What qualities build trust in friendships and relationships?
How do you decide to trust someone? Does your 'trust radar' work well, or have you ever been mistaken?
Oh, I have been mistaken. Trust is a hard thing to have the older and more experienced I am in life.
Consistency, You see how that person may treat others, talk about others and scheme others. Just as they say if your friend is bad mouthing another friend to you, chances are they are doing the same about you to someone else. Watch what information/secrets they share with you because of they trust you have shown them they can have in you. Just because you see that they are not they friend you need, be a friend to them and show them what is expected from stable adult relationships.
Trust like respect is (earned) over time.
Someone has to (demonstrate trustworthiness) before I trust them. Essentially I must see acts of honesty and integrity!
I've heard of other people who do just the opposite: "I'll trust anyone until they prove me wrong." That is a conman's dream!
My trust radar works very well because I'm not one who easily trusts others. On occasion I have made a mistake but it's fairly rare. I think I'm a good judgment of character with those whom I spend a good amount of time with.
My "radar" has been disappointed in the past; however, in my opinion, trust is generated over time and tested by consistency, demonstrated adherence to principle, and candor. If one cannot be consistent and reliable in small things, we cannot expect reliability on larger issues. A fellow I knew as a sales representative for our employer changed his opinions or background to better relate to an intended customer, and I thought that a bit odd. He was a good salesman, a revenue generator, but his integrity was as plastic as his credit cards. Another who boasted of his own integrity seemed to have difficulty remembering his marriage vows on business trips.
We observe acquaintances or coworkers who make commitments and fail to live up to them, appointments that are easily forgotten, claims that are meaningless, and we have to wonder about the merit of their word.
The deeds have to match the words. If a person claims to be thorough or meticulous in issues requiring attention to detail but cuts corners in key areas for his own convenience, that inconsistency is telling. Another claims to honor the confidence or trust of others but betrays that in gossip. Can you expect any more of this person?
An individual makes a mistake or miscalculation and refuses to report or admit it...worse, implies another is responsible for it. That person is not be trusted. A person claims to be motivated by altruism and concern for others but treats the server badly in a restaurant. There is a dissonance or inconsistency here.
These examples and others are not issues that are immediately evident; they are demonstrated over time. We are required, for our own protection, to exercise discernment. Trust is generated in small increments, in matters of increasing importance over time. We are dealing with human nature, and our world is filled with great variety. People of integrity exist, but many more are incapable of meeting the tests of time in business or in friendship. Our challenge is to observe patiently and weigh the evidences objectively.
I think there are various levels of trust-- maybe the increments others refer to. I have higher standards for those I have in my "inner circles"-- my partner, my children, my very close friends-- to continue to be morally upright, and if they slip in significant ways, to confess and ask forgiveness-- to be accountable and responsible. These are the people I would tell about my own shortcomings to and be reasonably sure they would not turn on me.
Friends of less significance, and family members I am not really close to, I tend to share less with. These are people I would consider to be less interested in being in relationship with me and often people who have in some way shown themselves to have less personal integrity-- they say unkind things to or about their partners or children, they have addictions, they express themselves using racist, violent, misogynistic, homophobic, or other intolerant, hateful epitaphs.
are the most effective ways to build trust. Slowly I am implementing these things in my relationships and simultanously experiencing peace and trust. https://goo.gl/YbqcoH
when it comes to friendships and relationships, one of the most important thing is Trust. This trust comes with a responsibility to create the relationship more healthy, meaningful and affectionate. Not even in friendships and relationships, you need to build this trust in work as well. There are many qualities that help a lot in building trust in your relationships. First and foremost, you need to be authentic and real. Authentic people are admired and liked a lot and not trying to be above everyone else. Secondly you need to be very positive in your outlook. It becomes very difficult to be with someone who is ranting all the time so you obviously will not be able to build trust there. Thirdly you ought to be kind and resourceful as people who are kind and helpful for others are known as the ones who inspire other people to grow. They help you make a better version of yourselves. Then you need conviction, to keep your relationships in center and maintaining these relationships is very important. There will be someone at your back during the time of your need. Compassionate people are trustworthy as if you are compassionate people will start trusting in you. If people feel safe with you, they will be confident to share their innermost things with you without fear. And the most important trait is courage – courage to take an action against the things going wrong and to stand up for what is right. With all these qualities in hand, more and more people will start trusting you.
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