Which is more successful, love or arrange marriage?

1. 61

   lovelife999posted 14 years ago

   Tell me about your opinion about marriage.

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      Springboardposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I could never imagine an arranged marriage ever working like a loving relationship would.

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   2. 75

      sasanquaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Any marriage can work or fail, regardless of whether it was arranged or not. Couples who were madly in love when married may get divorced. Couples that had their marriage arranged may fall in love and have a long married life together. Every situation is different.

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      Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Depends what you mean by "successful".
      Arranged marriages tend to last longer (statistically proven).

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      1. 82

         kerrygposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, but bear in mind that in most societies that practice arranged marriages, divorce is still a very strong stigma.

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   4. 71

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      To be nice, I'll attempt to answer the topic question and then I'll give you how it is really.
      
      Love makes for a more succesful marriage than an arranged one.
      
      However, the question is subjective to begin with. Success and how it is measured? Has many different factors. Not all of which are known. Hence, unknown factors.
      
      Since, unknown factors exist, then there is no objective conclusion can be drawn from answering your question.
      
      Marriage, in and of, itself is a religious terminology. Hence, it's use is based on those of a religious belief.
      
      Technically, in the U.S. there is suppose to be a separation of church and state? Therefore, marriage shouldn't exist in the first place. Therefore, it would come down to a Union or Partnership.
      
      There is nothing sacred, per se, about spending your life with someone else, committed to one another bound by love. There is absolutely no reason for a piece of paper to mean so much and the actual union be less.
      
      This instantly damages the relationship. Yes, there are supposed "benefit", but that's just money? Regardless of what form you receive it. The relationship is key and should be formed on a love connection.
      
      Marriage should be an act, if done, should be done once. Yes, I know, other circumstances factor in. However, if you don't settle and you keep looking for that love connection, you will eventually find it.
      
      Life is but a circle. Love is always in the air. It surrounds humanity like a glove, but most cannot feel it, due to the lack of love for themselves or their life.

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   5. 83

      SEO IT!posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I believe loving someone is as much a choice as it is a feeling. When you set out to actively love someone, the feelings happen naturally.
      
      Arranged marriages can work just as well as those that start with flutters and butterflies. In fact, if both make a point of learning about the other and put the effort into it, an arranged marriage may work out better than a marriage where the couple is "so in love"!
      
      When marriage is based soley on feelings, you end up in dangerous territory. Feelings fade! That is why there are thousands of people getting divorced and saying, "I just didn't love him/her anymore..."
      
      Regardless of how a marriage begins, the only way to keep it going successfully and happily is to choose to see love as a verb.
      
      Love is tremendously important. People just need to see it differently.

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   6. 0

      L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can two people in an arranged marriage get divorced?
      
      If not then that might answer your question - you can fall out of love and get divorced.
      
      If you can't fall out of an arranged marriage and get divorced then by default an arranged marriage may be more successful...

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2. 72

   AEvansposted 14 years ago

   love I could not imagine having to be told who to marry especially if I did not even like them. I have seen arranged marriages and some of them not all are so unhappy but stuck in the marriage they do not want to be in.

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   1. 61

      lovelife999posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      but it is essential affair of life...

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      lovelife999posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      don't you think one has to do it?

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3. 58

   Gina Cooleposted 14 years ago

   Surely isn't the ideal an arranged marriage that works - ie one where the couple fall in love?  Maybe it is possible to have both love and an arranged marriage?  I'd rather find my own man but I also respect other cultures where the family arranges things.

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4. 78

   brimancandyposted 14 years ago

   I think if an arranged marriage meant marrying someone who was filthy rich, that might have some advantages. Usually arranged marriages are made for money, or over religeon.
   
   I would be the hollywood wives type. If she wants to marry me to make daddy happy, doesn't mean I can't find love on the side.
   Or, her find what she really wants, as kind of a win/win situation. I'm sure we could be friends.
   
   Of course it would be mutual consent. I would never lead her on, I would only make a deal if she wanted it. Some people do get married just for the sake of shutting everyone else up!
   
   But, that could just be the Nyquil talking.

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5. 62

   Mama Sezposted 14 years ago

   In my opinion success in marriage doesn't depend solely on how it was established...love or arranged.  We can say that there is a better chance of success if the union was done for love's sake but in the end, it is the couple's commitment to stay in love or become in love (in the case of arranged marriage) and stay happy together that will truly matter.
   
   Hi to everybody in this forum

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6. 85

   wychicposted 14 years ago

   personally I'd have to say love. However, there is something to be said for arranged marriages in that people go into it without any expectations. One of the biggest killers of relationships with someone you love is the excessive, unreasonable expectations many people have of their relationship. The most successful marriage I personally know of was an arranged one, and it ended up lasting almost 80 years. I know this isn't normal, but it can definitely happen, and how often can that be said for marriages of love?

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7. 68

   goldenpathposted 14 years ago

   Opinions are going to be skewed according to each persons mindset and society environment.  In a society where arranged marriages are the norm the ability to function and be happy in such arrangement are present and easily accessed as the abilities to function in a marriage of the individual's choosing. 
   
   The important things to remember is that any successful marriage cannot be viewed as "50/50" but rather 100% input from both partners.  It is the full heart and soul from both to exalt their marriage not only to the body's death but also to perpetuate the vow beyond the grave into eternity.

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8. 38

   efeguyposted 14 years ago

   love is better than arrange marriage.my view.
   
   have never seem any arrange marriage that work.or have you?

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      Petra Vlahposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All through history marriages were arranged for economic reasons or to consolidate political power. The concept of love-marriage is fairly new

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9. 0

   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   How about you arrange to be in love and then get married?

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      Colebabieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can you "arrange to be in love"?

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10. 80

    cindyvineposted 14 years ago

    Pay me enough and I can arange to show love lol

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11. 51

    curioxatposted 14 years ago

    Love hands down. I think its such a shame that people are still pushed together for the sake of marriage in the 21st century.

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12. 59

    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I'd be really upset if someone arranged for me to marry sneako.

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13. 82

    kerrygposted 14 years ago

    My husband's culture practices arranged marriages, and honestly, I think they have about the same "success" rate as love marriages. Both have advantages and disadvantages.
    
    I do think that people in arranged marriages seem to try harder to work out their differences when they run into trouble, which I think is a good thing - too many Western couples seem to just give up.
    
    But some marriages really do need to end in divorce, and it's much easier to do that in the West, which is also a good thing.
    
    I know some couples who are very happy in arranged marriages, but I also know some who are completely miserable, but stuck there (especially the women) because divorce is not socially accepted. Three of my husband's aunts are stuck with unfaithful husbands, one to the point that he abandoned her for a second wife. One of his cousins recently did obtain a divorce after almost ten years of emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse by a husband who not only cheated on her, he also gave her herpes as a result. Yet SHE is the one who is getting called a slut. That is an outrage against human decency, but it's 100% par for the course in her culture.
    
    Personally, it's also a really weird mental disconnect to me that some of my female relatives by marriage think my sister is a slut for living with her boyfriend of 7 years without being married to him, yet they married and had sex with men they'd barely seen before, let alone talked to. Honestly, to me, the only difference between that and hooking up with some random stranger in a bar is that if he sucks in bed, you're stuck with him!

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14. 59

    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Psychologists say that falling in love is a form of insanity.

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       skyfireposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Why is that ?

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15. 59

    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Psychologists say it because they get paid to do so.

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16. 75

    skyfireposted 14 years ago

    Point.

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17. 59

    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    "Falling in love" distorts our ability to see reality with our usual objectivity. The object of our love appears faultless until we have "fallen out of love". By which time we are usually in a really messy situation.

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18. 55

    yenajeonposted 14 years ago

    I am a strong believer against arranged marriages. My mother married  a man (my father) who was WAY 'below her family's status' (aka they were super rich and influential and my dad's family was dirt poor). My family threatened to disown my mother but she married him anyway.
    
    Now, my father has become very very successful and they are still happily married, and its been 21 years!

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