Love Marriage Against Arrange Marriage?

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   tzblogsposted 9 years ago

   I just want to know which one is better, as they both have a problems after it

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ultimately (how) one came to be married is less important than who they married and are they happy. In the U.S. it's been reported that our divorce rate hovers around 50%.
      
      The vast majority of Americans choose their own spouse.
      Having said that it's also important to note just because a couple does not get divorced does not mean they're "in love" or "happy" either. In some countries there is a still a stigma against divorce or women lack the earning potential to become financially independent. They feel stuck!
      
      The more options one has the less crap they will put up with!
      
      When it comes to marriage and relationships (how) you got together is less important than (who) you got together with.
      There is no exact science to love and marriage.
      What worked well for one person may not for another.

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         tzblogsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         thanks for your reply.Yes there is a divorce rate is high nowadays but in my views parents should teach their child(ren) what is the right path or not because they have been gone through this all.

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            dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Life is a (personal) journey.
            
            No one can tell another person what makes "them" happy.
            Everyone has their own "mate selection" criteria and traits they want in their ideal mate. The "perfect person" for you may not be what your children consider to be "perfect for them".
            
            The easy thing is go over one's "list" of traits such as height, weight, education, occupation, and background check for criminal records. However it the (intangibles) that often sink relationships. Lack of "chemistry", not sharing similar sense of humor, sexually incompatible, having different ideas of how the household should be run.
            Gender expectations and personality clashes.
            
            

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   Katrina Bourkeposted 9 years ago

   Doubt one is better than the other. Marriage requires lots of effort from both parties, give and take etc. Whether arranged or free choice ultimately the success of the marriage will depend on how well the married couple are able to work together for the 'greater' good.

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      tzblogsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your reply. May be it depends don't you think ? O

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   UnnamedHaraldposted 9 years ago

   Arranged marriages are about familial control. If you are content to be a part of a mini-hive in the hopes that someday you will be the master, fine, but be prepared to be old by the time that happens-- if it ever does. If tribal loyalty is your thing, I'm sure there is profit in that. Personally, I find the cost too great. If I had to choose between an arranged marriage and no marriage at all, I would choose the latter and be an outcast and free.

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      tzblogsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hahaha Nice Comment.Thanks For your reply

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   VationSaysposted 9 years ago

   Love marriage: you start happy
   Arrange marriage: you start satisfied
   
   What happens after the marriage is up to the couple.
   
   Arranged marriages: have survived the test of time, working in different countries, across different cultures, for centuries. Sometimes they grow to love each other, other times to resent each other. But statistically, they survive.
   Love marriages: lost count of the couples that married 'out of love' today that have got divorced. Marriages based on true love can survive anything. Marriages based on this farce that people call 'love' can barely survive a disagreement about which place to live.
   
   Ideally love marriages are the best. But it has to be genuine love.

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      Glenis Rixposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I think that an arranged marriage is fine if it is conducted with the willing consent of both parties. I have several friends who had traditionally arranged marriages in India and they seem very happy, though one said that she and her husband were virtual strangers when they married and had to get to know each other after the event. On the other hand, I know people who were very much 'in love' when they married and they are now divorced. Romantic love lasts only for a few very lucky couples - the real thing kicks in later, hopefully, (as it presumably does for those in arranged marriages). 'Marriage in haste, repent at leisure' is the old adage. Fundamentally, marriage is a contract - which perhaps both parties should enter into after discarding the rose-tinted spectacles; and which they should work hard to make successful. I write this as someone wise after the event - I divorced many years ago after thirteen years of marriage. Read The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, a psychologist and married man. He seems to have it nailed - 'love is a verb not an adjective'.

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      tzblogsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Agree with you VationSays.

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