How can you tell if someone is really your friend?
Is it longevity? Wisdom? Kindness? What?
It is a good question. Who is my best friend. The same question was asked to Jesus by one of the expert in the law. I would like to reproduce the story hereunder:
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[c]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins[e] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
Now I hope you understand who is your best friend.
Have many good friends.
I have to agree with Hasifa on this one - if you have to question whether they are, or harbor any doubts about it, then likely they truly are not.
Friends act like friends - they don't back stab, or treat you like a bank, or a free place to sleep. They don't make the relationship one sided, and they will listen to anything you have to say, even if all they can do is listen.
Longevity does not necessarily make a good friend. Longevity means that both parties agree that their mutual company is something that is desired, wanted or needed depending whether the other was filling the void of companionship or that they just did not want to be alone.
Wisdom is a great precursor for assessing friendship. If a person is willing to give part of themselves by imparting knowledge (especially by what they have learned or experience),I would say you were on the right track. On the other hand if the other was giving you their wisdom without your needing, wanting or without their truly listening to what your need were, I would say that unfortunately they were giving you their time to make themselves feel good.
Now were on to kindness, kindness is also an excellent nod that you and your friend are on the right track. Being kind takes a lot of effort because it very often requires the sacrificing of time and the accessing of internal resources.
And as for the what at the end of your question, I would say if you can look back on the "friendship" and can find mutual respect, care and honest to goodness good times, and can look to the present and future can see more of the same I can say in my humble opinion you may have a friend.
Questioning your friendship if indeed it passes your test could be a matter of personal growth on your part or your friends or maybe both. Personal growth brings change of opinions, interests and attitudes. And this could be what you are experiencing.
Hope this helps!
Your friendly universal Riley
you can and deep down you know.....it is the same as haing a good feeling about something. That feeling never goes away because this person and the relationship that you have s consistent. I will compare it to feeling safe or secure, you know that not only will they protect you from harm, they wont bring any to you. As for longevity, it goes both ways, one person can't bring longevity to a relationship, it is a innocent give and take through bonding that brings longevity. When you have a friend that makes you feel this way, be sure that they are indeed more than a friend (of course in a platonic way)
Vonda G. Nelson
If you have feelings for him/her. For example the feeling of comfort when your around the person. Ask yourself am I being myself around these people. If you are and your true personality is showing your probably with the people you love. And also ask yourself if you have fun around your friends, and are they there for you if something happens. Friends can't just be judged on one aspect, but these questions you should ask yourself should help out.
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