how do you learn to trust people again when everyone you trusted, deceived you,

1. 61

   TheChosenOneposted 15 years ago

   how do you learn to trust people again when everyone you trusted, deceived you, and was not a real f
   
   not being able to trust people really is not a happy feeling

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2. 67

   Rainbow777posted 15 years ago

   Hello
   
   It has been my experience that trust is earned. It is very difficult to trust anyone, after you have been betrayed and hurt. I think it depends on the level of trust that was broken.
   
   Speaking for myself, once betrayed I have to cut them out of my life. I find that history repeats itself. I have also learned to be real picky about forming relationships.
   
   I know that I am a good and trusting person, and I have built walls around me, only those that I feel are worth in can get inside.

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3. 55

   chechlor.harrisonposted 15 years ago

   WELL IF THAT PERSON DID SOMETHING BAD TO YOU JUST FORGIVE THEM AN TRY TO START YOUR FRIENDSHIP OVER TRUST ME HE OR SHE LOVE YOU AN THAT PERSON SORRY FOR THERE DOING FORGIVE THEM YOU WILL FILL SO MUCH BETTER

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4. 60

   Sarah m Marieposted 15 years ago

   This must be very difficult for you.  If everyone you trusted deceived you, then there are often deeper issues.  Are you, for whatever reason, seeking out superficial friendships or relationships?  Sometimes we bring temporary relationships into our life because we ourselves are not sure about what we have to give.  Other times, friendships begin in youth or during less stable times in our life and with maturity or growth comes the realization that these friendships no longer fit where we are in our life. 
   
   Think about what you need from a friend.  Think about what you have to give.  Then talk to some people.  Get involved with activities or groups that interest you.  Give yourself time to let friendships and trust build based on mutual respect and kindness.  Every once in a while, evaluate where a friendship is.  Are you feeling respected?  Are you being honest within the relationship about who you are?  Does this other person listen to you and honor you?
   
   Trust your instincts.  You will heal.  And you will find people who love and support you.  These are the people to build trust with again.

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5. 61

   magicmama13posted 15 years ago

   For me trust is not something you give so easily! It is something you slowly gain. I trust a select few. Thay have all passed my trust tests. If I tell you something, I shouldn't hear about it from somebody else. I do not repeat anything that someone tells me because it is not my story to tell. I also figured out that everybody trusts atleast one person. So that kind of stinks. LOL Next thing you know everybody knows. I don't put my trust in words. Only ACTIONS! ACTIONS are a lot more powerful.

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6. 62

   John Drakeposted 15 years ago

   The problem, as I see it, is embedded in the question.  What are the chances that "everyone" is deceitful?  Slim to none?  So the answer appears to be an issue with your relating to others.  By this I mean that people, for the most part, create their own problems and then put the blame on others.
   
   It is highly unlikely that everyone (or maybe anyone) is intent on deceiving you.  It is more likely that your behavior has created a problem.  Socially adept people do not generally have sociability concerns.  They are treated in kind... receiving what they give.
   
   A lack of sensibility to others (being self-centered) my be your biggest problem.  Another, though less important, issue may be your ability to choose friends wisely.

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7. 61

   TheChosenOneposted 15 years ago

   John Drake, in your comment everything you said was wrong, wrong, wrong, I'm a loving person, I always reach out to help other people,very straight forward, I don't talk behind another person back because that's just so fake,I Don't lie and don't like to be lied to, because people that feel they need  to lie are cowards,I don't go around trying to seek approval from anyone, I'm not fake I would like my friends to be honest,and trustworthy,I don't see anything wrong with that, friends that keep their word, I'm not self centered not even a little bit, sometimes I feel like if I were then I wouldn't have had these situations, but that kind of behavior is out of character for me, I won't let people or the problems of this world, change who God, created me to be, I have compassion for people, and I won't close my heart from helping people, I don't have anything to do with those people from my past anymore,I forgive them for what they have done, because not forgiving someone only hurts you,their loss, not mine.

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