help me understand my husband why he does what he does, i just had our 2nd child

1. 52

   happy2010posted 14 years ago

   help me understand my husband why he does what he does, i just had our 2nd child so im a stay...
   
   home mom, we grew apart, dont really talk, i always tell him we need a date night or have our time to get to know each other again,he would say yes but never actually go w/it. hard to belive but we never had a date even when we dated, we would always be at his sis house watching tv, so i told him we should go to a movie he would always say the seats in theatre are uncomfortable, or he would take me to his bfriends house leave me in the corner and walk off for few hours, now that we have kids it just got worse , please help, have no one to talk to

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2. 38

   Babii3lm0posted 14 years ago

   Maybe he is afraid to be left alone with you unless he is going to get some then and now...im not aplying anything because this is the one experence i havent had. but here is what i would do i would sit him down look him in the eye and tell him "we really have grew further apart and i love you and if you dont take me out on a date in the next two weeks than im breaking up with you" but dont really break up with him because if he really loves you he would do it but this is something i heard a friend telling her cousin
   "if iyou really love something set it free if it comes back its meant to be if it doesnt then theres something better for you and something terrible for it" (it meaning him (LOL)) if it helps tell me if it doesnt tell me...

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3. 59

   waterbottleposted 14 years ago

   one night try to seduce him into the bedroom... pretend (or you can do it) that you are gonna have sex and stuff but then talk to him. then suck it

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4. 60

   GoGrannyposted 14 years ago

   Maybe he is having a hard time adjusting to the the responsibility of his growing family and he is the only one working. Is your household in chaos when he gets home from work?  If your baby is older than three months get someone you trust to watch the kids for a few hours. Create your own date night. Fix a great dinner, rent a good movie (something he will enjoy), and make sure you look and smell good. Have everything ready for him when he gets home from work. Greet him at the door and tell him that you have planned a special evening for just the two of you because you know he has been stressed and think some quiet time home alone would be nice for him. If he likes it then maybe he will open up a little about his issues and let you know how he feels.

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5. 84

   Jaynie2000posted 13 years ago

   I'm not sure there is anything you can do to change him because he sounds exactly the same as he was before you got married. I hope this doesn't make you feel bad, but I'm going to be blunt and honest for a moment. He sounds like a person that doesn't have a lot of motivation or ambition. He seems quite content to stay home and not try new things. He also seems a bit self-centered, putting his needs and interests (or lack thereof) in front of yours.
   
   It is admirable to try and make things work because you have a child now and probably also because you love him. But trying to change someone typically only leads to more heartache. I'd seriously be running for the hills because if your life doesn't make you happy, the only two choices are to accept that this is the life you chose or to leave and find a better one.
   
   Best of luck to you.

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