is the same.

        1. Faith Reaper profile image88
          Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          So true, Beth, the end result is the same ...

        2. dashingscorpio profile image86
          dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago in reply to this

          Beth37, I'm fairly certain that there are those women who are grateful for their fame and wealth due to becoming a Playboy Centerfold. One such example is Jenny McCarthy who is now a co-host on the View. Not only did she pose several years ago she also did it again when she was age 39.

          The following comes from a People Magazine article.
          (If anybody wants to know why Jenny McCarthy is posing for Playboy at age 39, she's got her own question to fire right back at them.)
          "Why not?" "Why should only 20 yr olds be considered sexy?" she writes. "Let's (hear) it for the MILFs."
          I won't bother using the exact words to describe what a "MILF" is in this forum but essentially it has to do with women who are mothers that young men or men in general lust after.
          My guess is Jenny McCarthy has no regrets. I imagine there are other women like her as well. For some people getting what they want is more important than (how) they got it. Life is a personal journey. There are no "universal moral codes" that (everyone) follows.
          We often imagine that "deep down" all the strippers, porn stars, gangsters, drug dealers, escorts and prostitutes secretly "hate themselves"s and are ashamed of what they have done to get ahead. The reality is (many) people who choose to do such things have (no regrets). Some people really have a live by "any means necessary" approach to life.
          Naturally there are many others who do come to regret their actions but overall like everything else in life people have different priorities and beliefs.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

            I know what a MILF is. lol
            Im not saying posing in Playboy wouldn't make you feel sexy... at least for some.
            My point is, if it's damaging to a young girl to expose herself for men's pleasure, why would it be different for an older woman? I mean I understand the whole underage thing, and the whole making mature choices etc., but do you really think a woman has matured psychologically b/c she's 18 instead of 17? And if she's giving herself away, does it really matter if she's 40? I'm not talking about the age, I'm talking about the choice. I can tell you, there's something wrong when a woman makes that choice. It may seem sexy and fun, but that's simplifying it. There's a deep need in there that causes a woman to do it, and it's never gonna be a healthy need. Men might ogle those pics, but I guarantee you, it's a hurting woman behind that smile.

            1. EncephaloiDead profile image59
              EncephaloiDeadposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              I would agree with dashingscorpio. It would seem that the only hurting are from the women who don't have the looks to pose for those pics. It's the same for men, too.

              "If you got it, flaunt it" smile

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

                Shush, the grown ups are talking.

            2. dashingscorpio profile image86
              dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              Your statement; "I guarantee you, it's a hurting woman behind that smile." is what a lot of people say who can't imagine otherwise. There really are people who can slit someone's throat, go out dinner afterwards, and sleep like a baby! The point I'm making is there are some people who lack the capacity to feel guilt, shame, or remorse. This is especially true if no one instilled moral fibers or religious beliefs in them during their formative years.
              The reason I brought up the age thing is because the discussion began with talking about "tweens" and "teens".
              Another factor which cannot be overlooked is many women today see themselves as being "equal" to men in all ways including sexual. Your statement, "And if she's giving herself away.." These girls don't think in terms of "giving away" anything but instead they focus what they will be "getting".

              I agree with you regarding a woman or man for that matter does not instantly become psychologically mature because they went from age 17 to 18. However I imagine an arbitrary line had to be drawn to state adulthood begins at a certain age. If we're sending 18 and 19 year old young men and women into war, or trying 13 year olds as "adults" in our court systems it must mean our society believes they are mature enough in certain instances. In my opinion during (past eras) it was common for 18-21 year olds to (take on and embrace adult responsibilities) upon graduating from high school. Many of them got a job in a local factory, got married, bought a house, and started raising a family. Those generations of young adults did not sit around in their parent's basement getting high and playing video games. Even in my own life of growing up during the 60s and 70s I can see a big difference in the level of maturity between 18 year olds of my generation compared to those of today. Baby boomers were on the forefront demanding changes within the government concerning civil rights, women's rights, and anti war. Today's 18 year olds are sexting, tweeting, and going to see "The Hunger Games". Our expectations of maturity and responsibility for young people has been dramatically reduced compared to those of previous generations. Legally we say age 18 is an adult but we really see them as children today especially when it comes to dealing with sexual decisions. On the other hand we try pre-teens as adults for crimes. How can they be mature enough to know the long-term consequences of their crimes but be too immature to know the consequences of sexting? Truth be told some people really don't mature until they are in their 30s. (And others never do). LOL!

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

                As usual, I agree with most of what you say. And I understand, more than you know, about many not feeling guilt and remorse. I understand that they get something out of it and feel the pleasure of the act no matter what the intentions of the party receiving it. Where I disagree is simply the point that it's not the same digression for each soul. If you did slit someone's throat, as you suggested, with no remorse, it would still be the same act and the same result no matter what the person's feelings who committed the act. Feelings do not change facts. Whether you give a part of yourself away b/c it feels satisfying, b/c you benefit financially (which would be a form of prostitution) or whether you did it b/c you wanted to please another person, it is still the act of giving oneself away. This is not a healthy act. Should sex and love be separated? Maybe that is the real question for this thread? Many would say yes. Many would say it is simply a need, like food and water. Up to a point, it is a need, but ask a monk if one could live without it. I believe sex without love is damaging, whether one can see the harm or not.

          2. profile image0
            Motown2Chitownposted 3 years ago in reply to this

            At the end of the day, what a grown woman chooses to do with her own body is her own business.  The issue, though, is children who haven't yet learned to respect themselves and their bodies and understand that there is a right and wrong way to share their physical beauty.  When she turns 18, let her pose for whatever and whomever as she chooses.  Till then, make her understand that her value is as a person first.  Her physical appearance can be flaunted if she wishes AFTER she is mature enough to choose it for herself and AFTER she realizes it isn't necessary to do it to get others to like/respect/pay attention to her.  smile

            1. EncephaloiDead profile image59
              EncephaloiDeadposted 3 years ago in reply to this

              In a way, I would agree, but then that would have to extend to a great deal of other values we instill in our children and allow them to choose for themselves when they mature, not just that of physical appearance. But, the very same people who complain about that are teaching other false values to their children before they're able to choose for themselves. In other words, the parents aren't actually teaching values, they are just passing along their own beliefs regardless of whether or not those beliefs contain values.

              For example, teaching a child the human body is a car and the soul is the driver will obviously backfire on the parent when that child gets an education, and will then only serve to bring into question other alleged values that child was taught.

              In other words, those teachings must remain consistent if the parent is going to get any credibility from their children, or else the children may very well think their parents were lying to them about some things and not others, which can have a much more negative effect when the child matures.

              1. profile image0
                Motown2Chitownposted 3 years ago in reply to this

                Perhaps.  smile

                I'm more concerned about what I teach MY child though, especially because she's a teenaged girl.  And this is about self respect and understanding value, IMO.  What I teach her may be what I believe, but it's solid and will ensure a healthy respect for her personhood and her body.  Souls that drive aren't exactly on my radar?

                smile

  8. profile image0
    Motown2Chitownposted 3 years ago

    You know, Faith Reaper, this is something that concerns me deeply.  Especially since I've recently become the guardian of a priceless, beautiful, and amazing teenaged girl.  Her sister just gave birth to a baby at 17, fathered by a man 17 years her senior.  She's determined to be different and she shows a great deal of modesty and restraint in her dress, her actions, and her mannerisms.  One of the things I'm so grateful for is that she is completely non judgmental, but at the same time, she's very concerned for her friends who have so little respect for themselves that they might engage in sexting. 

    I'm a bit disturbed by the attitude that it's an expression of some some sort if sexual independence in young girls that's akin to what was expressed by grown women back in the day who chose to dress a little less modestly or pose for pin ups.  The important thing to remember is that these are CHILDREN-who have no true concept of the depth and meaning of sexual intimacy and for some reason think it's okay to share their most sacred possession-their body-with whomever wishes to see it.

    We've failed as an adult society to teach children their value apart from their appearance and what they're willing to GIVE to be accepted by a society that cares little about their well being and protection.

    1. Faith Reaper profile image88
      Faith Reaperposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Thank you for your wise insight here, Motown2Chitown, and it is something to be very concerned about.  I know it is a different day now, but back when I was young and chose to not have pre-marital sex (and even that was unpopular back then), for I just did not want to go that route in my life.  I do not know what stuck in my head, but it did, about respecting my body and having enough respect for myself to not allow such.  We each have to make choices in our lives, and you are so right, many so young, just cannot discern between what it wise and what is not for their own protection.  Someone must really get through to them very early on.  I pray for my two granddaughters and tell them how smart and beautiful they are, and will try to teach them early on about respecting their bodies.  Thank you for your comments.

 
working