Can you really have a relationship with someone you don't trust.

1. 60

   ShanteDposted 12 years ago

   Can you really have a relationship with someone you don't trust.
   
   You can love them and want your relationship to work but if you don't trust them can it? Do you give it time and hope for the best?

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2. 71

   yeagerinvestmentsposted 12 years ago

   You will expend alot of energy and time wondering if he/she is betraying you. It will eventually make a person go mad!

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      Vonda Geeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      you're right!  Best just to go your separate ways.  This happens outside of intimate relationships as well.  To entertain anyone you do not trust,  especially those who have done the worst/unforgivable and try to act otherwise is a NO NO

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3. 36

   ChristinSposted 12 years ago

   No trust is the foundation of love - and if there is no trust or if someone lies or cheats, they do not respect and therefore do not truly love you.  People make the mistake all the time of thinking if they love someone enough or just give it time, that the person will change.  It doesn't happen.

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   1. 28

      sobuj7320posted 8 years agoin reply to this

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   2. 60

      securitynyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      agree with your . no trust means nothing for me

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      oscar mrshuiposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      sometimes it depends, if I fall for money I'll be ready for any oppression I will encounter.

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   4. 60

      DIGITAL OMEGAposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I Basically think we all don't have to face all these deceit and lies from our spouse...in a case of mine i hired a hacker which made me find out all i can and am happy today..do well to contact digitalomega22@gmail.com, he will help

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      Samina Sheryarposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Trusting and continuing / discountinuing relationship with man is talk of first world's Town. In third world socio economic factors are so pressing we have to pull. they  say when man goes out  loosen strings when comes home pull strings.  Fate preva

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   6. 61

      alexarain379posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      i think love contain trust, when i lose trust i lose percentage of love and by the rest i can get by some time the losing part again

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4. 91

   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   I think it depends on why there is no trust. Thanks to my childhood I have a very hard time trusting. I have been with my husband for quite a few years and I love him. However I do not, and never will trust him 100%. The key to making our relationship work is two part. I have to know that my lack of trust is unfounded and that he has never even show the smallest sign of not being trustworthy. He has to understand that I need a tad more reassurance than someone else might. As long as there is an open communication line then it seems to work. When lack of trust leads to resentment and an end of communication then the relationship might as well be over. Anything can be overcome with good communication skills.

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5. 68

   libby1970posted 12 years ago

   I think any relationship is based on trust. If you don't have trust then what do you have? A person who doesn't trust the other will always be wondering, worried, and looking for something wrong to happen. A person should trust someone until they give you reason to not trust them. If they do give you reason to not trust then you either let that person go and move on or forgive. Forgiving a person isn't easy but it can be done. However, you can't badger a person to death either...you will only push them away.
   
   Trust can return even after you've been hurt but it takes time and both parties giving 100 percent. You have to learn to let go. If a person wants to cheat or whatever, they will do it no matter what you do. The best thing to do is trust and see what happens.

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      Krissy16posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I have a ? I've been with my child's father for 3years I found out he was living a double life with a woman and her child he left her alone after he found out I talk to her an found out the truth I forgave him and we moved on but I can't trust him

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6. 63

   antonrosaposted 12 years ago

   It depends on the situation and what the needs are.

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7. 50

   FoxxCposted 12 years ago

   You can try to have a relationship without trust but it really isn't worth the heartache and time. If you don't trust them why do you want to be with them? Has that person given you a reason to not be trusted; if so why continue to be with them. You could  enjoy being in a relationship with someone who you know  loves you and is honest with you (cause those who love you are honest with you even if that honesty is not always what you want at the moment). Instead you  want to waste your time with someone who everytime you're with them all you can think about is if that person is lying to me, cheating on me, etc. That just leads to constant arguing and hurt feelings which after awhile can turn love in to hate. Sometimes its best to let a relationship go don't waste time hoping for the best cause it may not ever happen. But if that person has not given you any reason for mistrust then you really need to have a talk with them and let them know your insecurities.This way you can see if you two can work through them if not relieve them all together.

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8. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Trust is best given to those who have demostrated honesty and integrity overtime. Too many people subscribe to the opposite belief by stating: "I'll trust anyone until they (prove) me wrong." That type of thinking is a con man's dream!
   Trust like (respect) should be earned in my opinion. I would not choose to spend my time being with someone I didn't trust.

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      ERICKS Melendezposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That true,it hard to be at peace .. knowing you in a roEller coster relationship..

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      monia saadposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Of course not .. anything to do with not succeed without confidence. That trust must be the foundation
      
      But there are some people hard to get their confidence easily and are often Ajtegwa more time even to reassure their partner. In the end there is

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9. 82

   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   
   
   Why would anyone in his/her logical mind want to have a relationship with someone he/she does not trust?  That premise is totally illogical.  The basis of a respectful and loving relationship is trust.  When a relationship is based upon trust, there is a comfort within that relationship.  There is a freedom for people to be their unique selves and their most vulnerable selves. 
   
   When a relationship is based and built upon trust, each person has each other's back.  If a relationship is not based upon trust, the relationship is and will become problematic in more ways than one.  If one cannot trust a person in a relationship, what GOOD is the relationship.  If one elects to remain in such a toxic relationship, sooner or later he/she will be proverbially stabbed in the back.  In other words, the more trusting partner will be left holding the bag so to speak.

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10. 73

    tsadjatkoposted 11 years ago

    Hey kiddo, it's a vast ocean out there with too many fish to even count - if you hooked a bad one throw it back and cast your line in again. Stop fishing from shore, get a boat and if you still don't get a good catch get a bigger boat, use a net (internet) whatever.
    There is absolutely no reason in today's world to settle for distrust unless you are just too lazy to care about your own future. Out of the population in the US, how many millions do you think you'd have to go through before you found that person who you can trust, who was meant for you? I'd say you wouldn't have to go past 100, but there are millions to choose from! Start looking where the good fish are hiding, not where the schools feed...or
    On the other hand you could try trusting Jesus, first with your soul, then with your life, pray and listen to his word...he will not forsake you.

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    1. 50

       Durango guyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I agree with you from top to bottom.

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       Lupe Rodzposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Amen

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    3. 59

       Kay-Cee Inspiresposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Trust is the foundation of any relationshoip

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11. 45

    DDEposted 11 years ago

    If you don't have trust you have nothing in a relationship it is very important to trust each other it is what holds to people together in any relationships the strong glue that holds one together.

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12. 0

    savvydatingposted 11 years ago

    It depends on why you do not trust them. Are you naturally non-trusting or has he/she given you reason not to trust? Either way, it sounds like one or both parties need some emotional breakthroughs. For example, I dated someone (for four years) who I never really trusted. However, I suspected that he had worked in a branch of the service where one is taught to be suspicious. Thus, the relationship was troubled due to his secretiveness. That being said, he also had many, many positive qualities which compelled me to stay longer than I normally would have, like financial stability and a very loving and kind nature. But in the end, I needed more transparency, and he knew he needed to learn how to trust.
    So my point is--how willing are both parties to grow emotionally. If he/she can't, you may as well move on unless you have what it takes to live through all of the doubts or they have what it takes to seek counseling.
    .

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13. 60

    Toytastingposted 11 years ago

    In every relationship, I feel trust is the most important thing. A relationship cannot survive if trust is not there. Giving it time and hoping for the best are just means of making yourself understand that everything would be fine. But trust is something, if lost never comes back.

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14. 61

    Martin VKposted 11 years ago

    Trust is the whole point of a relationship. But at the same time this seems to be what confuses many people. People want some kind of ultimate security, which does not exist within any relationship. Trusting in someone is like believing in them, its not the same as knowing for sure.

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15. 36

    edhanposted 11 years ago

    Without trust then it will be a hopeless relationship. Don't waste time on it. It will not likely to turn out good. Move on and find someone else as there are many others around. You just need to open your eyes and see it.

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16. 50

    icvposted 10 years ago

    I have such a relationship too. In my opinion keeping a relationship with such person is not bad, but at the same time it is better to keep a aloof from them.....

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17. 56

    ScottNylandposted 10 years ago

    Of course you can. A very sick relationship. It can exist between at least 2 people, both of whom are untrustworthy. Assuming that the one party 'claims' to be trust-able, they are the untrustworthy one's who have a more outgoing personality who practice the behavior of 'the best defense is a good offense'.
    
          These personality types will usually choose a mate who usually doesn't defend themselves confidently and tend to wither when confronted in the presence of witnesses. Thus, the more dominant personality in these sick relationships always seems, to others, to be the more trustworthy and the over-all 'more together' person. They always claim to be having the more difficult time and that the naturally more silent mate would be nowhere without their help.
         The less assertive types, in a sick relationship such as this, gravitate towards the more aggressive types of personalities often with an idea that they will be helped to come out of their shell, so to speak. They are often people who are in constant need of approval from others. The sad truth is that they, as of yet, have no positive self-concept.
         These two personality types gravitate towards each other and many times they are unaware of just what it is that attracts them. Only major, life-changing events can provoke a person to find help to discover their own behaviors that always wind them up in these unhealthy, codependent relationships.
         My answer comes from life experience and group therapy as well as behavior modification and cognitive/behavioral therapy.
         There is always hope.

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18. 0

    KittHillposted 10 years ago

    No, it's as simple as that. Why would you want to have a relationship with someone you do not trust?

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19. 60

    UMHiramposted 10 years ago

    Trust is an important aspect in any relationship. If that has been broken and forgiveness isn't truly given then you will have continued problems. If you decide to stay with that person then you will have to make an effort to move forward (i.e. counseling, open/honest communication) or it won't work. You can't continually bring up the past and expect things to be better in the future.

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20. 71

    Ciel Clarkposted 10 years ago

    You can still love somebody you don't trust, but it will probably make you examine even trustworthy actions as suspect. I think this makes it difficult for both people in a relationship --one suspicious sad/angry person and one who feels wrongly accused (so why not continue as before!)
    
    Everyone makes mistakes (that is the easy part!)  the harder part is telling the truth and dealing with it, but when people do this, you can believe them when they are innocent.

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21. 49

    Aboudreaux0903posted 10 years ago

    In order to answer this question, you must first look at the definition of relationship to you, (ie . Is the relationship more of a friend based, family or a commitment to opposite or same sex partner). Also what are the motives of the relationship; are there intentions or hopes for love in one another for companionship, is it platonic, or a mutual agreement, is it of friendship and hopes of keeping one company, or is it something else?
       In order to figure out if you can have a relationship with an untrustworthy person(s) you must decide what motivated or started the relationship and why are you in it.
       If you are both in it just to "use" each other to get what you want in simple terms, then yes you can have a relationship with that person. But if you seek love of a companion then no, as put in some other comments, trust is the base of a TRUE relationship and it won't work out in the long run if you are always wondering what that person is doing or up to. It takes trust to gain respect and respect to gain a healthy relationship and the desired goal, being love and companionship.
       In short, if you are talking of a friendship, it depends what you want out of it to determine if a untrustworthy relationship will work.. If it is of family then you automatically have a "titled" relationship but does not mean you have to like, trust, or get along with them, and if it's of love and companionship then there is a big chance it'll end one way or another because, without trust there can be no real love.

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22. 60

    radixwatchposted 10 years ago

    Ideally, you cannot have a relationship with someone you don't trust. But again, trust is something that need to be built. And through time, it need to be taken care of for it's easily been broken by some silly reason.
    
    And to see the reality, you will see a lot of people having relationship with someone they cannot trust. Like husband and wife for example, some couple cannot trust each other but because of one or some reason they still together.

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23. 0

    articleshomeposted 10 years ago

    In my opinion Trust is most important to keep the relationship  going on. When there is no trust, the relationships break.
    Trust on your children, trust on spouse, trust on a friend and same way trust on a technique. Trust is the foundation for the relationships.
    Sometimes you love somebody if he/she is cheating on you, you can motivate him/her to do some programs, which can change his/her mind, so he/she can understand the value of relations and emotions. That way you can give some time and hope for the best.

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       Carol Reedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       But how many times does a person turn their cheek and hope for the best?

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24. 51

    MerneyDenposted 10 years ago

    No ! I can't . If I were really have a relationship with someone , I will trust him .

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25. 84

    Edward J. Palumboposted 10 years ago

    A relationship is possible, but it will be shallowly rooted until the trust issues are resolved. Otherwise, the permanence of the relationship is questionable at best. Trust is a requirement for a solid relationship. Anything less is a matter of "treading water" until someone better comes along.

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26. 62

    Lisa HWposted 10 years ago

    There are different reasons for "not-trusting".
    
    There's not trusting that someone won't do something sleazy - like steal your money or intentionally hurt you.  There'd be no reason to even try to have any kind of relationship with that kind of person.
    
    Then there's not trusting someone' judgment (because, perhaps, they've shown flawed judgment/reasoning ability over and over again).
    
    Also, there's not trusting a person's ability to keep his own emotions and lack of understanding some things from clouding his judgment/choices.  (In other words, someone who isn't really as emotionally grown-up and in control of emotions as he'd have to be in order to be trusted.)
    
    Also, there's someone who isn't trustworthy because they're someone who would go behind your back and either talk about you or generally do/say what they would not do/say to your face.
    
    There's not trusting someone because they don't respect you as a human being - which, in itself, shows that they aren't quite as worthy of being seen as "capable" and "responsible" enough to be trusted.
    
    Most of the time if someone has done one thing that shows he can't be trusted there's a really, really, good chance that not being trustworthy is just his way of operating; and there's really no point imagining that he'll ever become more trustworthy.
    
      Having said all those things, and pointed out those reasons that someone wouldn't be someone you could trust.....
    
    I think the best kind of relationship anyone can have with someone they don't/can't trust is a very superficial one.  We have superficial relationships of all kinds all the time - neighbors, casual acquaintances, co-workers, some family members, etc. etc.
    
    Other than that, though - no.   There can never be a relationship (a serious one) in which you can't/don't trust the other person.

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    Lilanie Angposted 10 years ago

    Yes, exactly. Relationships lasts not solely because of love or trust. Some relationships stay because of NEED. That is why there is a difference between the quote from a Filipino movie Milan "You love me because you need me" and "You need me because you love me" Making sense, right? To name a few reasons why you need to stay in a relationship despite the absence of trust are the following:
    
    1. Dependency on that person either financially, socially etc.
    2. Need to stick to the marriage vows made (for marriage individuals).
    3. Need to belong in an unbroken family (especially for couples with children).

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       Medusa13posted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Is staying with another person "just for the kids" really a good thing. I have found it can be quite damaging in the long run to the children. Just an observation.

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    EmilySparks2894posted 10 years ago

    No. How can you be in a relationship without trust? Trust is the basis for relationships. If you continue in a relationship without trusting the person, it is only a matter of time before it fizzles out and causes many problems as you will always be doubting the person and what they say. Is that really how you want to live your life? In doubt and fear?

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    Shil1978posted 10 years ago

    Trust forms the very core of a strong relationship. Without trust, it's questionable how far a relationship would go. I really don't think it's worth it unless trust is reestablished. Sometimes the heart wants to believe and wants to make it work, even when you have that underlying feeling that it's probably not worth it. The best someone can hope for is to give the relationship a couple of chances and if still there is no trust forming, then probably let it go for good.

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30. 55

    Jaipreet Nandaposted 10 years ago

    No, you can't.If there is no trust in your relationship no one will accept to be in relationship.

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31. 81

    Danidaposted 10 years ago

    Yes, but not a very good one.
    
    Trust is the base of any good relationship.

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32. 80

    Nigham AFZALposted 10 years ago

    Not at all!!! you are asking for an enemy... A really wild one...

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33. 57

    Sadiq Busuriposted 10 years ago

    i guess you can though i don't see it going very far. trust is fundamental and for a meaningful relationship key

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34. 0

    Shelly Elliottposted 10 years ago

    Can we ever trust anyone? At some point we must learn that if we want a relationship to work we have to take a risk. Courage is the key. Time is the only way we can build trust, we must be kind, respect each other and be brave in our own values.

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    ravenlt04posted 10 years ago

    No! It just doesn't work. It makes innocent behaviors suspicious and no big stuff dramatic. It's stressful for both people involved. It makes people worry and stress, and stress and worry creates illnesses/diseases/unhealthiness and unhappiness!

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36. 68

    ECRileyposted 10 years ago

    I think most people have already answered this, but trust is one of the essential foundations of a relationship.  If there is no trust, a relationship will not thrive.

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37. 60

    Carol Reedposted 10 years ago

    I agree, trust is the foundation of a relationship. The same as faith, hope and belief. Without these, what type of a relationship does one have? They can have faith, hope and believe things will get better by gaining the trust they once had. Trust may take a long time to build but is not impossible, depending on what caused the mistrust. However, if the reliance isn’t earned, the one not able to trust is left with a mind in a cage of doubt and the one not being trusted finds oneself constantly on guard.  The longer in the relationship of trustless issues, the more the poison spreads.  There is a book called, “The Love Dare,” by Stephen and Alex Kendrick which may help repair a relationship, depending on the damage.

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       Carol Reedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       If  "Love Dare" doesn't help & if counseling can't change the path. Then one needs to know when to open the cage door & fly away before destroying the dignity & self-esteem that may be left. With no trust, the thread holding things togeth

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38. 51

    AlexandriaDonovanposted 10 years ago

    No, it's crucial to the foundation of a relationship.

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39. 61

    JessicaCelleyposted 10 years ago

    A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all. Trust is important to a relationship as well as communication. Without both, a relationship falls by the wayside. That's why so many marriages don't last because couples don't take either trust or communication to heart. Its me, me, me instead of "US." You need to put trust into a relationship in order for it to last. Once trust is lost its so hard to get the feeling of trust to come back.

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    Kate Bilazzoposted 10 years ago

    It's possible, but if you do, you are destined to live a life of misery and self loathing.

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    amiebutchkoposted 10 years ago

    I think you can be in a relationship with someone you don't trust, but it most certainly will not be a healthy one and will require a great amount of high maintenance strategizing!

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    Kathleen Odenthalposted 10 years ago

    Absolutely not. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and without trust, you're just building a castle out of sand.

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    baybpnkposted 10 years ago

    You can never have a relationship with someone you don't trust. I have a better question for you, though: Why would you want to have a relationship with someone you don't trust?
    If they are untrustworthy, then what can you really share with them? You are supposed to be able to share a lot, trust completely, and love irrevocably the one you are in a relationship with. Friendship-wise, same thing. Why would you want to have any kind of relationship with someone you can't trust? Someone you know you can't share things with. No good comes from trying to force a relationship out of someone you don't trust but care about.

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    Kristyn05posted 10 years ago

    Yes, you will have a relationship but it will be unhealthy and toxic. There is something wrong if there is no trust.

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    Atul Dahiyaposted 10 years ago

    Trust is the foundation of any relationship and without trust no relationship can survive in the long run. However, a relationship may still work out without trust to begin with. But the two people involved must work in tandem towards building trust in their relationship, because if they fail to do so, the relationship will become more of a burden than anything else in the long run. Remember, the trust has to be mutual.

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    Abel Gabriel Popposted 10 years ago

    No way. You can´t have a relationship with someone if you don´t trust.

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    lostohanababyposted 10 years ago

    For whatever circumstance that attracted you this person, you are not sure you can trust, it will be a unusual relationship built on suspicion, nervousness, and misjudgement of that persons character, behavior and habits that you will forever feel uneasy and you will feel awkward most of the time.  Time to think it more, before you continue in a relationship with this person.  Break it up.  You can pick someone else.  There's more choices.  Lots more 'fish' in the pond!

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    Oztinatoposted 10 years ago

    Short answer: NO!
    Long answer, yes you can but it will be a really weird unhealthy and dangerous relationship!!

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    BrunoDSLposted 10 years ago

    I think you cant have a good and healthy relationship with someone you don't trust. It's hard to admit, but sometimes we need to ask yourselves the value to live this way, and go deeper and check if we the other person are capable to trust us too.

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    padmendraposted 10 years ago

    Having a relationship with one you don't trust is possible but it is not going to last for a long. Every time you might feel that the person in relationship with you will perhaps not breach the  code of trust. But your hope will merely remain a hope as the person on other side can not be taken for granted owing to his doubtful character.

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