Which is more successful, love or arrange marriage?

Jump to Last Post 1-18 of 18 discussions (30 posts)
  1. lovelife999 profile image60
    lovelife999posted 14 years ago

    Tell me about your opinion about marriage.

    1. Springboard profile image82
      Springboardposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I could never imagine an arranged marriage ever working like a loving relationship would.

    2. sasanqua profile image78
      sasanquaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Any marriage can work or fail, regardless of whether it was arranged or not. Couples who were madly in love when married may get divorced. Couples that had their marriage arranged may fall in love and have a long married life together. Every situation is different.

    3. Black Lilly profile image60
      Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Depends what you mean by "successful".
      Arranged marriages tend to last longer (statistically proven).

      1. kerryg profile image83
        kerrygposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Yes, but bear in mind that in most societies that practice arranged marriages, divorce is still a very strong stigma.

    4. Cagsil profile image70
      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      To be nice, I'll attempt to answer the topic question and then I'll give you how it is really.

      Love makes for a more succesful marriage than an arranged one.

      However, the question is subjective to begin with. Success and how it is measured? Has many different factors. Not all of which are known. Hence, unknown factors.

      Since, unknown factors exist, then there is no objective conclusion can be drawn from answering your question.

      Marriage, in and of, itself is a religious terminology. Hence, it's use is based on those of a religious belief.

      Technically, in the U.S. there is suppose to be a separation of church and state? Therefore, marriage shouldn't exist in the first place. Therefore, it would come down to a Union or Partnership.

      There is nothing sacred, per se, about spending your life with someone else, committed to one another bound by love. There is absolutely no reason for a piece of paper to mean so much and the actual union be less.

      This instantly damages the relationship. Yes, there are supposed "benefit", but that's just money? Regardless of what form you receive it. The relationship is key and should be formed on a love connection.

      Marriage should be an act, if done, should be done once. Yes, I know, other circumstances factor in. However, if you don't settle and you keep looking for that love connection, you will eventually find it.

      Life is but a circle. Love is always in the air. It surrounds humanity like a glove, but most cannot feel it, due to the lack of love for themselves or their life.

    5. SEO IT! profile image81
      SEO IT!posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I believe loving someone is as much a choice as it is a feeling. When you set out to actively love someone, the feelings happen naturally.

      Arranged marriages can work just as well as those that start with flutters and butterflies. In fact, if both make a point of learning about the other and put the effort into it, an arranged marriage may work out better than a marriage where the couple is "so in love"!

      When marriage is based soley on feelings, you end up in dangerous territory. Feelings fade! That is why there are thousands of people getting divorced and saying, "I just didn't love him/her anymore..."

      Regardless of how a marriage begins, the only way to keep it going successfully and happily is to choose to see love as a verb.

      Love is tremendously important. People just need to see it differently.

    6. profile image0
      L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can two people in an arranged marriage get divorced?

      If not then that might answer your question - you can fall out of love and get divorced.

      If you can't fall out of an arranged marriage and get divorced then by default an arranged marriage may be more successful...

  2. AEvans profile image73
    AEvansposted 14 years ago

    love I could not imagine having to be told who to marry especially if I did not even like them. I have seen arranged marriages and some of them not all are so unhappy but stuck in the marriage they do not want to be in. smile

    1. lovelife999 profile image60
      lovelife999posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      but it is essential affair of life...

    2. lovelife999 profile image60
      lovelife999posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      don't you think one has to do it?

  3. Gina Coole profile image60
    Gina Cooleposted 14 years ago

    Surely isn't the ideal an arranged marriage that works - ie one where the couple fall in love?  Maybe it is possible to have both love and an arranged marriage?  I'd rather find my own man but I also respect other cultures where the family arranges things.

  4. brimancandy profile image78
    brimancandyposted 14 years ago

    I think if an arranged marriage meant marrying someone who was filthy rich, that might have some advantages. Usually arranged marriages are made for money, or over religeon.

    I would be the hollywood wives type. If she wants to marry me to make daddy happy, doesn't mean I can't find love on the side.
    Or, her find what she really wants, as kind of a win/win situation. I'm sure we could be friends.

    Of course it would be mutual consent. I would never lead her on, I would only make a deal if she wanted it. Some people do get married just for the sake of shutting everyone else up!

    But, that could just be the Nyquil talking.

  5. Mama Sez profile image64
    Mama Sezposted 14 years ago

    In my opinion success in marriage doesn't depend solely on how it was established...love or arranged.  We can say that there is a better chance of success if the union was done for love's sake but in the end, it is the couple's commitment to stay in love or become in love (in the case of arranged marriage) and stay happy together that will truly matter.

    Hi to everybody in this forum smile

  6. wychic profile image84
    wychicposted 14 years ago

    personally I'd have to say love. However, there is something to be said for arranged marriages in that people go into it without any expectations. One of the biggest killers of relationships with someone you love is the excessive, unreasonable expectations many people have of their relationship. The most successful marriage I personally know of was an arranged one, and it ended up lasting almost 80 years. I know this isn't normal, but it can definitely happen, and how often can that be said for marriages of love?

  7. goldenpath profile image67
    goldenpathposted 14 years ago

    Opinions are going to be skewed according to each persons mindset and society environment.  In a society where arranged marriages are the norm the ability to function and be happy in such arrangement are present and easily accessed as the abilities to function in a marriage of the individual's choosing. 

    The important things to remember is that any successful marriage cannot be viewed as "50/50" but rather 100% input from both partners.  It is the full heart and soul from both to exalt their marriage not only to the body's death but also to perpetuate the vow beyond the grave into eternity.

  8. efeguy profile image40
    efeguyposted 14 years ago

    love is better than arrange marriage.my view.

    have never seem any arrange marriage that work.or have you?

    1. Petra Vlah profile image60
      Petra Vlahposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All through history marriages were arranged for economic reasons or to consolidate political power. The concept of love-marriage is fairly new

  9. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

    How about you arrange to be in love and then get married?

    1. Colebabie profile image60
      Colebabieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can you "arrange to be in love"?

  10. cindyvine profile image68
    cindyvineposted 14 years ago

    Pay me enough and I can arange to show love lol

  11. profile image49
    curioxatposted 14 years ago

    Love hands down. I think its such a shame that people are still pushed together for the sake of marriage in the 21st century.

  12. Niteriter profile image61
    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I'd be really upset if someone arranged for me to marry sneako.

  13. kerryg profile image83
    kerrygposted 14 years ago

    My husband's culture practices arranged marriages, and honestly, I think they have about the same "success" rate as love marriages. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

    I do think that people in arranged marriages seem to try harder to work out their differences when they run into trouble, which I think is a good thing - too many Western couples seem to just give up.

    But some marriages really do need to end in divorce, and it's much easier to do that in the West, which is also a good thing.

    I know some couples who are very happy in arranged marriages, but I also know some who are completely miserable, but stuck there (especially the women) because divorce is not socially accepted. Three of my husband's aunts are stuck with unfaithful husbands, one to the point that he abandoned her for a second wife. One of his cousins recently did obtain a divorce after almost ten years of emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse by a husband who not only cheated on her, he also gave her herpes as a result. Yet SHE is the one who is getting called a slut. That is an outrage against human decency, but it's 100% par for the course in her culture.

    Personally, it's also a really weird mental disconnect to me that some of my female relatives by marriage think my sister is a slut for living with her boyfriend of 7 years without being married to him, yet they married and had sex with men they'd barely seen before, let alone talked to. Honestly, to me, the only difference between that and hooking up with some random stranger in a bar is that if he sucks in bed, you're stuck with him!

  14. Niteriter profile image61
    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Psychologists say that falling in love is a form of insanity.

    1. skyfire profile image81
      skyfireposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Why is that ?

  15. Niteriter profile image61
    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Psychologists say it because they get paid to do so.

  16. skyfire profile image81
    skyfireposted 14 years ago

    Point.

  17. Niteriter profile image61
    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    "Falling in love" distorts our ability to see reality with our usual objectivity. The object of our love appears faultless until we have "fallen out of love". By which time we are usually in a really messy situation.

  18. yenajeon profile image70
    yenajeonposted 14 years ago

    I am a strong believer against arranged marriages. My mother married  a man (my father) who was WAY 'below her family's status' (aka they were super rich and influential and my dad's family was dirt poor). My family threatened to disown my mother but she married him anyway.

    Now, my father has become very very successful and they are still happily married, and its been 21 years!

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)