What do you favor love marriage or arranged marriage?

1. 72

   pankaj3625posted 15 years ago

   Hi fellow hubbers.
   
   Kindly share your views regarding on the topic--Love marriage versus arranged marriage.

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2. 56

   broalexdotinfoposted 15 years ago

   I think you are in the wrong thread

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3. 83

   kerrygposted 15 years ago

   I think you posted in the wrong thread, but to answer your question, I prefer love marriages because, based on my own experience as an American married to a man from a culture where arranged marriage is the norm, the ratio of happy to miserable marriages is about the same with both systems, but societies with love marriages are more accepting of divorce, so you have a better chance of escaping your misery and trying again.
   
   In my husband's culture, a divorced woman is automatically assumed to be a slut by almost everyone who doesn't know her and most people who do, even if her husband was the real cheater, even if he was abusive or alcoholic or drug-addicted. That's not only backwards, it an outrage against human rights.

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   1. 72

      pankaj3625posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It's not the question of Americans only......The question is for general person...........including Indians..........where lots of families are still happy with arranged marriages. Anyways thx for ur reply.

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4. 60

   Rangerwifeposted 15 years ago

   Love makes a marriage strong.  I suppose an arranged marriage could last, but the people would probably be unhappy.  My parents used to have guys they hoped I'd be interested in, but I never was.  Once I thought about marrying one of these guys.  He was a great guy, but I didn't have any feelings for him.  It was a good friend of mine that made it clear to me that I couldn't marry if there was no love for this man.  I took that advice and a couple years later married the most perfect man in the world.  We've been married for 3 years now, and my love for him only grows stronger.  I'm so glad that I waited until I found love.  We're happy, and when we have hard times, it's easier to get through because we care about each other so much.

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5. 78

   SweetiePieposted 15 years ago

   I am not all big on arranged marriage, but my great grandparents had one and were very happy.  Some arranged marriages can be more successful than marriages based on love and lust.  I am not saying that arranged marriages are the way to go, but I do not think they are as bad as some people think.

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   1. 72

      pankaj3625posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Wat I feel is that arranged marriages are better than the love ones......If taken the data, all love marriages are not a success as well as not all arranged marriages. But if compared, arranged ones have great number of successes.

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6. 0

   girly_girl09posted 15 years ago

   I'm sure there are still some cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, however I'm glad that they are not considered to be a good thing in the U.S. Of course parents hold high expectations and may favor for you to marry someone in particular, but at the end of the day, no one is going to be like "you're this age and you need to marry this particular man".
   
   I would never want to nor could I marry someone who I didn't know well and did not love. Not only would that be unfair to myself, but it would be unfair to him as well as any potential future children.
   
   I don't know anyone who has been in an arranged marriage, but from what I've heard they usually are not favorable towards woman, rather towards men. I don't think it should be the family's decision. As long as you are an adult you have every right to choose who you care for and want to spend the rest of your life with.
   
   If your chosen partner eventually leads to divorce, then so be it. At least it was your decision to get married and not anyone elses! It was your mistake and you couldn't blame it on your family, just you and your partner.

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   1. 0

      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I'm such a romantic so I would go with love marriage. I would like to point out though that some arranged marriages do eventually work. I have 2 close Indian friends whose parents had arranged marriages and they are still together. (but now they are trying to arrange a marriage for one of them and she's so reluctant - bless her)
      
      There's no guarantee on Love Marriages these days. Go with your heart

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   2. 72

      pankaj3625posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      U might b right, but I feel differently.  It was your parents who taught you to eat, to walk, to learn, to choose your career. If they chose everything in your life correctly, then they will surely choose your life partner according to your suitability. So it would be wrong to say that you should take your own decision in only this matter. Parents also play some role, no doubt major role, in your life. How can anybody think, that parents will not be able to find a suitable match for him/her.
      
      Regarding examples, I myself am having many of my friends with arranged marriages and living satisfactorily with their families. On the other hand, some friends with love marriages are happy but not all; some got divorced and some got separated from their parents. I am not saying that love marriages are wrong, but arranged marriages can also be a great success. I agree to your point that you should have your own choice.....that choice could be among the guys your parents have chosen for you also. If you love somebody and your parents are agree to it...then it would add feathers in the cap, but that would be love-cum-arranged marriage.
      
      So, in a nutshell, love marriages and arranged marriages are two faces of a coin in which one could not say one wrong or the other right. But if data is computed all over the world, arrange marriages would be found upper hand. This can be proved by the fact that in India arranged marriages are held more than any other country, and one can see only in India there are lesser cases of divorces as compared to other countries.
      
      Anyways. Thanks for your reply

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7. 66

   Ivorwenposted 15 years ago

   I favor love marriages, for the simple fact that I am so glad I was able to chose who I married.  I could not imagine marrying someone of my fathers choice, because I know what kind of man he would have chosen for me.  What he values most is different from what I value most. 
   
   Having said that, I think that arranged marriages can work quite well, since both parties enter it with the knowledge that marriage is a commitment/covenant, not based on feelings, and therefore have more reason to work together to make a happy home.

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   1. 72

      pankaj3625posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Nice views. You understand the family values. You must be from a very genius and ethical family. Thanks for reply. Hope to hear from you more.

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8. 0

   pgrundyposted 15 years ago

   No marriage. Most of the time marriage is a lot better for the man than it is for the woman. Men have lower rates of heart disease and live longer if they are married. Women have shorter lives and more illness if they are married. It doesn't matter if it's love or arranged or how it came about, it's not usually a very good deal for the wife.

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      JonTutorposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I love Ya... Next time my GF starts talking about marriage I gotta let her know this....LOL

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      k@riposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      pgrundy,  You took the words right out of my mouth!  And said it so much more eloquently!

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9. 57

   Tobla Howellposted 13 years ago

   I think that arranged marriages are a good idea. As a WASP and Canadian and experienced I wish that someone wise would choose a potential husband for me. In an arranged marriage this is only potential. There is a push to make it work but that is all there is.
   The goal of an arranged marriage is to assist a young person in making a very serious decision about the person they choose to live with for the rest of their lives and to raise a or many children.
   An arranged marriage is an act of love and a lot of work and consideration on part of the family. The intentions are for the best possible match for the loved one. No family would reject claims of unsuitability on the part of the person being matched.
   
   It is a good system.

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10. 65

    ThunderKeysposted 13 years ago

    I'd like to add that I read a research summary that said arranged marriages had less than a 5% divorce rate. Is that true?

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